Morning all, had my rescheduled follow up with my breast surgeon yesterday, very well organised, just patient into the Haven, met by masked staff, masks and hand sanitizer at the doorway, no crowds. Sadly, my mastectomy and reconstruction looks very odd to me, Id had an implant when I was 18, my sternum(breast bone) is "Depressed" and breast hadnt developed properly. It was a mess, the implant gave me a sense of feeling and looking almost "normal" after years of being bullied by the school *** in the changing rooms. Going through teenage years with a prosthesis was tough. So you can maybe understand my sensitivity about now having the chest "dent" back, and a collection of discoloured scars under my breast and more along the side of it, and a dog ear fold of skin that sticks out. Am now facing the prospect of bone scan and CAT scan as ribs on other side are painful to the touch. And then the kicker, My daughter had invited me to come with her next week for a look at wedding dresses. Its been whats keeping me going, the prospect of a mum and daughter day out. She rang to say shes worried I wouldnt cope with being in the car on a long drive, and perhaps I could watch on zoom and her fiancees sister could go with her, I lost it. It didnt help when she asked brightly how Id got on at appt, and I said I was upset and scared. I also told her surgeon was talking about re-operating, maybe putting in an additional implant, to which she said "Its just cosmetic, its not really important". Im afraid I didnt cope with that. Anybody else feel like they suddenly flop and find it tough to keep cheerful in these situations? I have an underlying health issue which means Ive been stuck inside shielding for three months and the wedding dress trip was the first thing Id had to look forward to. I hate feeling like a moaning minnie, but Im due an occupational health telephone review in a few weeks and dont know what to say to them because I have no idea what the scans are going to say, my arthritis is playing hell with my joints, my bones hurt, and we have no idea if its worse due to the examestane tablets Im on, because the anastrazole led to a big rise in bone and joint pain. And apparently exemastane can cause depression! grrr.
