Hi snowdear

ive had a similar experience - won’t go into detail, but I just decided I was better off keeping my communication with the team I was assigned to a minimum. Language is everything, unfortunately I some feel cancer staff have lost that skill. I was given a leaflet by McMillan called ‘living with cancer’ I handed it straight back as post surgery I’m not living with cancer. I was also told that I will become “a new you” - well I like the old one thanks and I’m staying with that. Honesty it was dire.

I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer in 2017 . and had 6 rounds of chemo.  on my very first visit to chemo clinic i asked if i could use the cold cap . the nurse tutted at me and said great now I've got to switch it on for half an hour before its cold enough.  when she applied the cold cap she didn't put it on properly and i spent 4 hours with ice falling down my back . she was just so not bothered i tried to explain because it was my first visit i had no idea i was supposed to let them know in advance i wanted to use it . i later was told you have to wet your hair first before the cap is fitted but she didn't tell me that , so i lost all my hair after the first visit, i felt so let down . a little bit of compassion would have gone a long way. 

That’s shocking and I’m so sorry that happened to you. we come in to a foreign environment and they expect us to know everything. I had no idea from one day to the next what was going on. I’ve been given more information entering a theme park.

Hi I had to go for a biopsy the nurse who did it told me that it was cancer, then put me in a room to wait for a specialist. She said I'm sorry but it's cancer I said I already know the one who did biopsy told me, she apologised went out and played hell with the first nurse she wasn't supposed to tell me. 

Billy 

Oh that makes me sad....I need chemo soon and hope to goodness I don't have your experience, as if all this isn't enough?? Mentally we go through hell....

can I ask you how you feel now after chemo? Are there any tips you can give me? Xxx

So sorry to read this....what a horrible experience. 

I too am a firm believer in the positive mindset....i hope your doing as well as you can be ....xxx

Yes, I've been told I will be a new different me! I felt quite bewildered by that particular little gem...as like you....I am very happy with me as I am.....

another one is....I think being bald might suit you......really???????

xxx

I can’t stand this type of language, I must admit that little gem came from a cancer charity nurse. The cynic in me thinks it aids their charity if we are caught in this perpetual mindset of cancer never leaving us. 

It’s one of the reasons I stayed away from their alternative health sessions and counselling service. I got to the point of asking everyone keen to give me advice whether they’ve had cancer - none had so they were told politely to keep their opinions to themselves. This is why I like this forum so much, everyone been there, done that ....

About your hair mine was straight before kemo after it's nice and curly, p.s most of it did fall out but its not permanent.

This one will make you titter, I have literally had an e mail from a friend who lives in Spain. I do realise she is trying to be nice but she has just asked me if I would like to go out to Spain " for some sun" once I have started chemo....yes....you read that right! Like sitting in the sun ( which I am supposed to avoid) in between chemo cycles will do me good.....God...I am terrified of the thought of shopping during chemo, let alone getting on a plane! 

xxx