Hi guys, 

I think this is the hardest post I'll ever write on here, since my hysterectomy november last year, I have felt sort empty and being quite young too (24) I felt like my life was ruined and in all honesty still do. I have lost my partner because I cannot carry my children which still breaks my heart. I thought he was the one who would stand by me through anything. Everytime I see a pregnant woman or a baby I have to fight back the tears. I can use a surrogate but I just feel like kinda useless. I've always dreamed of a family, a loving, understanding husband, and two beautiful children but of what I've seen it costs so much for surrogacy, I would struggle to do it once let alone twice, right now this seems a million miles away and it can never happen. My previous partner has arised a feeling in me that no man will ever want me like this, that I will never be happy. Part of me knows this isnt true but I feel it nonetheless. I'm still soildering on, I look on the brightside as much as I can but when it comes to my 'happy' future... I just dont see one. I've also got my first scan after finsihing treatment coming up in october and I'm scared. I don't really know what im asking for, maybe someone thats been through the same? Will these feeling's ever go away or anyone have any advice on how to get through this? 

Bex xx