Hi Billy,

I just wondered. We looked after my mother-in-law, who had dementia. She was bedbound for the last 3 years. Initially my 97 year old father-in-law cared for her and did everything himself. It took quite some time and a decline in his health before he would agree to anyone else coming in. He wouldn't even let us do her washing.

When we finally got carers coming in 3 times a day this made all the difference to both of them. Before they started the social worker arranged for a hospital bed and other accoutrements to be delivered. They lived in a one-bedroom sheltered pensioner's flat, so this took up most of the living room. My poor father-in-law was banished to the bedroom when the carers were in.

I'm keep well so far thanks. Hope you too are doing as well as can be expected.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I'm A bit the same looking after bren. I made A promise to bren before she'd marry me. She's nearly 14years older than me. My promise was I'd look after her when she got old. I do changing, dressing, washing, food, plus housework. If i get really ill I've got a carer plan in place. Bren doesn't like anyone else doing anything for her but me so I'm sticking to my promise as long as i can. We manage quite well actually got into a routine. After five years just the odd things now and again......

Billy xx 

Hi Billy,

You sound so like my father-in-law. My in-laws were maried for 80 years. They went everywhere and did everything together and there was a great rapport between them.

I sincerely hope that you don't get really ill while you are looking after Bren - Just you continue to beat the odds!

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi jolamine, like your in-laws from first meating we have been together as much as possible. Bren has been in hospital couple of times over the years and i was always there as soon as possible and left as late as possible. First day told to go out because they Had to do something. Then they realised I'd been doing everything for her for years (didn't realise till later bren told them she wanted me to do things) nurse just brought things and i did it, tablets, food, toilet, washing, it gave nurse spare time with worse patients. Bren didn't like bed pan so i brought our wheelchair to take bren to toilet and back. Brens hands and arms don't work properly she can't hold utensils properly. Been like it for years so I've been feeding her.. Was going to get back to you last night then bren wanted supper. Shouldn't really she's put on weight,, but did something light (steamed fish) normally in bed for 21.00 then I'm up about 06.00 getting things ready, tablets, drink, breakfast. for all of us. Wish i could lay in its time i usto get up for work hard habit to break after nearly 50 years. Any way I'm talking to much, lovely to talk now and again. Like you said day to day and keep going.....

Love.. Billy xxx 

Hi Billy,

My father-in-law was the same as you. He was up at 5.00am every day for his work and continued this right to the end. He was 97 by then. He didn't go to bed till after midnight, as he usually got an hour or so on his computer before he went to bed. He was then woken up a few times throughout the night to take his wife to the toilet or stop her from wandering. When she became bed bound, she had various fixations that he had to try and quell. She lived on Ensure drinks and build up puddings for the last year, but he had to coax her to eat or drink.

Never worry about not getting back to me immediately. I fully understand the demand of Bren's condition and the calls that it places on you. I cannot always reply immediately either, as my hubby has heart failure. He had a quadruple by-pass 12 years ago, had a stroke and pneumonia after that and was then diagnosed with heart failure last year.

It's just as well that we never know what lies ahead of us, isn't it?

It's lovely to talk to you too. Here's hoping that all continues to go well for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Dizzel 

been off here for a little while and very saddened to read your posts. 
 

well it's been a little while since your last post so please please let us know how you are and if your did go to your gp. 
 

sitting here worrying about you so just a short note will do lass x

Hi Billy 

sorry been off here for a little while. Hope Bella is on the mend ️. Great to hear about the hoists ( it's the little things eh).

hows you yourself keeping.... hope no flooding your way... don't want to see you floating off ;)

Aw jolamine lovely to hear from you as alway. You were the 1st to respond to me on my 1st ever post. Now as then your posts are always a spirit lifter. ️

Hi Sandra still plodding on Bella seems slightly better already. So sorry you lost your brother, sounded like a lovely send off. Hope you're OK. Love Billy xxx