We will have to face this together Lorna. I find some days good and some bad. Last weekend we went to Centreparks with the family for our 50th wedding anniversary and I was in total shock. Beginning to come to terms with it now but still very scared. Will be glad when next Thursday is over and I know what I am dealing with. The specialist was quite vague at our last meeting talking about an op but waiting to get results of MRI and CT scans first. 

How u are feeling is how we all felt dragonfly...you are doing the right things ...distraction and family time ️. 

My process sounds the same 1 st meeting for formal result of biopsy. Then scans - wk later results of scans and treatment plan. The waiting is the pits though ain’t it x

Sandra - it is rubbish isnt it?

Just been to see my 98 year old mother who has dementia. She broke a bone in her little toe but seems oblivious and still walking around. It is a bit of a joke as my dad died in the summer at 97 and people always said I had good genes. Lets hope they help now. 

I know I shouldnt really but been looking up inflammatory breast cancer again and it is scary stuff.

Hi Dragonfly ( cool name)

In the early days my gp gave me diazepam as I was completely freaking out. I had lots of other issues prior to my diagnosis which I won’t go into. I took them for about two weeks. I only took one a day of the six I could take. They helped straight away to calm my brain because I just couldn’t switch off. After two weeks another gp wanted to put me on anti depressants but I refused. I just kept a pack if diazepam in the cupboard and that was enough. They are still there complete. It’s up to your gp if course but I just explained how I was feeling and he was very good. Incidentally three different gps at my surgery misdiagnosed the abnormal bleeding I was having before an out of hours doctor put in a request for them to fill in a two week referral. I had endometrial cancer and the symptoms had been going on for eighteen months! But what’s the point of complaining? I mentioned it to one of them and he had written something completely fpdifferent in my notes to what I had told him was happening.  Well it’s all water under the bridge now. 

Sundial

Yes genes have a lot to do with it but so does tenacity... your mum obviously has oodles... we could all do with taking a leaf out of her book bless her heart.

It’s ok to look up your specific disease just make sure you use legitimate websites.... like this one.

Me.... I steered clear. I wanted all my answers to come from my consultant who had my notes, my results and discussed all findings with the multidisciplinary team ( looking at it from all angles based on me). Mind you others researched then researched some more. You do whatever is best for you but if it is making you more scared and taking you to dark places.... then give your mind a break and wait till Thursday... it will feel like time is dragging but at the same time rushing you faster than you can keep up. 

Deep breathes lass deep breaths x

Everything I read is so contradictory that it makes no sense so think I will wait for the consultant. I am a bit worried that mine is so rare that they wont know what to do either. At least as she said I am already on meds so something is being done.

Thank you for your support - I really appreciate having someone to talk to xx

Support is what we are here for :-)

some diagnosis may be less the norm than others but I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that they have dealt with it before and know exactly what needs doing for yours... just need all the information pulled together first i.e. the rest of your test results. X

I had very christmassy day too...was in Bristol with friends drinking then to Bath arboretum to see Xmas light show in woods, was beautiful! Very tired now and I have to work Sunday :-(

So sorry Lorna (I'm also a Lorna).

It does suck when you get the news, even when you expect it.

Your news was pretty much the same as mine.  On ultrasound and mammogram alone the radiologist told me I was "at least stage 2 and it looks like it's already spread to the lymph nodes although that will need biopsy to confirm".  Mine turned out to be stage 3, 6cm, and definitely in lymph nodes, although they couldn't tell until after my mastectomy that it was in 8 of the 10 axillary lymph nodes.  It was er+, pr+ and HER2-.  I had to have chemo straight away (had to cancel my trip home to visit my twin :( ) because it was already spreading.  Then after chemo I had a full mastectomy as more than half my boob was cancerous.  Now it is er+, pr- and I'm still awaiting latest HER2 results but I believe it's incredibly rare for the HER2 status to change from -ve to +ve, although it does sometimes go from +ve to -ve.

You have got this though, because we all do.  When you first get the diagnosis and treatment plan it feels like forever, it seems like such a long journey.  But you blink and chemo is over, and you're recovering from mastectomy, and it just all goes so fast.  AND, most importantly, you continue to have a life, and friends and family, and interests.

We are all here to support you, whether you need to cry, rant, scream, whatever it is... we're all here.

Wishing you all the best and really hoping that you have a relatively easy time of it with chemo.

LJxx