One week from diagnosis to death!

Hi there

I am writing this and I am not sure why. I think I am still shell shocked at the speed of what has happened. My mum had been feeling tired for a few months and the GP had put it down to her needing to increase her diabetes tablets which was done but made no difference. Blood tests at the begining of July said that her Potassium levels were low and she was put on tablets to increase this. A further blood test said that her iron levels were low so she was put on iron tablets. On Wednesdayt the 22nd of July she woke up at 5 am very breathless, an ambulance was called and she was admitted to hospital, she had more blood taken and a chest x-ray and CT was done, something showed up on the x-ray and CT and that she would need a bronchoscopy which was done on Thursday 23rd July. She was told on the Monday 27th July that she needed another bronchoscopy and that it was nothing that couldnt be fixed, this was due to be done on the Tuesday 28th July. This had to cancelled as the doctor had an emergency to deal with on the Tuesday so it was scheduled for the Wednesday 29th of July. This time it went ahead and on the Thursday my mum was given the results with my brother and niece present, I lived 60 miles away so my niece phoned my and told the bad news, my mum had lung and stomach cancer and there was nothing they could do to help her, it was terminal and that she didnt have long to live, she was only 66 years old and was such a strong, independent woman even though she had other medical conditions she wouldnt give in to. I went to be with my mum on

Friday 31st of July, she was started on morphine as the pain in her chest had got worse. that weekend she was given blood transfusion as the tumour in her stomach was bleeding she was also started on a tablet that would stop this bleeding. She was on a general medical ward and was getting very aggitated at the noise in the ward, so we spoke to the consultant in Pallative care and she said she would arrange a side room which was better for mum she wasnt quite so aggitated. Over that weekend the doctors said mum had had a stroke as her left side was very weak and she couldnt hold her own weight and needed two nurses to help her go to the toilet. Her face had also swollen up as they said one of the arteries taking the blood from the head was blocked and that was why her face was swollen, she was given steroids to try and ease this otherwise she would have had to go to a hospital in Edinburgh for a CT scan and a stent put in but she wasnt strong enough. Mum said she had a lot of pain in her abdomin/heart and the doctors werent sure if it was the tumour in her stomach or if she had a heart attack. During all this mum was saying she wanted to go home but we all knew that she needed a lot of specialist care and that she would never be able to come home. Mum was moved to the hospital Hospice on Monday the 3rd of August and passed away on Thursday 6th of August and I am totally lost, heart broken, lonely and devastated, within a week had lost my mum and my best friend. I am shell shocked at the speed of this I know its only been 10 days since she passed away but I still cant believe it.

Liz x

Parents
  • How are you getting on? I know from first hand experience how hard it is to lose your mum, I lost my mum on November 8th this year and it really does hurt. We knew we were going to lose my mum, but not this soon, she had ovarian cancer and she saw her Oncologist the week before she died and was going to be put on a new treatment, the Oncologist was optimistic and said there were lots of options. She had been feeling ill for a week when my dad took her into hospital, he took her in on Friday 6th and she died 2 days later on Sunday 8th. We couldn't believe how quick it was, she had a severe infection which made her tummy swell up, no amount of antibiotics would help her, her blood pressure was low and wouldn't rise and the same goes for her blood sugar level, we were told at 1pm on the Sunday that the next 24 hours were critical, she was dead by 4pm, her lungs filled with fluid, I can still hear her breathing and see her looking all grey, I try and block it out but its not easy. I'm getting married next year and she was supposed to be there to see me walk down the aisle, despite the cancer we thought we'd have a good few years more with her, we never ever thought she'd die so soon. We'd been making plans, plans for the coming year and we were all optimistic, even her Oncologist was absolutely shocked to hear my mum had died, no one had expected it. The 8 months before my mum died she'd been feeling and looking fantastic, as you can see in my avatar (taken in August) she was tanned and looking healthy, its hard to believe 3 months after that picture was taken that she was dead.

    I understand the shock and the pain, its hard to get your head round it, its hard to understand how your mum can be gone, my mum was there for me every day of my life and I feel completely lost now, I dont know how I'm supposed to go on without her. She was 58 years old, she'll never see me get married, she'll never meet her grandchildren, there is so much that she'll never experience and its just not fair.

    Life does gone on though, as I'm sure you realise, as hard as it is we have to keep on going forward and hope that one day we will be able to smile when we think of them.

  • Hi 

    I just wanted to say thank you for your message. It's just so unbelievable how quickly you can lose someone to cancer. I'm so sorry your mum didn't get to see you walking down the aisle, that must have been so hard for you but I believe she would have been by your side on your special day.

    How are you getting on now? It is so so hard just getting on with living wondering what life would be like if she were still here and what would mum say or do.

    I hope you are ok.

    Take care

    Liz 

Reply
  • Hi 

    I just wanted to say thank you for your message. It's just so unbelievable how quickly you can lose someone to cancer. I'm so sorry your mum didn't get to see you walking down the aisle, that must have been so hard for you but I believe she would have been by your side on your special day.

    How are you getting on now? It is so so hard just getting on with living wondering what life would be like if she were still here and what would mum say or do.

    I hope you are ok.

    Take care

    Liz 

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