Hello Sambee2, my story is three years ago my husband who is now 74 was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer three years ago.  So I k ow how hard the waiting is.  The treatment carries on working even after it's finished so they like to do a scan to see how it's going later on as this is a better reading.  I would imagine that either before they see him he might get a scan, or the oncologist may wait and see how he looks and how he is coping first.  So everyone is different in how they deal with their patient.  He will get chest infections, my husband gets them regularly but it's lung cancer so it's normal to get these, it's horrible to see them suffer but it's the nature of the cancer.  We just take it a day at a time and don't look ahead, we can't guess how it will go but if your Dad is like my husband he will fight it for his family.  Mine hates his daughters worrying about him, it stresses him out, so just be there for him, offer help but don't try and control the situation it really isn't possible, so stay strong and upbeat, no one wants to see sad faces and worried family, I know it's hard but you can do it.  I'll put you on my follow the thread so I can see how you are doing.  Best of luck with your Dad's treatment.  Carol x 

Hello

firstly that you so much for your response that's really kind. I'm so sorry to hear your husband is incurable how does he cope with this? Is there any treatment he is offered? We haven't been told for certain my dad isn't incurable but we were told only 1 in 10 survive the cancer and would see how he responded to treatment so we are now waiting for the appointment. Still no scan or any sign of a scan so I'm guessing they will as you said see how he is at the appointment. My dad doesn't talk any he just always tells us he is fine and doesn't really like to go into detail often gets agitated with us so we try our best to not speak about it Infront of him. Thank you so much. I don't know anyone who has went through this so I often struggle with my own thoughts and often late at night when I originally posted this sink into my own little depression. It's hard to comprehend. My dad is only 55 so hard to come to terms with the fact he has cancer. How do you manage? How does your kids cope? 
 

thank you again for your kindness 

Sam 

Hi Sambee2, they cope a lot better now we are three years on, their Dad doesn't want to discuss it as they have children of their own and talking about cancer does not help at all.  We just tell them what is happening, if he's really poorly I let them know.  Dad's are special but they are supposed to protect you and that's how they want you to see them.  Norman was given a 7% survival rate before treatment, so he is doing well.  Today we've had a call from his oncologist telling us his current immunotherapy treatment has made a vast improvement and he's only half way through it.  You need to try and live as normal a life as possible and that's what we try to do.  Obviously your Dad is younger so he is likely to be offered as much treatment as he can take to get him better.  I've accepted your friend request.  Kind regards, Carol x 

Hi carol,

I am so happy to hear that the treatment has made a difference to your husband and I pray for yous. Thank you so much. Unfortunately my dad has emphysema in one lung and the other lung has cancer so this is where he struggles with options. He has also had a previous heart attack so they are keen to avoid chemo and this is why radiotherapy was offered. It's the waiting and the unknown for me that I struggle with at the moment but everything you have said is correct and I really appreciate your response it really does give me some kind of peace knowing other people can offer me advise. I think I was very guilty of hearing the word cancer and expecting him to be dead two weeks after. It's a bit of peace to know that people can still live for many years with cancer even if incurable. My thoughts are with you and your husband x

Hi carol,

I am so happy to hear that the treatment has made a difference to your husband and I pray for yous. Thank you so much. Unfortunately my dad has emphysema in one lung and the other lung has cancer so this is where he struggles with options. He has also had a previous heart attack so they are keen to avoid chemo and this is why radiotherapy was offered. It's the waiting and the unknown for me that I struggle with at the moment but everything you have said is correct and I really appreciate your response it really does give me some kind of peace knowing other people can offer me advise. I think I was very guilty of hearing the word cancer and expecting him to be dead two weeks after. It's a bit of peace to know that people can still live for many years with cancer even if incurable. My thoughts are with you and your husband x