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My Grandad

ella_d
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My grandad has had lung and bowel cancer for sooo many years now and he is still alive, he has been through chemotherapy many times and the side effect are awful. His memory is really bad in fact sometimes he forgets my names . The other day he asked me a question that he has already asked like 6x. He has now recently been diagnosed with brain cancer. Doctors have said that he cant handle chemotherapy anymore so he has to go through radiotherapy. I have checked online and the symptoms are literally making me cry. It says online that survival rates are quite low for a person like my grandad. He has eye vision problems that sometimes his eyes swell up and sagg down. My parents dont know that i know he has brain cancer and i just cant bear the thought of him leaving me esspecially because my grandma died like 1 and a half years ago because of kidney failure. I literally cry alone at night thinking about my grandad. How long do you think he can survive with 3 cancers and chemotherapy as well as memory loss and radiotherapy and allll otherrr problems?

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    Hi there Ella... oh my, bless ya... I can see just how worried you are ... try to talk with your mum or dad and tell them how you feel, or even write them a letter ... they may not have talked to you about it, to protect you, so you don't worry... but I've found gentle honesty is so needed, with young ones ... so maybe telling them you know and need to feel included ... 

    I have cancer, and my grandkids knew and they were amazing... young ones are braver then we think ... but as you know your grandad sounds very poorly, and may need you to be strong for him... he will forget things and all you have to do, is go with him, and if that means repeating things, that's o.k ... try not to say, I've already told you , or you've already said that, as that tends to confuse them ... please try to take one day at a time... and you know, those feelings your having is quite normal ... it's so hard to see someone we love, so poorly ...

    If you can't talk to mum or dad, have you someone you can trust, like a good auntie, or uncle, or older brother or sister ... but please don't hold it in ... let us know how you go ... sending you a big hug ... Chrissie xx 

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thanks Chrissie...Honestly im so thankful for your reply... I was feeling so low today but reading your message has cheered me up massively...I spent some time with my grandad today...Just hope i can spend christmas with him. Its makes me so happy to know that the cancer research acctually does these forums. I wasnt aware of this forum where you can share your feelings openly and have people who dont even know you, make you so happy. 

    Thank you sooo much! Ella xxx

  • Offline in reply to ella_d

    Hi Ella.  I know it is not my business but I wonder how old you are and how old your grandad is.  I was fourteen when my grandad (my mum's parents) died and he was in his 70s - I was very sad because he used to tell me silly stories when I was young; he lived nearby - unlike my dad's parents who lived a long way away and died when I was even younger.  Grandparents are great - they haven't got the responsibility of parenting and they can spoil you rotten.   He died suddenly from a heart attack which was probably the easiest way for him to go as he had no prolonged suffering.  Do talk to your parents so you can share with the care he needs and you all share your sadness.  Do  also - if you wish - let us know how things are going.

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Hi 

    I am 14 and my grandad (dads dad) is in his 70s. As i said earlier on, my grandma (dads mum) died in March 2015 due to kidney failure as she was only living with one kidney. She had severe breathing problems - she had to wear this tube that went up her nose connected to an oxygen tube that provided her with oxygen. She was on that tube 24/7 . She died 2 weeks after my birthday but im glad she went because the pain she was going through was unbearable to see - atleast she is in a better place now with no suffering . Now, because my grandma died because of health problems i feel more upset. I just wish cancer didnt exist..

  • Offline in reply to ella_d

    Hi there Ella... so glad it helped a little ...you will have up and down days , but I'm on here most days, until Sunday as I'm off on holiday till new year ... but however your feeling you can put on here ... please let me know if you can talk to mum or dad and if it went well ...

    You pack lovely memories in to  every day you have with your wonderfull grandad... I bet he has some memories of when he was young , he'd like to share ... or how he met your nan ... look through albums ... you will make any time he has loving memories... the picture I have is my amazing granddaughter Emily... we laugh all the time .. we adore each other ... so I'm packing in good memories so she can look back with smiles ... I've made her a little memorie book, since she was 1 ... every funny loving time we spent ... coz it would break my heart if she cried when thinking of me ... 

    A saying I live by is ... don't cry because you loose someone... smile because you were blessed to have had them in your life ... your grandad will be so proud of you ... sending you a big hug brave lass ... Chrissie xx

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