Struggling to complete adjuvant chemotherapy

Hi, I'm reaching out to anyone who has experienced this: I'm 45 years old, diagnosed in June with early stage invasive breast cancer, had lumpectomy in August, strongly advised to have chemotherapy after Oncotype DX results. Started chemotherapy early October and have reached  the half way stage but am having a massive wobble. Feel like I cannot continue with it. I have massive issues with the whole procedure, anything medical is a real challenge for me. I am a massive  over thinker and need to know the ins and outs of everything but having this knowledge makes me feel worse about the chemotherapy. Knowing what it is doing to my healthy cells is a devastating thought. But the worst part is not knowing if the chemo will have actually done any good. I always had doubts about going ahead with it because of the uncertainty of ever knowing if it has worked. But I managed to keep a lid on that doubt up until now. And now my head and my heart are shouting STOP! I've spoken to the specialist nurse who was amazing and reassuring and supportive. She suggested posting on a forum amongst other things. So I'm giving it a go. Ultimately I know there is only me who can make the decision but I Would really appreciate your views/experiences. 
thanks

C x

  • Hello,

    i also had adjuvant chemo...although I was early stages and they got clear margins my onco couldn't rule out stray cells....I had invasive ductal carcinoma...

    by my 4th cycle of fec my side effects were in danger of becoming permanent ...neuropathy being the worse one...my onco actually advised me to stop ( I didn't need persuading)! He said the 4 cycles would have stood me in good stead.....

    when is your next onco appointment? It's him/her you need to be talking to, they are the ones who are better placed to advise you...are you on fec all the way? Or swapping to T? Xx

  • I'm on EC for 6 cycles. Completed 3. I'm meeting my consultant a week on Tuesday to discuss my options. If 4 cycles is considered sufficient then I could probably push myself to that. If I can get control of my doubts about it all and get control of my anxiety too I might be able to soldier on. It's not the side effects it's my mind that's stopping me. I'm so sorry to hear you had such bad side effects. Hopefully my oncologist will be able to advise me the best course of action. Thank you for your response xx

  • Well done for reaching half way. I hit a brick wall half way I think it's probably very common. Your doing amazing. I kept a countdown and you had will do this. I found a inner strength to carry on I don't know how but I did. Wishing you lots of love and sending you some love. I found that doing a small walk every day and planning a little job to do kept my mind from thinking too much about what was going on around me. X

  • Thank you, it is reassuring to hear other people hit a wall half way through. I expected to feel positive at the half way mark but have found it to be the opposite so it is good to hear this is not uncommon. Having heard other people's experiences has helped me gather my thoughts and feelings about the situation and I now feel more at ease about seeing my oncologist to discuss my options. 
    I have been keeping busy (when I have the energy) I have horses so they are great motivation. Plus I love Christmas so I have been shopping online for that too. I was literally doing ok until 5 days after my 3rd treatment when I just cracked!!! Thank you for your kind and positive words xx

  • That's about the time I cracked up and couldn't see the end. Glad you are keeping busy with your horses and Xmas. The end is getting nearer every day. Take care and stay strong x

  • Hi

    I hit a wall half way through my chemo, thought I can't do this. Like you started to question what it was doing to the good things in my body and whether I'd made the right decision to do it in the first place. It sounds like it's quite common to have wobbly bits as you are going through treatment. (btw I also had the same wobble at the end of chemo as well).

    You've done amazing to get to the half way point, try and look at how far you've come. You are closer to the end of it than the beginning. I hope you can come to the right decision for you.

    take care

    x

  • Hi Caroline, I had a similar wobble after my third chemo.  Having my fifth one this week and feeling a bit better now that I can see the end. Do you have a Maggie’s centre nearby? I did a relaxation class & the look good feel better class today and feel like they’ve given me a bit of a boost to get through the last two treatments.  Hang in there, you’re already halfway through.  All the best, S

  • Hi , I had a right hemi colectomy for stage two colon cancer the end of October and it has been advised that I have adjuvant chemotherapy in the form of 5FU IV weekly by 30 weeks . I am finding myself considering not having it as in the pandemic setting the thought of another 8 months in probably quite restricted protecliving due to risk of infection overwhelming . I would love to be taking the vaccine and moving on with my life . Seemingly  there is a small percentage of my type of cancer cell that could grow elsewhere in my body which would be difficult to treat . The vast percentage of people do t actually need  this chemo but they can't tell which group anyone falls in to . I had to decide yes or no on the back ground of the group oncology recommendation . That is long winded and probably reflects my uneasy mind . I am most afraid of my hair thinning or falling out as I always had a thing about my already thin hair . Has anyone here gone through 5FU chemo for colon cancer and if so how did they feel and manage on it symptom and emotionally as it's a long haul ?

    Thanks

    Mary

  • Hi Mary,

    Firstly I hope you, and all others on this thread are well.

    I too have just undergone surgery for colon cancer and am blessed to have been told that the histology showed no spread to lymph nodes or surrounding tissues, so stage 2. It was however an aggressive cancer, so I am due to have adjuvant chemo, though don't know at this stage what that looks like in terms of duration and drug. 
     

    I wondered if you went ahead with yours and if so, what the experience has been like so far? I was surprised to read you were facing 8 months worth of treatment, it's understandable you were daunted by such a long course of treatment. 

  • Hi rubberduck.

    I'm also in a very similar situation as your self and wondered how you was getting on?

    I had a resection in August and was told I'm stage 2 but my cancer was moderate, and was advised I wouldn't really need chemo as they said it wouldn't benefit me much, I chose against this advise and opted for chemo because of the worry of recurrence, I'm two days into my first cycle of capebentine tablets and so far I feel ok just not sure if I should go the full 8 cycles incase I do unnecessary permanent damage.

    I hope your doing well and just wanted your opinion.

    Thanks

    Gary.