Hi Jules.

So good to see you seem to have regained your usual serene equilibrium in this thread. That's what has always struck me about you: you always seem grounded,, pragmatic & wise - in what must be very challenging, heartbreaking times for you.  My own emotions sometimes shoot up so high that I  feel I've landed on a parallel universe (being Italian doesn't help much either!).

I wish you a happy, enjoyable weekend- you absolutely do deserve it!

Hi Serena,

Am feeling a lot more levelled today!  Think we all have to accept that there will be highs and lows during both the cancer journey and life in general. Sometimes (like last weekend) you just find it that bit harder to keep storing the emotions, hence the rant!!  But if you cant do it on here then where.   Think sometimes life deals funny cards and no doubt another rant due to down days will be out there somewhere but for now feeling better able to cope (could be its my hormones/age playing its part too).. Hope you too have a peaceful weekend and thank you for your kind words.Jules

Hi Jules I feel so bad , I have been on here since your first post and hadnt seen it.I am glad to read that things have picked up for you since but would like to send some extra hugs to you.I dont really look through lots of posts as I usually, as I am now, come on this site whilest sat in the room with John and I feel a bit secretive when I, m on, a bit like talking behind his back .so I usually just have a quick look, which is why I have only just posted to you .I think lots of people are happy to be there for you for a change.take care Jules xxxnite nite x Tonic( ooh I am so long winded sometimes!!!!

Hi Jules I feel so bad , I have been on here since your first post and hadnt seen it.I am glad to read that things have picked up for you since but would like to send some extra hugs to you.I dont really look through lots of posts as I usually, as I am now, come on this site whilest sat in the room with John and I feel a bit secretive when I, m on, a bit like talking behind his back .so I usually just have a quick look, which is why I have only just posted to you .I think lots of people are happy to be there for you for a change.take care Jules xxxnite nite x Tonic( ooh I am so long winded sometimes!!!!

Hi Tonic

Please dont feel bad, we all have days like this and I did not want to put my woes on an existing thread so thought it better to start a new one but glad to say the low period did not last long (definitely got more of my late Dad's' character than I realised).  I vary how long I spend on the site but try to pop on before and after work. I get flagged if an e mail comes in as the laptop is usually on in the evening.  Both hubby and I have our own (his belongs to work so he bought me one for my birthday and its a bit addictive!!!)  He knows I have a virtual band of friends on the forum and think he is pleased I find it such a support.  I did not have the courage to tell him how I felt but suspect my mood probably gave him some idea.  A leopard cannot change its spots so people cannot be expected to do it either.  Sometimes learning to live with the frustrations is harder than accepting life with cancer but hey ho.

Am off to have my hair cut and visit my daughter this morning (walk past her place on the way home so silly not to stop of a drink).

Hope you and John have settled into a workable routine and that you have a lovely weekend (the weather here should help).  All the hugs are reciprocated and do take care.  Jules x