Hi 

Given your diagnosis the prognosis is very good. The treatment is hard and during my own journey for the same condition I too felt very low and terribly pessimistic. In my last week of radiotherapy I seriously considered discontinuing treatment as I felt so ill. Much of what you have suggested is familiar ground.  Dark thoughts during a personal crisis. 

However I stuck with it. Within a few weeks afterwards everything improved rapidly and finally I could see beyond it all with great relief. 

I would respectfully suggest you have a chat with your hospital cancer support group. That might help see you through this dark time and gain some positivity. 

I am 18 months post treatment and recovered fine. It is easy to overthink it all and dr google provides far too much scary info.   

Check out Gary’s (Vatch) blog on a similar condition and his recovery. It certainly provides a much needed positivity. 

gammaraygary.wordpress.com

Quitting is not a great option when it is quite possible that you could be looking back on it all in a few years with it all well and truly behind you. 

All the best. 

Paul

Hi Paul

Treatment has hit a snag - in that they found a tumor had been missed on the mri (parotid gland) and i need to have treatment 'reset' now to rework it out, i dont know how the heck i got two unrelated tumours but such is life

Its really helpful to hear it is not me that is going crazy and that others have these mood swings. I constantly have to keep a positive front up with family etc - even when i dont feel it.

Really glad you got through it!!! and i will look at the blog, thanks

Please don't even think this .... I did too if I'm honest , but I am now 12 weeks post treatment & getting better each and every day . I never thought I would get to this point because it hasn't been easy .its a brutal treatment but has the very best outcome . Please don't stop. My cancer was also HPV but not tonsil , base of tongue . I am feeling very positive . X x