Hi Everyone,

So basically my Mum has stage 4 triple negative breast cancer. She stopped all treatment at the end of November last year and was told she'd be lucky to see Christmas. Fast forward to now, it's nearly the end of May and she's still here. 

She's had numerous stints in hospital and is currently in a hospice and has been for 3 weeks minus 2 days in hospital nearly a week ago. Things are now progressing quite quick. An xray and CT scan has revealed that she has a collapsed lung and only the right side is working but the cancer is now spreading there too, it's spread to her liver and has nodules all down her left side. She's a lot more breathless and struggling to walk further than the room she's in. My mum told me yesterday that we're looking at weeks left to live. 

I wanted to hear this from the nurse myself so that I can make a decision with work. I spoke to the nurse today and she said she thinks we're looking at weeks. I asked are we talking 3 or 4 weeks or weeks into months like 8 weeks. Because it's still difficult to know what to do with work. If someone told me for certain she'd not be here after 3 or 4 weeks i would go off of work now. I could financially JUST afford that. But if it was to go on for months still, I can't afford it. I've exhausted every avenue. I've used up all my sick allowance, I've brought leave forward, I've recently taken 4 days unpaid compassionate leave, i rang Macmillan previously for advice but nothing can come of it. I don't have loads of money. I live alone and rely on myself only so it's so worrying knowing what to do for the best. When I asked the nurse again in terms of how many weeks we could be looking at.., her response is basically that it's impossible to say and everyone is different. I understand, it's just so difficult knowing what to do for the best. I have 2 credit cards and am thinking should I just think screw it and go off work now. It just feels so exhausting knowing what to do because I don't want any regrets once Mum has gone but at the same time I can't afford financially to be off and it go on into months rather than weeks. 

I have such a headache right now, the stress is unreal. And I constantly worry work will get fed up of me and sack me anyway cos I've had 2 lots of sickness this year and a fair few days of compassionate leave. 

I'm at a loss. I just don't know what to do for the best.

Thanks if you read all that x