I joined this forum last night and posted a topic 'Lumpectomy or mascectomy'

I was encouraged to read this thread which I'm making my way through now... There's a lot to read. 

Whilst reading I smiled at the good but found myself bursting in to tears too. I feel vulnerable and scared and denying it is getting harder and harder. I feel quite alone with it all but that's because I'm not reaching out. Not wanting to make a 'thing' out of it.

Im really early stages but have three family members that have had the same as me. Two have passed away and my mum, who originally had a lumpectomy ended up needing a double mastectomy and chemo which mealy killed and they had to stop the treatment when she went on to a coma. She's OK now thank god.

My experience of this disease are all quite full on and horrendous so it's refreshing to read some positive stuff.

Im scared.. That's a fact. Scared of the unknown I guess.?

Bad: this disease is crap

Good: I'm off to Thailand on the 16th April to spend a month with my daughter who's a diving instructor and lives in Koh Tao. It's beautiful there and she's my world. 

One love ladies. So glad I joined this forum

Hey Dizzle- a wedding is a paper. The true commitment is in the heart and Jamie is committed and so are you therefore that's marriage. You've now got a miracle bump to cement that commitment further - to me these are the most important reality factors. Who is to say you won't have your dream wedding? It will one day. You've come a long way - on your own - which is admirable and we are very proud of you.

Hey Ms May. This forum is a godsend. We are all here to support. One thing I've learned is everyone reacts differently to every stage of this journey. One day at a time and big virtual hug. I also have 2 members of immediate family with cancer but we've all reacted differently with breast cancer. Science and research has advanced so much and more and more people are surviving so hang in there. You got this.

Ladies hope all is well and enjoy your day.

Lonelygirl,

just picked this up, my heart goes out to you. Reading through your post I feel in the last paragraph you answered your own question....if you went into work ( even if you had tasks to do) your mind would be back in that hospital room.....take a deep breath and listen to what your gut is telling you.... I feel you already know.....xxxxxx

Morning :)

lovely bunny breakfast for your little ones :love:

good...sunshine and family time :D

bad.....none :)

happy sunday xxx

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Hi lonelygirl

im so sorry to hear your sad news x

I can’t advise you but having been in the same situation with both my parents I followed my heart and spent every moment with them until the end came for them. I feel your pain and send you love at this very sad time for you xxx

Morning peeps 

pippin -flowers.... always put a beaming smile on my face:)

bad :- none

good:- thats it all me spring c*** .... erm ... I mean lovingly created spring items are up.... gotta admit chuffed t bit with em ️ 

Have as good a day as u can peeps x

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So cute! Congratulations Cornish!!! X 

Awww Sandra ... ‘‘tis all so lovely :love:

what a beautiful spring and Easter tree and all the gorgeous spring ornaments, very artistic, love the little nest and the pocket watch ....and the bunnies :)

your little girls will be in awe of it won’t they x

good....beautiful day, celebrated friend’s birthday ......cake and fizz :D

bad.......none

hope a good day was had by all

xxx

Aw... ta muchly :-)

I love how it looks but... for me it was how enjoyable and relaxing it was making everything. The pocket watches are heirlooms ..... not ha ha.... £2 each off eBay heh heh. 

Got a a bit freaked last night cos could hear a ticking sound.... yup the blinking watches... would have thought for price they wouldn’t work but they blinking do :D

oooh cake and fizz all with good friends... perfection.

go u girl ... enjoy every min ️

Morning peeps 

bad :- the on line pattern I was using t knit girls jumpers has disappeared... sigh. Luckily I knit 1 st jumper in a couple of days nd got side tracked so didn’t start other. Found anther pattern so will start 2 nd jumper today. Alls well I guess

good :- well not needed for child care today so not gonna lie.... I’m still in bed lol. A while since had lie in cos up early st weekends too.... gonna enjoy. Heck think I’ll make this a duvet day.... with bit of knitting, bit of reading nd bit of wine.....sometimes a devil may care Day is living the dream lol.

have as good a day as u can peeps ️ X

Afternoon peeps 

bad none yay

good :- life ..... life is good

hope u have had as good a day as u can peeps ️

Evening ladies hope everyone is as good as they can be. 

It had taken me a good few days to get my head round my results again definitely feel like I went back a year which in a way is quite funny as is exactly a year on Friday that I found my first breast lump! Where has the time gone. Anyway had a good walk today which cleared my head! 10 and a half miles to be exact! Feel better for it! 

