Hay Nikki... think your trying to be super woman ... l think I'm pretty dam tough , but I've had times when l just shut myself away and don't want to come out, and if it wasn't for others on here, I'm sure I'd still be there in a little ball ... and in 63 ... 

You need to give your heart permission to grieve for a life that's changed some what ... now you stop and think of just how far you have come ... that takes strength... you did that ... look in the mirror and say , lve come this blxxxy far , I'm not giving up now ... and just think of not doing any of that ... what's the alternative ... yes your young but you still have a life ... you are still you ... I've just got a line where my boob used to be, and you know it tells me just how hard this journey is, and how far I've come ...

So yes, feel down , if you wanna scream, do it... if you wanna cry, do it ... give your self permission and know your just being human ... then after you get it out, you stand back up, look cancer square in the eyes, and get a pair of boxing gloves on... and you get in the boxing ring with it, and every punch it gives you, you punch it strait back ... you can do this ... there's lots of us Brest lasses on here ... [@rileyroo]‍, [@Sandra123]‍, [@Jbains]‍, and two younger ones [@Cornishpastie]‍, and [@Warriorqueen]‍. 

Wer all there with you in that boxing ring ... we can kick cancers butt .. together ... coz cancer wants you to give up .. stay down ... you show it, you won't do that ... no matter how you feel, wer here if needed .. 

Sending you a positive vertual hug ... Chrissy

When l was at my lowest and couldn't get back up , someone wrote to me on here and sent me this ..

The devel whispered in my ear ... your not strong enough to weather this storm ... l whispered in the devils ear ... I AM THE STORM ... 

That made me want to get up and look it in the eye again ...  x

Hey Nikki

It's important to be open about how you feel and there is nothing weak about it. You've been dealt a blow at 25 that you shouldn't have to think about much less deal with. Heck in 48 and it's a real bummer. 

You've just finished gruelling chemo treatment which I thankfully have not had to have. I can't imagine how hard that has been for you. And it will have left you low physically and emotionally. 

Now you are facing a further change with your upcoming surgery when you haven't had a chance to get over the chemo yet. I just wonder whether you've been offered or thought about having the psychotherapy they offer in the bc services. It won't change the planned surgery but it will help you to explore and understand your own feelings in a safe environment. Just a thought.

We are here for you if you need or want us...take care of you hun xxx