So my ballet was cancelled, Margaret asked me to go to Yarm, bit of shopping some coffee and cake so off we went in her soft top sports car, yesterday she called me a Jonah today it was confirmed!  We set off to Darlington, got to the left turn for Yarm, road closed, only on our side as traffic was still coming the other way!  We had to drive around all the roundabouts, fight the traffic that was also lost as there were no diversion signs but we finally made it following the long queue into Yarm High Street with all its cobbled parking completely full.  Ooh I said there's a plot of land at the end that you can park on for 50p, so we got to the top of the road did a u turn which lots of people were not happy about, turn left here I shout, we turned left, the plot of land is now fenced off as they are building houses on it, the lane is so narrow we had to do a three point turn to get back onto the high street then crawl at a snails pace until someone left and we had a space!  Maraget wanted a new diamond and yellow diamond ring as Paul has bought her nothing for their golden anniversary, but her nails are a mess so she made me try them all on so she could choose, the poor woman thought I was buying it and kept trying to find my size, I fessed up in the end and said its not for me!  Margaret was so upset at what Paul had written in her card, thank you for supporting and enduring fifty years he'd written, what does he mean by that she asks me, enduring, is that what he's had to do?  So we set off home, let's go a different way I suggest so we don't get lost, unfortunately it was over a railway crossing and as we arrived the lights started flashing and we sat for ten minutes waiting for the train to cross, then she turned left instead of going straight on, I kept quiet as she'd had enough by then, where does this bring us out she asks, err at the road that's closed I say, fortunately going back we weren't diverted, to say we were glad to get home was an understatement, good job diesels coming down in price she says, we both laughed, then I fell down her front step, she tried to save me ending up with a massive bruise on her arm where I dig my beautiful manicured nails into it, we hug and kiss, give me a call I shout as I leave, I think I'll drive next time.  Take care, Carol x 

Today has been hard for me and my girls, we finally group facetimed  and watched it together.  What a marvellous funeral for a marvellous Queen, and to see the young children attend reminded me of my grandchildren attending Norman's funeral, Harry and Alfie following the coffin and being so composed and grown up, Ella a little scared but with support and love she managed and was included in the love shown for her grandad.  Children need to be part of death, accept what has happened to a loved one, be part of the thanks for that life of a loved one.  It helps them to hear about the life and contribution they made and none of mine have been troubled by being present.  I remember being asked to look after six children when Gordys Dad died, I didn't mind as some were extremely young, but four were old enough to be present, they chose instead to stay home and play on their x boxes, Norman and I were quite upset over this, it was as if Grandad had been as nothing, not mourned or loved enough for them to give up an hour of their lives, it was very disrespectful from our view but they were not our children so we kept quiet.  So that's it for now, hope you're all OK. Carol x 

Hello all, today I've had my training for hospital inspection involving volunteers, it's very in depth and apparently long days are involved.  So I've sent three dates that I'm interested in and hope to be chosen.  I was invited to a quiz night by Flo last night and spent the grand total of one pound fifty to have an enjoyable evening with five other ladies, mind I was rubbish at the sports questions, how am I expected to know who played cricket in 1863fur goodness sake!  The few questions I answered correctly were not taken up as things like guessing years was divided by six to give a middle figure, a bit weird when it involves the war era I thought! So my answer of 1942 ended up as 1946, so not even in the war years, but hey ho it was a fun filled night for us all and iam new to the group.  So feet up now as still not sure if ballet is going ahead tomorrow but I live in hope.  Carol x 

Hi Carol and co.

The numbers of contributors to this thread is growing again, isn't it?

I think I have watched enough television this past week to do me until Christmas, I watched all the services and processions and the people waiting to pay their respects to Her Majesty lying in state.  There were several moments that caused me to fill up but none more so than seeing the King's eyes fill with tears as the congregation sang God Save the King, after the funeral. I couldn't watch the innumerable interviews with minor celebs telling of their two minutes speaking to the Queen, that they will dine on forever more, so I muted them and got on with some work until the scene changed.

