Hi Chelbel,

[@Chriss]‍  has said it all really.  I've cried twice since being diagnosed. I'm not someone who cries about things happening to me, but I really struggle not to cry if someone else is crying and that happened when telling family.  The thought of leaving my husband does terrify me, I'm not remotely ready for that yet, but what terrifies me more is the thought of not enjoying the time that I do have with him.

Everyone's different but, for me, my mental illness is a tougher fight than the cancer and that fight has given me some of the skills I need for this one.  I lost so much of my life to mental illness that just being capable of enjoying life now is something that I will fight tooth and nail to retain.  I've still had all the emotions, same as everyone else but maybe I bounce back from them a bit quicker? I don't know.  I have found everyone on here incredibly strong and have no doubt you will be too.

Of course it could also be that I'm just a stubborn old c*w :D  The cancer can destroy my body but I'll be darned if I'm letting it destroy my life, I'm having as much fun as I can while I can.

LJxx

You have such an amazing outlook and if worse comes to worse (I really hope it doesn’t, hope that doesn’t sound selfish) I really hope I get over the shock and have the same outlook as you. 

I have been speaking to others on here and the hope and fight is amazing. I pray I have that in me and I pray my children have it too.

Thank you xxxx 

It is true you are amazing and a real example to us all.

I have advanced BC because it is in my chest wall and skin. My scans showed it hasn't spread but it seems things change so quickly.

I am now waiting for an appointment with the oncologist. I thought I was seeing my specialist on 15th but after the team meeting yesterday the oncologist wants to see me. I suppose it will give me more idea what I am up against. I thought I was just taking Anastrazole for 9 months then a mastectomy. 

Just have to wait and see now.

I realise that each case is different and they adjust treatment.

xx

I am so sorry to hear your news. I can only echo everybody else in saying what a brave and inspirational person you are! Your never ending optimism and support for the rest of us is truly amazing and NEVER annoying! Sending hugs. 

C x

I thought I had replied to you but it seems to have disappeared.

you are amazing and a real inspiration to us all.

If anyone can beat this you can.

best wishes xx

Oh Twin Two,

Not again – there cannot be many more curved balls for you to catch!

As usual you seem to be accepting this so bravely and are still up for fighting this all the way.

Needless to say, we are all right here with you, so let battle commence!

I am so glad to hear that your work are still being supportive, but am not at all surprised that they do not want to see someone with your spirit and work ethic stop working there.

Thinking of you and, as Chrissie would say, we are all ready to put on those boxing gloves and get right in the ring with you.

Jolamine xx

Just popping by to say "hello" and wondering how you and your twin sister are coping. Just want you to know you are in the thoughts of people here and we would and will do anything at all that might help you.  You don't have to reply to this by the way - it is just a passing "hi there".  Annie

I’m so sorry about your news. 

You were one of the first to respond to me when I was in a very dark place of diagnosis and you gave me kind words and reassurance and I see you do that for so many on here, you’re an inspiration. 

Im in hospital at the moment having had my stomach removed and the lady in bed next to me was diagnosed with a rare stomach cancer that doesn’t respond to chemo, she was stage 4 and terminal 5 years ago and daily medication was prescribed, she’s been cancer free until recently but now in a position to be operated on and a new drug has been developed in the meantime. She’s 72 and so lovely and gentle and it gives me hope for us all.

I do hate it when people say, oh you’ll be fine, you’ll beat it so I hope I don’t come across that way, no one has a crystal ball but my way of coping is that, cancer or not no one knows how the future will play out so we’ve got to live the best we can and be as contented as we can whilst hopefully touching the lives of our loved ones and people in need as often as we can, I think you are wonderful always there offering comfort or experience, just know that you’ve made a difference to me personally and many others. 

You have an army of well wishers behind you, I pray that your next treatment is successful. Sending you lots of love, light and positivity xx

Thanks Annieliz,

We're doing alright.  Had the CT scan today and it's confirmed cancer in 3 new lymph nodes (two supraclavicular and one near the chest wall).  So biopsy has been cancelled and the rush now is for an MRI to check there's no organ involvement.

Either way looks very likely radiotherapy will be cancelled with a view to trying to get chemotherapy started as soon as we can.

Been feeling great since last chemo finished and still no symptoms from any actual cancer, have managed to not even catch a cold this winter so far (while living with people with colds!) so I feel great which definitely helps.

LJx

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you're in hospital.  What you're going through sounds awful :(  but it looks like you've got a great attitude towards it all.

So true that we can be around for a long time even with stage 4, was reading a blog this afternoon by a woman who was diagnosed stage 4 I think over 10 years ago.  I mean technically it's still curable even, and I guess the benefits of what's happening now is that, for the first time, my medication will actually be targeted.  So I'll have Tamoxifen, Herceptin and Platinum chemo.  Whereas up til now I've only have FEC-T chemo and that's essentially a "fire stuff at it and hope for the best" relative to the stuff I'll be getting now.  It's mostly just a bummer that it's going to be a year of chemo, really got to hope I don't get too many side effects then or that they at least ease off a lot over the year.

Thanks for your kind words, and you definitely don't come across in a "you'll be fine" way, but of course factually I could end up being fine, it is such a guessing game as you clearly realise.  I really do feel for my oncologist, he just sounded so downbeat when he phoned me, poor soul, I could not do that job!

Another good thing is there's lots of research underway into Platinum chemo that is looking promising.  So they already have 3 (?) drugs, but there are lots more in the pipeline.  For all the "big bad pharma" stuff we hear, there is a lot to be grateful to them for.

Going to pop off to bed now I think, work tomorrow.

Hope things go well with your recovery from surgery and that hospital isn't proving to be too bad an experience.

LJx