Hello

This absolutely sucks, I can imagine the utter frustration. 

If you really can't work from home, then it looks as though you'll be a bit stuck, what with you having to isolate yourself due to being within the 'vulnerable' category. 

I wonder if there is still a way you can make a contribution from home. For example, supporting your colleagues who are picking up the NHS work remotely (even if just assisting them with the administration/planning/evaluation side of things...not ideal, but you'll be doing something). I wonder if there's scope for you to come up with some new material for a new course? Does your company want to move into other ways of delivering training and can you get busy recording this from home? (we do our training like this at work...we get sent a DVD of a rather engaging trainer and all sit down together to watch it). What about some online training modules, I've used a few of these lately (logging on to an online portal and hearing a voice talking over slides/graphics...quite fun actually). 
 

If none of that is possible (or if it is, you just don't want to do it because you want to get back into your role), it might just be a case of having to ride this one out unfortunately. Find things to do at home to occupy yourself. Doing things you enjoy. Keeping in touch with your work family (we are all at home now and we video call each other regularly which always lifts my mood). There are a fair few volunteering opportunities on the Do It volunteering site last time I looked, all of which could be done from home. Also, this site is great if you need to let off any steam. 

I've been in isolation for a week and it's driving me crazy...I miss my commute and my office. I do understand feeling anxious to get back to work! 

Thank you for your reply. I feel so lonely. I'm tired of being the odd one out. The cancer girl. I want my life back. I can't stop crying. I've had such a journey with my mental health and I literally can't take anymore.

So sad. Really sorry you're going through this. I was just thinking today...wow when the new year turned, we just had absolutely no idea this was coming....

It's a terribly tough time for everyone but *especially* people like you who have been on quite a journey and who are struggling (understandably) with their mental health. I completely understand the desire to get back to normal and that you're anxious for your identity to be something else other than "cancer girl", as you have described. 
You will get there...there just might be a further delay. Which is awful but I think it's about doing what you can in the meantime to keep yourself busy. Crying and feeling tired are fine - go for it. When the news has sunken in for you, I expect you'll start to feel a lot stronger and resourceful xx 

I've got a Skype call on Monday with my work team (sorry work family I'm gonna call them!) I'm so scared my manager is going to say he's got nothing for me to do. I must sound crazy. It's just amazing the people who really come forward for you during the worst time in someone's life. I'm so lucky to have a workplace like I do. When I'm sat in my managers office working out how I get back to my role/how I get back to normal, I swear I'm going to be so happy I'll probably just break down! 

Thank you so so much for your replies.

wise advice, and Im sorry to hear that you are in the so close but yet so far group. Id tried going back and had it all set for just over a month ago, I do support work for disabled uni students, and felt I was good to go, Id even asked if Id need a return to work interview etc. got no reply, so set stuff up with person who books my support slots. then bang, Occ health woman said it was too early to go back, and come back in a month, which would have been friday, since when Covid has gone ballistic. Im on steroids due to a rare autoimmune thing, along with rheumatoid and various arthritis problems. My trip to the specialist picked up from the one cancelled in December when I was having surgery. the plan needed folllowing up, so I went in to an isolated unit, just me and staff, all sanitised to the point where the test machine didnt work cos nurse sterilised it and unplugged it, then thought I had low oxygen stats cos it wasnt plugged in, and accused me of having sepsis...Anyway. beem signed off now since late october when I freaked waiting for biopsy results, surgery december, and ow Covid looming, so self isolating. My problem now is we have a lodger,. she kept having her bf round, I explained I keep my distance not out of rudeness but because they pose a risk to me. and they wash hands on entry then I sterilise the doorhandle where they came in.  Trouble is she has taken herself off to his flat this week and plans on coming back next weekend, and Id rather than she doesnt if husband and self are isolating for my protection, Husband has a gardening business and knows which gardens he can get to and out home again without contacting anyone. Its all of them bar one. Our cleaner who has been great heloing me when Ive been too frail to do chores understands, and I will carry on paying her despite it being impractical for her to keep coming. But should I tell the lodger that she must either come home and stay home, or stay at her bfs and stay in? Shes a language teacher, and working from home on insttructions of her home government who sponosr and pay her to work in this country., as schools are shut,  She got pulled out of school by her government instructions and sent home and  told to work from home. and we all know what happened to schools.  We had a second teacher, on a PGCE training course, and she has gone home to the otehr end of the country, her visa expires later this summer and she is freaking out cos she came to this country from abroad, with her son who is doing first year A levels, some five years ago, and she does not wish to return to her home country. She has been unable to finish her teaching course and is worried sick about what she can do. I felt harsh telling her to take all her stuff back to her home address, but realised this situation is not going  to fix itself any time soon. 

So tips and advice please, I probably know what Im going to say, but it feels harsh to say she will have to stay ati bfs, but Ive no idea what socialising and going out they have been doing, and its a big risk. cancer and steroids, and autoimmune probs,Feel  I just cant risk it.