HI li11y, Really sorry to hear this. And are you certain it's Stage 4? I'm not a medic but 'Stage 4' and 'localized' are not normally words that go together. Sometimes patients, in the shock of the moment, do not understand everything. Mixing up Grade and Stage, for example. Wishing you the very best. x Harry

Hi li11y

i was awake last night too most of the night. I'm in a different situation to you but my husband is having treatment for stage 4 cancer. It sounds like you are at the start of treatment... life will be very uncertain. I'm sorry you're on your own that must be terribly difficult... what helped me last night was to call the Samaritans help line there is someone there 24 hours to speak to and it helps to just not be alone. You can get counselling through Macmillan as well. Or some friends might be able to offer you some support but I know it's difficult. Just wanted to let you know that I hear you and hope you get positive results from treatment. There  are lots of good treatments for cancer and things are changing all the time so  hold onto that hope 

xxx

Hi its stage 4, thats spread just to the outside of my lower area, and lymph nodes. its not spread into my upper abody. This means they think its still treatable. 

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. This must be so difficult and isolating. It's good news that they've said it's treatable, and as an above commenter said, medicine is always changing and evolving so there's plenty of hope yet :love:

There are a few really great cancer centres that offer somewhere cosy to chill out, and serve free tea and cakes etc, and you can either chat to the staff/other people or get peace and quiet on your own but in the company of people who understand a bit of what you're going through. I spent some time at one of those in manchester when my mother was ill. Unfortunately her cancer was untreatable so she is no longer with us, but it brought so much comfort to her being around people who sort of understood without her having to say anything, and the staff were really lovely and warm too. I think there are quite a few - the one we went to was called Maggies and there are some all over.

There are also usually Facebook groups for specific types of cancer, where people can share their stories and experiences and offer each other hope and comfort. I know none of this feels substantially comforting in the wake of something so scary, but I promise you that it's worth keeping hope because amazing things can happen. Even though my mum eventually passed away, she hugely outlived the doctors' estimates. We have a friend called Heidi who was told she would die within a few months, but that was 10 years ago and she's still doing great and is doing loads of charity work and all her cancer markers are way down.
 

Remember that there is hope, and when it feels like there isn't, remember you are not alone - there are people out there going through similar things and they will also want to connect, if you can find them (for example through groups). Sending you so much love in this difficult time. Please remember you aren't as alone as you feel, and that there is hope!Xxx

PS I can only imagine how frightened you must be - chemo and the word 'cancer' feel so scary, especially when they're new. But you are much stronger than you think - I promise you, you've got this. You will get through this! You can do this! If there was no hope, they would not say it's treatable. You can do this, and it'll all be worth it in the end xx

Thank you so much, your response meant alot and ill look at maggies as ive seen this in the information they have me but wasnt sure. Ill look on Facebook too, i have read a few blogs. 
 

I am sorry for your loss of your mum, I lost my mum over 3 years ago ( not through Cancer). My dad passed away when i was young from the same cancer I have. 
 

Thank you xxx

Oh I'm sorry about your parents! I don't have either parent around any more either. Every time something significant happens it makes me feel pretty lonely, so I'm really sorry they aren't there with you at this time! With your dad - it probably adds an element of worry that he died of the same cancer. But remember that medicine and treatments have advanced a lot in recent years, so something that was completely untreatable then can have much better outcomes now.

This might be strange to say but if you ever want to message me I'm always happy to chat to you, as I don't have much family and I know what it's like to feel alone. I'm around london so if you have any important appointments and don't have anyone to go with you, if they're not too far I'm happy to come along as know it must be super daunting.

If you have children/friends/relatives who could come and stay with you for a bit, try reaching out to them. There may be people who are afraid to reach out to you because they don't know what to say. But as I've said, please feel free to contact me any time and do try the Facebook/maggies route. I've sent you a friend request on here so if you accept that, i can send you a message with my WhatsApp number xxx