It seems the list of injuries my son has incurred has grown yet again. The final total is two broken arms, two broken feet plus the other injuries we knew about, nose, chin, and ribs.  I have just realised I put in an Oxford comma there, don't tell Therese Coffey!  
I love that you are thinking of taking up ballet again, it will be an excellent form of exercise.  Alas, I have to make do with walking the dog and doing my physio exercises for my arthritic knees. 
My daughter has recently taken early retirement and this week she got her pension payout, She haas paid off her mortgage and set up several savings accounts, premium bonds, income bonds, ISAs etc. I am so glad she has been sensible with it, a sudden influx of money can sometimes turn heads.  She is hoping to take a little holiday with her dog, when she feels up to it.  She has been Ill for ten years with ME and only managed to work until 55 by reducing her hours. She is still recovering from having to close her projects, or train up someone else to take over, which meant a very stressful few final weeks.  Now she has somehow become an unpaid career for her next door neighbour, who is in the final stages of metastatic breast cancer.  She has always been on just casually friendly terms with her neighbour, who had breast cancer approximately 20 years ago. She didn't tell us when she first knew it had come back but her friend dropped it to us thinking we were already aware.  She has done well over this last few years, the chemo didn't bother her too much and she seemed to be doing quite well. However a few weeks ago.she took the decision to stop the chemo, as the last treatment had left her feeling very sick.  She has since gone downhill really quickly and suddenly my daughter is going in to help her with day to day care.  She had to take it upon herself to get professional carers in and when they were not given any information about what these people were supposed to do, she organised a meeting with someone from the agency to discuss it, and got her neighbour's son involved.  The doctor is coming daily as the patient has strange swelling that needs investigation, plus has now come out in Shingles. Today the son asked if he should come, and she said yes, that if it were me in that state she would want to be with me. He told my daughter that he had arranged for the carers to get his mother up at 8am this morning and tomorrow morning as she has to go to hospital for a scan but they weren't supper which day.  My girl and I FaceTime at 8am every day just to show we are up and ok, but this morning she was really worried, she had been in to see if her neighbour needed anything before the carers came to get her up out of bed. Nothing was needed at that time so my daughter told her the carers would be there in half an hour so she could have another half hour in bed. They didn't turn up until.after nine o'clock, which would have been disastrous if today had been the day for her scan at 10. Fortunately it's tomorrow.  Every time we talked today she had to close the call to attend to something for next door. The most recent call was for the arrival of a hospital bed, My daughter had to rearrange the room so the television could be visible from both the bed and the armchair with a path through to the bathroom and kitchen, then she was running round to find sheets for the bed. She has finally managed to get the son involved, (somewhat reluctantly) and he has been able to arrange for overnight care tonight, and the he is thinking it's hospice time, It may well be and I so hope that he is able to get her in our local hospice because my daughter is exhausted and stressed by having to do this, because the lady's friends of thirty years or more are barely popping in and the son lives miles away. Oooh! Just had an update, my daughter is off duty now, until things are sorted out tomorrow. The son and his daughter have just arrived to stay overnight, and he is going to move mountains tomorrow to get his mother into a hospice where she will get proper care.  My daughter has sorted out all her meds until morning, and they have rearranged the room again so Mum can see the Tv from the bed as she doesn't want to get up.  Earlier, my daughter had to run to the pharmacy as the medication prescribed by the doctor for the shingles wasn't in stock and they had suggested an alternative and had been waiting to see if a prescription for the alternative would come through. As they had no driver  after 5pm she drove down and waited with the pharmacist to see if it came through, but it didn't.  The original medicine, which is very expensive  will be available tomorrow and will be delivered. In the fifteen minutes she was gone, the carers had been, asked if anything was needed, and left.  My daughter was so mad, there were so many things needed! So you can imagine how worn out she is after the day she has had. Then, bless her, she said that she was worn out and didn't want to have this responsibility but she was giving it forward, as she has no children and she would hope a kind neighbour would help her in her hour of need.  I told her I was very proud of her and I hope she's around when my turn comes. "Oh No! " she said, "Jackie (her best friend) is going to look after you, it's all been arranged! " It's nice to know it's been discussed and decided! You have to laugh!

Take care, everyone

Love

Christine xx

Hi dear Carol and Christine, (must put Carol first as it's her string).

Bit chaos here Brenda won't exercise so she's not moving very good needs frame more, eating and drinking fine sleeps more. 

I've aches and pains and lacking energy again keep the house tidy, heating really meals. Talking to oncologist Fri as definitely meds causing problems. 

Really glad you had a good time Carol at quiz. 

Christine hope you're son gets sorted soon now they know what wants fixing its took long enough finding everything. Definitely hope he doesn't want another bike like our Peter did, 

Take care all. 

Love Billy xxxx 

Afternoon everyone, I've just got back from ballet which I thoroughly enjoyed but oh my God I'd forgotten how hard it was to do, this lady was trained by the Royal ballet school so everything is done as it should be even the language, for all steps and arm movements,.ive also now got a ticket for Swan Lake next January and met many more ladies of my age, so I may ache but it was really enjoyable.  Do you know I've just been reading over some older posts and realised ProfBaw that I'd not replied to your kind words about my helping you, so thank you.  Billy it sounds like it's very hard for you at the moment, as I've said before not being well and coping with Brenda's problems must be so very hard and I hope you are soon sorted out in some way.  Christine, your poor son it must be so painful and a long recovery ahead, your daughter has taken on an awful lot, as they say no good deed goes unpunished and sometimes we take on more than we should.  The lady sounds very ill, relatives seem to think that someone else is coping so leave them to it!  I feel that I am on a better road to being more involved with things, I met an old friend at this class today from our zumba days, her husband died 11 years ago, she was saying without being unkind that she felt some widows never moved on with their lives and I agreed, I know we are all different but I am lucky to be alive, Norman fought a lot to stay alive so to miss out on what he would have wanted to do himself is not going to happen.  He fought every inch despite his disabilities, his cancer, his age, he wanted to live and I wanted him to live but we don't always get what we want in life.  So I've just eaten some chorizo with salad, it was very chewy so I've just checked the packet, apparently I should have taken the skin off!!  Carol x 

Absolutely no need to thank me, for thanking you. :laugh:

I may not always reply, but I do catch up with the thread, and enjoy hearing what you all do, as i suspect many people do. Calamities and all. It's just calming reading stories from people who just get it. I'm kinda at the age (47) where luckily most of my friends have not been touched by cancers outside of grandparents etc yet, so none of them really get it, especially the part where you come out of the other side and have to adapt to a new normal, whatever that may mean.

