Hello there, I also have stage 4 cancer. It was not in my bones at last look, but throughout both lungs and it was in my liver. Mine appears to be "dormant" too at present, and my next scan is booked for late January. I understand so much of what you're feeling, and there is nothing that anyone can say or do really to make it better for me. But, with considerable support from my local hospice, my councellor at my GP's and my family and friends, I am learning to live with this disease. Waiting for the scans is always horrible, but originally they weren't going to continue scanning me at all because they were planning to treat my symptoms only. They have since changed their minds (showing how things can change) and, far from being abandoned, I feel supported and listened to.

For me, NOT having scans and not knowing what's going on would be much more horrendous. So, although I hate the waiting, it gives me the info that I crave in order to plan and move forward. That's one positive I draw from the experience.

I feel for you so much, and I shall be waiting for results myself again soon. In the meantime, while you're waiting maybe some mindfulness might help? Mindfulness has taught me to (try to - cos I'm not very good at it yet) live in the moment. No past, no future to worry about, just right now. That sometimes helps when I feel the rising panic.

And, talk to me if you like. I'm not always here but I usually check my emails daily.

Wishing you all the very best for the New Year. You never know, it might bring you some good surprises too x