Hi Jules.

So good to see you seem to have regained your usual serene equilibrium in this thread. That's what has always struck me about you: you always seem grounded,, pragmatic & wise - in what must be very challenging, heartbreaking times for you.  My own emotions sometimes shoot up so high that I  feel I've landed on a parallel universe (being Italian doesn't help much either!).

I wish you a happy, enjoyable weekend- you absolutely do deserve it!

Hi Serena,

Am feeling a lot more levelled today!  Think we all have to accept that there will be highs and lows during both the cancer journey and life in general. Sometimes (like last weekend) you just find it that bit harder to keep storing the emotions, hence the rant!!  But if you cant do it on here then where.   Think sometimes life deals funny cards and no doubt another rant due to down days will be out there somewhere but for now feeling better able to cope (could be its my hormones/age playing its part too).. Hope you too have a peaceful weekend and thank you for your kind words.Jules

Hi Jules I feel so bad , I have been on here since your first post and hadnt seen it.I am glad to read that things have picked up for you since but would like to send some extra hugs to you.I dont really look through lots of posts as I usually, as I am now, come on this site whilest sat in the room with John and I feel a bit secretive when I, m on, a bit like talking behind his back .so I usually just have a quick look, which is why I have only just posted to you .I think lots of people are happy to be there for you for a change.take care Jules xxxnite nite x Tonic( ooh I am so long winded sometimes!!!!

Jules - so glad to see you are feeling better. It's supposed to be a nice warm weekend so enjoy the sunshine and I hope things continue to stay calm for you. Sending you lots of love and good wishes. Max x

Jules - so glad to see you are feeling better. It's supposed to be a nice warm weekend so enjoy the sunshine and I hope things continue to stay calm for you. Sending you lots of love and good wishes. Max x

Hi Max

Love the new pic with your daughter and you must as a family be on cloud nine with the good news you have received regarding the liver re-section (sorry its taken me a while to catch up (no excuses just did not browse enough).  I am sure everyone in your life and all your virtual friends feel the same. Great relief that after waiting over 3 weeks for this news you can now see your treatment plan moving forward and giving you a future full of hope.  You are an absolute inspiration to all those dealing with such a hard battle and proof that there are so many options to look at when dealing with Cancer.  Look after yourself and I expect that surgeon to be getting kisses and hugs in due course.  In the meantime I send virtual hugs to keep you going and also thank you so much for the support you have given me and others on this forum.

This forum is awesome at lifting the spirits and I am so glad I found it.  Have a lovely weekend.  Jules xx

Jules .....

Thanks so much for your good wishes - yep its certainly given us some hope of more time together. As you know, this disease causes so much stress in every part of your life - emotional, income, planning anything, intimacy etc etc etc that sometimes I wonder if it would be fairer on my family to let nature take its course and slip away quietly. It seems so unfair that my husband's life has changed so dramatically and he isn't the one with the illness - I feel very guilty that his life is as much 'on hold' as mine. Its sad that you and your husband find it difficult to talk about things like that cos I bet he feels the same way too but for whatever reason cant put it into words. We are all different though aren't we and all going through very stressful circumstances.

You are such a lovely lady Jules - such a thoughtful and supportive friend to all - we are all very lucky to have you in our lives! Have a good weekend with your family and keep feeding the blackbirds (I have an army of them everyday here too - tesco's sells me a lot of sultanas!!!). Speak to you very soon. Max x

Max

Nature is taking it course by giving you the chance to enjoy life (thats nature after all)  for as long as you can and why not. If it gives you a better quality of life, no matter how long, you will make the most of it by spending that time with the ones you love and who love you. You, nor they, would really want it any other way.   Dont you dare think about slipping away quietly, as you put it.  Theres that guilty word again. Like others have said to me (on here and my daughter too) no one chooses cancer (or any illness for that matter) and if the roles were reversed you would be doing the same as what your husband is doing - helping you fight. Its quite a frightening battle to be part off but with our forum buddies none of us are alone and that is why I hope we can keep others company during their journeys of the ups as well as the downs.  Woah - what a ramble that is - sorry. 

Thanks again for those lovely words, its very humbling especially as in the real light of day I have lots to be thankful for (sometimes emotions get in the way of reality) having already had over 35 yrs of marriage. Imagine, we met on a blind date and my Mum said it would never last.

Talking of the blackbirds, hubby is watching the grand prix practice and all of a sudden walked over to our window to chase of 'stalking cat' - not ours but one of several that wonder through our garden on a regular basis.  We both love cats (had one years ago) and know its only natural for them to go after the birds and I suppose I am tempting fate with so many feeders hanging around.  Have not tried the sultanas but the friend I go to bingo with buys grapes for the birds (hides them from her hubby as dont think he would be too amused at such extravagence).

Max have a peaceful weekend  and relax in the knowledge that those you love want you around for a long time yet.  Chat soon.Jules

Hi Max,

Hope you don't think I'm intruding re your posting to Jules. I am glad Jules has taken you to task regarding what you said about quietly slipping away. Don't you dare even think about it again please. My wife has a load of health problems (Plus having to put up with me and that takes some doing) which get her down and on a few occasions has said, I would be better off without her as she feels she restricts the things we used to enjoy doing together.  I have always said, If the boot were on the other foot she would do all she could for me and have had to remind her of the pledge we made when we got married 45 years ago, "Through sickness and in health".

I agree wholeheartedly with your comments about Jules and that also applies to you too Max. We do have a lovely community of people on here with so many caring people.

Do take care and have a relaxing weekend, best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Jules & Brian ....

What sweeties you are and I know you are both right but I am sure we all have these feelings creeping in sometimes. Have had my Herceptin infusion today and just feeling a bit 'thingy'.

No wonder your marriage has lasted 45yrs Brian - your wife is a lucky lady!   And had to smile Jules when you said your Mum had said 'it would never last!' - shows you that your parents dont always know best!!  Something our kids tell us often!

Andy & I have been married 37yrs too - been together since teenagers. We have had our 'blips' like everyone after all those years but are still best mates and still talk lots (well I do anyway  - he just nods and grunts in the right places ha ha ha!). Sending you both a hug and speak soon. Max x

Max

Love the 'thingy' word.  Of course we have those days - remember how this thread started and thats less than a week ago.  Sometimes its just difficult to keep that smiley feeling going on and thats why the forum is here. 'REASSURANCE' is the name of the game and we all seek confirmation that its okay to have blips. My daughter(half way through second pregnancy) and me (in the throws of the 'change') - are a hormone timebomb and I am not sure how much of my 'down' time is my moodswings kicking in (hubby never mentions them bless him) and how much is the lack of conversation. Needless to say my daughter probably had earache after an hour with me today but considering its her Dad with the Cancer she is an amazing support to me as is our son.

Cant believe it, we have rain in Middlesex so my mower is still unused and I now have a lovely show of buttercups in the lawn - really should have done it during the week but was enjoying reading in the sun. Well have to hope it drys out tomorrow and then I will get it done.

Can you believe it, I am now watching Pointless and talking to the TV!!!

Take care  Jules x

Yep I can believe it - I love Pointless!  Take care x