I can't believe this is happening and i don't know how to feel..and if im feeling anything if its the right feelings i should have.
im 39 my partner is 62 and has prostrate cancer. i have two boys with him and he has other older children both boys and girls. To date the cancer has not spread so it is contained in the prostrate. He is due to have it removed the middle of June and since finding out about all this im suffering with anxiety.
heres the terrible feeling bit - of course i want the cancer gone but ive always wanted another child and now i feel robbed...the fact that once removed i can't have anymore or even think about it. i feel so selfish. and people reading this will say that i am. but like i said i honestly don'y know how to feel.
he is very stubborn and very set in his ways so i know that i can't even bring up the subject. i doubt the subject of saving sperm will even go down well.
we have been togther for over 20 years, not married.
He doesnt talk about it (cancer and the surgery) and when i try to he changes the subject. Ive read all the documenation that was given to him when we found out but he won't read it. says it depresses him which is understandable. but having read the stuff i know we are faced with. I say WE but he acts as though its just him going through this. he doesnt want to know what will happen (he's got the general idea) but he says he'd rather deal with stuff as he approaches them.
sorry ive rambled abit. im not sure what responses i am likely to get...if any. but i just had to write something somewhere.
maybe i need someone to say "you already have two kids you selfish cow" I don't know...i really don't know but i can't help the way im feeling because i don't know how to feel