Keith

Hi Carol and Billy et al,

I imagine you are aching a bit from the ballet, Carol, your muscles remembering movements they had forgotten about.  I'm glad you enjoyed it and are gaining more than muscle strain. The quiz sounds fun!  It's nice to look forward to seeing the ballet, too.

Billy, I'm sorry things are getting hard for you again, you must do what new mothers do, sleep when the baby sleeps. I know Brenda's not a baby but if she is sleeping more, that's your cue to put your feet up. I hope the oncologist was able to help you, perhaps with some other meds that don't knock your strength.

Hopefully my son will have had the surgery on his wrist today. He isn't very impressed with going private as, although they found the extra injuries, he could have been seen by now if he had stayed with the NHS.

My daughter's neighbour passed away yesterday about 5pm in her own home, and fortunately, her son and his daughter were with her. My daughter had spent an hour with her in the morning to give them chance to go for a walk and get some fresh air and she said there was no response from her except she was making moaning noises, as if she felt pain.  This upset my daughter quite a bit. Everyone was shocked at how quickly she went, considering that she had been saying she only needed carers twice a day at the beginning of the week and they had been having a chuckle together when my daughter was giving her meds, only on Tuesday night.  My daughter had previously quite disliked the son, because he has an arrogant way of speaking, (but, actually, so did his mother when she was well)  but he stepped up to the plate when he was needed.  He actually thanked her for getting him here on Wednesday, as he wasn't planning to come until weekend which would have been too late. He came to tell her his mother was gone before anyone else and asked if she wanted to come in and see her but she jibbed.  She says she once saw her friend's grandmother in her coffin and has no desire to see another dead body.  It's strange how death affects people, though. Last Wednesday night my daughter was exhausted and stressed out because she had been carrying the burden, that she didn't want, because there was no one else, and she felt she had reached the limit of her ability to do more,  but today she feels guilty because she's relieved that it's over, except the son and granddaughter have gone home until Monday and have asked my daughter to inform the friends and neighbours who would want to know.  The jungle telegraph will take care of that. In a small village it doesn't take long for news to spread. 
Today my daughter says she feels as if she has been on a treadmill since she stopped working.  First I caught Covid and was out of it for two or three weeks, then her dog had to go in for surgery with a week or two of nursing needed, then her neighbour stopped her chemotherapy and started asking her to do a few errands for her, but then deteriorated so fast, and now she feels she needs some time to breathe and relax and enjoy her new retired status.  Hopefully she's going out with a friend tomorrow and she's going to have a couple of Strongbows. If her friend decides not to go, I'm on the top of the substitute list!

I'm just hoping that when September comes to a close that we can all start thinking about happier things, it has been an emotional month for so many.

love to all

Christine xx

Hi Christine, what a horrible time you've all had but your daughter now needs to concentrate on herself before she needs looking after.  Lisa went private when she broke her leg which was good as she didn't get an appointment to see the NHS until three weeks after the break, absolutely disgusting, I do hope all goes well.  I've kept busy and ordered new prescription sunglasses Saturday at Boots opticians, but I have claimed it back on my house insurance but will only get £70 back but better than nothing.  So I've just rang Boots to ask for a receipt to be posted out for the Insurance claim, apparently they don't have stamps so that won't happen the young girl tells me, I've encountered a lot of bad service since Norman's death with all sorts but this took the biscuit!  It's only because they forgot to add the price of the frames into the cost that I'm leaving well alone.  It's so cold here at the moment that I've been putting my gas fire on but upon checking my smart meter it's cheaper to do that than the central heating, I still have had no new date to fix the meter since they cancelled 8 weeks ago, again I've complained but been totally ignored, customer service is dead.  Faye and Ella come home Friday night so looking forward to that, I think Margaret and I are going to see the new George Clooney film, she did a coach trip Saturday to a thrift fayre, she said they were selling home made tote bags for fify pounds, she bought some bamboo socks for four pounds, it was freezing, raining, nowhere to sit down for coffee and they were there from ten am until four pm, I said that's why I go by car!  At least I can come home when I've had enough.  So take care, one more week until my complaint should be resolved.  Carol x 

Hi Carol,

I wrote a long reply to you earlier today and I was just about to close when my daughter called me on FaceTime which came up on my iPad and obliterated my message.  I have since done some work in the garden and grocery shopping and I am worn out so I can't see straight let alone write properly, so I will say Farewell and start again tomorrow.

Christine xx