The good and the bad

Hi peeps

I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Taking the excellent advice on this website I pretty much started by taking it one day at a time. This does indeed help. 

I thought to share the good and the bad and would love to hear anyone else's should they wish to share.

Today I had both a good and a bad moment. I received 2 letters in the post.

The first was from the hosp confirming my op date (my bad moment) cos my stomach dropped and I had that now familiar feeling of anxiousness take hold for a moment but shook it off cos I know it is needed. 

The good - my 2nd letter - as if... a tax rebate - boom  . Not half put a much needed smile on my face . Reckon a my treat family meal is in order.

Eeee it's the little things ain't it. 

Take care peeps 

Sandra x ️X

 

Parents
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    Hi Sandra,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis.You are doing well by trying to cope one day at a time.The first letter you received today wasn't so bad.. It is going to remove the cancer in your breast and give you the chance to live a normal life once all this treatment is over, so the sooner you start the sooner you'll be finished with it all. The second was a definite bonus.

    What surgery are you going to have - a lumpectomy or a mastectomy?

    I have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer. The first was diagnosed 7 years ago and the second the following year. Have you got a treatment plan in place post-surgery?

    Please stay in touch. Remember, there is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine.

    Thanks for the reply. 

    I have 2 small lumps in my R breast (no one can feel them nor is there any outward change to be seen nor pain. Caught on routine screening).

    They are grade 1 and grade  2 both invasive cancers. On MRI my lymph nodes look clear.

    I am having a lumpectomy on the 21st as a day case. They are hoping to make 1 incision to get to both but will re assess on day. They are also taking 2 sentinel nodes for biopsy just in case. 

    After the op all things being equal I am to have radiotherapy mon to fri for 3 wks.

    Wow how matter of fact does it all sound in the written word when it is so not.

    7yrs post diagnosis - I tip my hat to you Jolamine. When we are first diagnosed it's like our lives ended in that moment. This is so not true "living with Cancer" never a truer word.

    take care Jolamine 

    Sandra x

     

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    HI Sandra,

    I was 61 and still working when I was diagnosed. Since then I have had to take a back seat at work, because I have had so many clinics to attend. Like you, I have always been fit and healthy, but so much has hit me since I was diagnosed that it feels as if I am a different person.

    You ask about the crazy hours that I send my posts. I am a night owl (have always been) and I remember how I felt when first diagnosed. I couldn’t sleep and I really appreciated replies from some great people on this forum at all times. I found that the worst time for me was overnight when my imagination ran riot. I was particularly scared at the time, because I nursed my Mum with secondary breast cancer for 12 years. She was only told that she had metastases in liver, lungs, bones and brain in her final year. We lost her that year, but it was horrendous to watch her pain and suffering to the end. Having had so much help when I needed it, I hope that I am giving a little back by doing the same for others.

    I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and a few scares - the latest last week. I had a radioactive bone scan last Wednesday and got the results on Friday. Fortunately, it was good news for a change. These scares have become almost routine, but there is always the worry until I get the results.

    I hope that your op goes well and that you have no side-effects from Letrozole.

    Kind regards,

    Jolaine xx

  • Hi Jolamine 

    Bless what a gem you are. So glad you had good news sounds like you are over due some. 

    Glad it's you're a night owl and all is well - I like many others appreciate your time and support-thank you. 

    You mention you feel you are a different person - I get that but at the same time, you have got to where you are today because of your innate strengths and the core of who your are. One of these strengths is your ability to adapt and change when needed -you are who you need to be. I hope like you I have the strength in me to change as and when I need to.

    Take care Jolamine onwards and upwards 

    Sandra x

     

  • Today I attended the hosp to have the marker iodine seeds put in - was very similar to having a biopsy but easier. So next step is my op next Thursday. 

    The good- while there met another lady having her seed put in ready for her op on same day - both of us said see you next Thurs. A friendly face to look for on day of op.  

  • Not posted on here for a while so just t say

    its early so delighted  to say no bad yeahhh.

    The good:- recovered from op with no problems (was no where near as big a deal I had made it in my head). This wk just finished 3 wks of RT. Was fine throughout not particularly tired and skin not been a problem ( only 2 appts ran on time the norm seemed to be running 45-60 mins behind bless them). Started letrozole and although getting some hot flushes I can deal with them. 

    I have met some lovely people on my journey I am honoured and grateful.

