Hi Denise1977,

Firstly - not a weird question at all. I can certainly understand this and how you're feeling.

It sounds positive that the tumours are shrinking. I'm not sure how long your course of chemotherapy is, but if you feel you're struggling with things then please make sure you discuss this with your consultant to get an idea of what's to come and to explain your dilemma. They will also be the person who's best placed to advise on your question.

I hope your husband is being supportive despite everything, and I'm sure it is a tough situation for both of you.

We're always here for you on this forum for any support you may like. Do make sure you talk to others about things and how you're feeling - whether that's friends or a family member, or us here on the forum.

Try to stick with it and take it day by day, and I hope things improve for you soon.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you for your reply .I am feeling really sad and down nobody wants help me.As I said my consultant is absolutely useless the same as a breast cancer nurse.When I have an oncology appt I just answer yes and no to the oncologist questions.I don't know how long I meant to have chemo,they didn't explain anything to me that's why I don't want ask them anything plus when I developed painful skin rash she didn't do anything about it and still pushed me for chemo.I had to go to GP to get a cream for it.I have nobody to talk to, I can't travel to see my family abroad because I have Picc line.Just had enough.

My husbamd is very nervous I think had enough of looking after me.I am physically ok but mentally really can't do this anymore.I was optimistic that even can be happy for few years but I can't do chemo for any longer.I hate the hospital environment.Somwtimes I wish it will be all over tomorrow.

Oh your post made me feel so sad. You really need to talk to someone, perhaps not your breast nurse.....as she doesn't sound engaging. Try the Macmillan helpline...

0808 808 00 00 7 days a week.....

you need to talk to someone.....please ring them.....xx

Hi Denise 

I am in a similar situation to you. I am 41 and have stage 4 cancer which has spread to my lymph nodes, bones and lungs. I also do not like my oncologist. I feel that she is always negative and never gives me an honest answer so I just answer yes or no to her questions and don't really listen to what she tells me. 

I feel that as I am considered palliative care they are not really bother about supporting me so I have asked to be referred to a specialist cancer hospital which is more research focused. I am hoping that they will be more positive and possibly give me the opportunity to go into a clinical trial.

If you are not happy where you are being treated you can ask to be referred to another hospital and you are entitled ask to be treated at any NHS hospital you choose. You can ask your GP to refer you so you won't have to speak to your oncologist. 

I understand completely how draining it is when you don't get the support you need and have come to realise that you have to push to get what you need. 

Do you have anyone that you feel you are able to speak to about how you are feeling? 

Georgina 

Hi Georgina thank you for your reply.I will ask for referral because I wasn't offered anything else except chemo and I see people beeing offered trials.

When I was diagnosed in May I was told by one if these doctors I am going to die anyway.So since then I honestly hate them.The only thing they can do is reading from the computer screen and book for chemotherapy. I am so jealous some people when I read they have doctors they care about them and we have to stuck with these uncaring ones because soon as you stage 4 they basically just waiting for you to die so they can get rid of 1 patient.I am sorry beeing so negative but with my oncologists it's so true.They should be called funeral directors.

I will try to get referred to xxx hospital in London they always do some research.

I feel the same and I have been shocked at the attitude. They can't tell me what type of cancer I have or where it started yet they still insist on spouting out average statistics which say I will be dead in a year. 

I have worked in medical research all my life and know that there is more avaliable than they are offering me which makes me more determined to push for it.

Good luck with your referal. I hope you have something positive to look forward to in the new year.

Feel free to vent your frustration at me any time you need to. 

Georgina 

Denise. 

I am sorry to hear what your going through. 

Never feel guilty or down we are all here for each other and to support each other. 

We do a lot for our homes. Husbands. Kids. Now we going through this you shouldn’t bad and hope hubby is supportive x

i have found out 12 days ago I have breast cancer. I had my lymph nodes removed in November still recovering.  It’s taken them over a year to find out I have cancer. My whole world has fallen apart. I’m shocked and in denial still. I have all this to go through yet and I’m dreading it. Loosing my hair. Side effects. I not got a plan for treatment in place still as going through more scans still. Just to let you know. There will be light after this dark tunnel.   Clouds  come and go. Hopefully this will too for all of us here. I hope pray 2020 is a better year for us all. Lots of good health ahead. Xxxx. 

please don’t give up life will I hope getceadier for you , and I hope a light atvebd of tunnel too , I’m recovering at moment after recent cancer sugery but mine was in my mouth , but needed Major sugery for removal of some of my tongue and nodes in neck , I cried for a solid few days but new I had to stay strong , my hubby was deverstated but he has been great although not greatcwith emotions and how to handle my outbursts , I feel a little useless too , but it is passing , love tonyou xxx

Hi Denise,

I am ina similar position to you, but I wondered is your cancer still triple negative? It has it changed? Are you on any other treatment apart from paclitaxol and when will you stop the paclitaxol, it seems you have been having it for a while.

kind regards 

Sarah