Dear Marymae, firstly if that's your name it's lovely.  Of course you are worrying about you, you know who you are, despite many deaths you have no personal knowledge of them, so it's only right that you be concerned about you and your family.  Cancer is a big deal, it's not like you have flu, so it seems perfectly normal that you are worried about your future.  My husband has cancer and we are three years on with treatment, still having immunotherapy as it's incurable.  So we cope by taking each day as a special day, if he's not well we have a quiet day, read the papers, have cake and coffee and watch the birds nesting.  If it's a good day we enjoy it, we rarely look to the future because no one can predict it!  Obviously it's hard at the moment due to lockdown but just appreciate the small things, they mean a lot.  If you are on anti depressants and feel they're not helping ask your GP to re evaluate the situation.  Good luck, Carol x 

Thanks Carole, thanks for quick reply! Hoping time will teach me a few lessons! Thing is I rarely feel normal emotionally or physically and not really sure what's what any more! Wishing you and your husband best wishes and like you said nobody can predict the future! 

Thanks Billy, sounds like you're doing a splendid job ! Good wishes to you both x