    My heartfelt thoughts to those starting and continuing their journey. X

     

  • Hi there ... just wanted to say well done brave lady ... not posted before as I could see you were being well looked after by jolomine... she's amazing .... but just wanted to send you a big hug ... I thought the same as you ... I've had a few ops along the way ... but mastectomy was the least stressful... but the run up to it is scary ... so now you've done the hardest part , let's hope it's on the up now .... 

    So sending you a big brave hug ... chrisie xx 

  • Ah thanks Chrisie

    Just done final add up its actually 13 wks and 2 days from date of diagnosis of breast cancer to last day of  RT - meet surgeon in April for review then onto an annual review.

    what a ride it’s been. How quick does the treatment machine kick in. Carrying out its work while u feel like you  are being dragged along clueless ( despite their valiant attempts to explain everything). I went from someone who wouldn’t consider sunbathing top less to whooping them out at the drop of a hat:-) laying there chatting to male radiotherapists while they draw on me boob:-) who knew:-0

    Then discharged.... cut adrift and suddenly your days are your own again. Me.... I love it but totally get why some struggle. 

    Thank you for saying brave but felt more like lack of choice. The new lifestyle we didn’t choose is without a doubt made easier by the support of those on here. From the been there done thats to the I am going through this too. The nervous chatting in the hosp waiting rooms and the sharing of stories. Yup humbled and grateful to everyone who has touched my life through this. X

     

     

     

  • Not posted on this thread for a while but here is today’s good nd bad...

    The bad:- yesterday  bumped into a friend not seen in a while in the school yard while I dropped off my granddaughter. She told me her husband has prostrate cancer which has spread and she has been diagnosed with leukaemia. Sad catch up:-(

    The good:- My daughter who is doing a career change has completed her 1 st yr exams ( to be an electrician) and got a distinction... well proud:-)

    Life continues don’t it. 

    Take care peeps x

  • Hey Sandra. Im just starting my journey and enjoyed reading this thread. I've been diagnosed with stage 1 invasive breast cancer in left breast with an additional area that although currently benign is showing abnormal cell change and growth. So out they ate both coming. I'm scheduled for my OP on 13th April. Sentinel nodes to be removed for testing also. Then if margins and nodes clear I will also be for 3 weeks radiotherapy. As my cells are also ER+ I will need hormone therapy but that's a doozy. I'm staying positive and reassuring everyone around me (It's ok I'm not dying yet). I dont think people know how to react to me when i say things like that. My other half thinks I'm either coping amazingly well or in denial. Anyways i thought id say hi as your journey is so close to the one im about to take....plus I like the idea that for every negative there is a positive...karma and balance. Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket

  • Hi there Sandra. . It's a shame about catch up, but maybe helped each other, knowing how many of us that are now on this journey...  

    But high 5 to your daughter ... electrician a ... that should come in handy ... 

    I'm just waiting to have little op on scar (again) as got 2 to my lumps behind it ... had a small hole that never healed ... told them to 're do months ago ... oh well here goes ... 

    Just sitting with my granddaughter. . Ain't grandkids the best for taking mind off things ... any ways Sandra ... keep going hun ... take care ... Chrissie x

  • Hi there ... just sending you a vertual hug ... from one breast lady to another ... we've all helped ourselfs and others that come along on this rollercoaster of breast cancer ... once l got my head around it in the early days , l felt ready to take this cancer by the balls and run with it ... coz cancer wants us to panic and give in ... but we were in the same place as you and it is so emotional , and different days you feel different things ... but it's a long ol journey so when you have a down day, remember wer all on this rollercoaster with you ..

    So brave lady ... the op isn't half as bad as I'd imagined ... and some of us breast ladies were home in the evening with a nice cupper... but it is more tender where lymph nodes are taken ... that takes a while to get better ... take care Chrissie xx

Reply
  • Hi there ... just sending you a vertual hug ... from one breast lady to another ... we've all helped ourselfs and others that come along on this rollercoaster of breast cancer ... once l got my head around it in the early days , l felt ready to take this cancer by the balls and run with it ... coz cancer wants us to panic and give in ... but we were in the same place as you and it is so emotional , and different days you feel different things ... but it's a long ol journey so when you have a down day, remember wer all on this rollercoaster with you ..

