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parent has cancer, do i move home whilst at uni?

kate06
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Hi,

i was wondering if anyone could give me advice. I'm at university and I've just that i've found out one of my parents has cancer and will be starting chemo soon, and i've been thinking about possibly moving home next academic year (it's only like an hour away from univeristy), instead of sharing a house with my friends which i planned on doing, in order to support my parent. By the time i would move home next year then, hopefully, they would have finished chemo, (if all goes well) and i guess i'm just wondering if i would be of much help if i lived at home with them instead (my other parent also lives at home so they aren't on their own). i'm not sure whether to move home and somehow support them or whether it would be of much use since it's likely i would be spending the majority of the day at university or revising or to move out with my friends which i would also want to do but i kinda feel like i'm putting myself first instead of supporting my parent which i also really want to do. i'm not sure what i should do and what would be the best thing for them and for myself??

thanks for any help

Parents
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    Hi Kate

    Before I retired, I was a university lecturer.  If you were a student who'd come to me for advice, this is what I'd suggest:

    My advice would be to stay put and concentrate on your studies; that extra hour travelling time is really two hours - one hour there and one hour back. That's probably two hours that you aren't able to study, and furthermore, would you be able to do any study while living at home?  

    I know that you love your parents dearly, but this is one time when you must be pragmatic. Most people only get to university once, and what you do while at university has a profound effect on your entire career. Furthermore, you still end up paying 9000 quid a year whether you come out with a first or a third. 

    So, I suggest you reside at or near university, where you can concentrate on your studies, but visit your parents every sunday to keep in touch, and of course be available at any other time for contingencies that arise. 

    If the position changes and you feel unable to continue, then most universities have procedures in place. I suggest you waste no time in speaking to your personal tutor (if you have one), or the award director for your course, or your student advisor to find out which options are open to you.

    Finally, most universities have a free student counselling service. Whether or not you decide to move back home, you may want to make use of this anyway.  And if things get too much for you, don't try to cope in silence but go and talk to someone. 

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    Hi Kate

    Before I retired, I was a university lecturer.  If you were a student who'd come to me for advice, this is what I'd suggest:

    My advice would be to stay put and concentrate on your studies; that extra hour travelling time is really two hours - one hour there and one hour back. That's probably two hours that you aren't able to study, and furthermore, would you be able to do any study while living at home?  

    I know that you love your parents dearly, but this is one time when you must be pragmatic. Most people only get to university once, and what you do while at university has a profound effect on your entire career. Furthermore, you still end up paying 9000 quid a year whether you come out with a first or a third. 

    So, I suggest you reside at or near university, where you can concentrate on your studies, but visit your parents every sunday to keep in touch, and of course be available at any other time for contingencies that arise. 

    If the position changes and you feel unable to continue, then most universities have procedures in place. I suggest you waste no time in speaking to your personal tutor (if you have one), or the award director for your course, or your student advisor to find out which options are open to you.

    Finally, most universities have a free student counselling service. Whether or not you decide to move back home, you may want to make use of this anyway.  And if things get too much for you, don't try to cope in silence but go and talk to someone. 

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