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Need so advice

Debb
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I was on here abit ago finding it hard to cope with my diagnosis of a brain tumour even though my latest scan last june shows no change it can be hard and stressfull to live with . I made the decision to not tell my family just my partner,  which has been hard . I think it might be time to let my family know but my kids are all grown up but im worried about my eldest son who struggles in life he has only resent come out of prison and has been diagnosed with BPD and finds it hard to cope with things . My other children will probably beable to cope with my illness but im putting off telling them because I am afraid of how my son will take the news he lost his family and only has limited access to his 2 children so hes struggling at the moment and just dont want to give him extra stress. Any advice would be gratefully appropriated . My partner is a person that dose not talk and just says everything will be ok dont worry but im getting where I need to talk and confront this and its hard to do on your own .

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    Hi Debb

    For what it's worth, I think it's usually best to tell all one's friends and family in a situation like this. 

    Something like this will always come out at some point, and your family will then feel aggrieved that you didn't tell them earlier.  While your condition is stable (and long may it continue), now is the time to tell them all. 

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    Hello Deb.  Life is so difficult at times and I do feel for you.  But telemando is right - I think you would feel aggrieved if a member of your close family hid such information from yourself.  You probably feel that as a mother it is your duty to shield your children from problems.  Even when they are grown up.    Perhaps at the same time as  you tell your son he could access some counselling to help get through the issues in his life, including your tumour diagnosis.    If you cannot persuade your partner to talk (and I know all relationships are unique) you could perhaps mention to him that you need to talk and could perhaps be considering counselling yourself if as you say you are finding a need to confront your illness.  I know it is easy for us to propose solutions when we really know nothing of your family relationships.  I have just stomped into your family set-up with no prior knowledge so it is of course up to you which path to take. 

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