Hugs to you all x 

Evening ladies hope everyone is as good as they can be. 

It had taken me a good few days to get my head round my results again definitely feel like I went back a year which in a way is quite funny as is exactly a year on Friday that I found my first breast lump! Where has the time gone. Anyway had a good walk today which cleared my head! 10 and a half miles to be exact! Feel better for it! 

Hugs to you all x 

Hi ladies.....Well yesterday was my first annual mammogram. Feel fine about it and my middle name is positivity!

So  today there is no bad and only super good. Yesterday before hospital my eldest daughter took me in to central London for a surprise. Well we went for a manicure in john Lewis. To cut a long story short this was all part of a huge staged set up between my daughter and heart fm breakfast team. Apparently Maxine had nominated me for a special mothers day treat and heart fm chose me after hearing about mine and my partners year. Jamie theakston and a film crew turned up and I was given loads of luxury gifts and shopping vouchers. Apparently Maxine, my second daughter Mel and my partner Lee were all interviewed live by Jamie theakston this week every morning while I was at work. I'm totally overwhelmed by it all. I feel like the most loved person right now.

Morning ladies

Cornish what a massively lovely surprise for you. You are lucky to have such a lovely family and you are truly deserving of all of it. That made me smile reading that this morning :-)

Good: had midwife yesterday. All is still fine then met my little sister for her birthday lunch....the only member of my family I still talk to so that was nice although she did let slip she was having a family meal out which I obviously haven't been invited to. I'm guessing she doesnt want any awkwardness as noone installing to me. How dare I get cancer and get pregnant. I'm so selfish lol. Still baffles me as to exactly what it is I've done wrong. Guess I will never know!

Bad...... probably some of the above. Oh and start full time work on Monday, although in a way it's getting back to normality I'm so used to being at home now its gonna take some getting used to. Isn't long before I go on maternity though lol.

Have a lovely day everyone 

Dizzle xx

Congratulations Cornish on winning it!! You so deserve it after the year you have had! So lovely to hear people we know winning things like this! 

Your a star in your own right!! Enjoy!! X 

Wow Cornish how wonderful. That brought a few tears to my eyes!

Bad - had another recall to the hospital on Tuesday because of abnormal ECG. Again had to stop taking the pills. Hospital ECG was normal so going back on the pills, I expect this will happen every two weeks. There is so much protocol involved with these wretched tablets but if they save my life so be it.

Good - the sun is shining and it is a beautiful day.

Hey ladies hope you're all doing well.

Cornish that is really lovely surprise! So happy for you after the difficult time you've been having.

Dizzle - you're not alone. None of my family gives a damn so I've just totally let go. Don't let it effect you - I know it's hard but we all reach a point where all we concentrate on is those who love us and ourselves. You and baby are what's important so if your family can't see that then in afraid - their loss. Like you I tried with mine and was analysing what have I done wrong, etc. But it's not going to change the situation so why stress myself? I've just stopped giving as much of a damn as I used to. I'm here, I'm alive and will make so sure I enjoy the rest of my time here on earth. I don't want negativity so have just cut those out of my life- including my sister's. You're going to have your own little family and the thought process should not go beyond that. Sorry for essay but caring too much just ruins the health. So chuffed for you all is well with baby. Just take it easy.

Enjoy your day ladies.

Well Cornish

What a fabulous and thoughtful surprise. I doubt my two kids will even remember it’s mothers day. Lol. But no matter they make it up a 1000 fold in other ways. 

Sundial

Can I have your autograph... lol ... wow COURNISH would have loved to have seen your face .... couldn't happen to a nicer person ... your one of those angels sent here to make a difference ...

Fingers crossed for Lee ... he couldn't be in better hands

Now the icing on the cake ... apart from your wonderful new grandson.... is to get good results from mamorgrams. . Big vertual hug ... Chrissie xx

Hi jbains ...

Couldn't agree more .. we've all been through too much to worry bout those who have a problem ... the good thing about cancer is we sure find out those who don't really matter in our lives ... 

That old saying .. change what you can change (we've all tried)   accept what you can't change ... and the wisdom to know the difference ... for everyone I've lost in my life, there's 10 on here to replace them ... wer a vertual family ... one that really cares and will be here no mater what .. 

And Dizzle .... that new baby that's half way here ... well wer all part of his little new family ... him and his amazing mum will find lots of love on here ...  and they won't get to know that wonderfull new life ... so it's deff their loss ... 

Big hug to all this big growing vertual family sandra123 is creating every day ...