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Having chemo or having good memories with the kids!

Faithgirl
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hi I’m 39 years old mother of 3, with stage IV 

colon cancer with metastasis to liver, peritoneal, 

and pelvic area. I was given less the 12 months to live. 

I’ve started chemotherapy abroad as NHS cut off this medication 3 years ago because it was too expensive. 

Im on 5 session having the worst side effects ever,

my poor husband is taking care of 2 out kids. I’m looking after my little one with the family’s help. 

My treatment is private and extremely expensive, but an uncle is footing the bill. 

But now I’m so bad I’m afraid I’m loosing all this time with my kids to be sick. 

I’ve been very strong person, but chemotherapy is killing me and I’m afraid it won’t change the outcome. 

My husband wants me back in the UK but he will need to quit his job to look after me and the kids.

We pay rent and there’s no close family to help us.

I really don’t know what to do.  

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    Hello Faithgirl,

    I am so sorry to learn of your predicament. You really are between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? As someone who has had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the last 9 years, I can appreciate your predicament, but it doesn't sound the ideal situation.

    Whereabouts are you in your course of chemo and, how soon after it is finished can you be tested to see how effective it has been?

    Would you not be better at home with your hubby and children if time is limited, particularly if you feel that chemo won't work? There is a lot to be said for quality of life, rather than quantity of life with no quality. What ages are your children? You could be spending this time at home with your family, making special memories together.

    You can arrange for carers to come in 3 or 4 times a day to look after you. You can also arrange for someone to stay with you at night if you need this. Would this be enough to allow your husband to continue workng? We used this service for my mother-in-law, who died recently. There was no charge for this and it allowed her to stay at home with her 97 year old husband right to the very end.

    You will be entitled to some benefits if you are back in the uk. These are non-contributary and don't amount to an awful lot, but every little helps. Macmillan cancer or your local Citizen's Advice Bureau can help you out with this.

    If you are paying rent, is there any possibility of renting something cheaper for you all, as you don't need additional financial worries on top of everything else? Alternatively, would your uncle consider helping out with your rent, instead of with your private treatment abroad?

    Sorry for so many questions, but I am just trying to highlight some of the possibilities.

    I sincerely hope that you can come to the right decision for you soon - if only you had a crystal ball!

    Do please let us know what you decide. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,


    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine
    Hi Jolamine, I’m between a rock and hard place yes! Just got the results from my Ct scan and it showed 25% reduced on my cancer cells. So very good news. Now I didn’t know I got get any assinstance from nurses. Yes we do pay rent, we can’t move somewhere cheaper because of my husband job it is London, we’re already outside London to pay less rent. I don’t think my uncle would agree to pay rent, because the currency is very high in pounds. I’ve agreed to my oncologist to have another round of 6 chemo then see the results and take from there. It’s been very hard being apart from my family but now I’m gonna wait for next results. Thank you for your message. I really appreciate. Xxx
  • Offline in reply to Faithgirl

     

    Hi Faithgirl,

    That is great news from your CT scan. You must be delighted with a 25% reduction.

    I hope that this next round of chemo has the same or even better results.

    Don't forget to let us know how you get on.

    I shall be waiting for good news!

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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