    So brave lady ... the op isn't half as bad as I'd imagined ... and some of us breast ladies were home in the evening with a nice cupper... but it is more tender where lymph nodes are taken ... that takes a while to get better ... take care Chrissie xx

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  • Thanks Chrissie. Yes am just gearing myself up for it. Been told I will be in overnight and needing a week off work to recover so am working on that at the moment. Have pre OP booked in so it's just sit and wait now. Although I feel quite strong I've had an outbreak of eczema on my eyelid and torso of all places and have a stress muscular shoulder blade pain. I'm also not getting an uninterrupted nights sleep. But I think this is just the physical reaction to the shock of the initial diagnosis. Im actually surprising myself as I always thought I'd go to pieces if ever diagnosed with cancer as my mum passed from cancer (bladder) when I was 24. Onwards as they say. X

  • Hi there Cornishpasty  ... not looked on here for awhile. . ... as knew Sandra and jolomine was looking after you all ... but just wanted to say will be thinking of you over the next few weeks ... i know its a lot of highs and lows ... its not a bad thing to have a few tears sometimes ... we all get them days .. but you got the boxing gloves on, ready to take him all the way down this journey of ours ... I've got to have a few little lumps out under scar around same time ... we can do this xx

    It really does help ... it's like standing up to the bully .... I'm really proud of you ... you go girl ...

    Will pop back every so often for updates ... big hug Chrissie

  • Hi Chrissy

    How do you keep doing it again and again?

    I had a dark day yesterday (sounds a bit dramatic as I'm stage 1). I sat and spoke with my partner about practicalities if things get worse over time. He was really not wanting the conversation but I am such a practical person that I can't settle without having plans in place to ensure he and my 8 year old will be ok. As such I'm thinking of moving some money around for a worse case scenario fund. Today I'm questioning myself as this doesnt feel like im being optimistic, positive and strong....which is what I want to be. What a ride this is huh!

  • Hi cornishpastie

    Sure [@Chriss]‍ will b along soon.

    In the mean while just wanted t say - No mistaking it you have been side swiped out of nowhere. Having a “bad” day is totally normal so don’t b so hard on yourself. 

    Nothing wrong  with looking at all practicalities... some things just should b in place regardless. I’m grade 2 but when I was diagnosed didn’t have a will - I do now:-) let’s face it my will should have been in place anyway - u know the old “might get hit by a bus” scenario :-) 

    I didn’t focus on the practicalities of my treatment... I literally obsessed on them. Bless the lasses who supported me on here throughout my obsessions were my rock ( thank you ladies- you know who u are).

    The endless questions on what to take with me on op day ( I mean really it’s - slippers, dressing gown nd kindle) seriously the amount of me t you t me t u questions.... yup obsessed with the detail:-) again... thank u lasses.

    Guess it was my way of dealing. Whatever your way is then what the hey you do whatever it takes.

    x

     

     

     

     

  • Thank you Sandra. It caught me by surprise as I've been quite positive all through so far and it shook my partner that I wanted to have that conversation. 

    Yes I'm starting to obsess on the right pyjamas etc as will be in overnight. Any tips would be appreciated on this lol xxx

  • Careful ... floodgates cornishpastie floodgates;-)

    Reckon 2 things to remember 1. It’s a bit like being dropped on the edge of an abyss looking down ( being phased and scared is normal) 2. You will be stepping back from the edge to live your life with those you love and care for you. 

    Now u have triggered my dormant obsession :-) Wear clothes, pyjamas nd underwear that you can get into easily ( just in case you are a bit tender). So pyjama top that goes on like a cardi nd front fastens. I got a couple of seamless, front fastening, wire free bras ( support without digging in nd easy to fasten). See the trend here- easy to put on nd comfy. 

    Ask away on anything you are unsure of. We are all here t help:-) x

  • Ha ha Sandra you made me laugh. Right pulling myself together again. 

    I hadn't thought about front fastening bras!!!! Huge tip. Thank you....front fastening everything here I come!

  • Just jump in here as well, if you have some bbq tongs around, keep them handy for when you get home. Useful for reaching out to grab stuff without overstretching your arm for the first few days. 

  • Oh that is a good tip. Can I ask how long it took for you to recover. I've had to give work a rough timescale and I've said a week off. They know this is flexible and understand why and aren't putting pressure on me. But I have a stressful job (social worker) so am out driving to visits and carrying files, lots of note taking and typing up of assessments. Let alone the occassional angry person. I want to be realistic but also want to get back asap after for normality. 

  • I went back to work after two and a half weeks. The docs at the hospital signed me off for two weeks straight away. I worked half days for two weeks, my boss insisted I didn’t overdo it and then back full time until radiotherapy mid point. I worked half days for the last part of treatment and then for me fatigue really kicked in. I was off for a month after treatment finished.