Dear carol sorry late reply, keep forgetting things .

Brenda is in psychiatric hospital went in Thursday night, then isolated for three days, I've got to get covid test before entering and can only stay 3/4 hour .

I've arranged transport and got tests.

Glad you have got company even if you keep out the way now and again.

Take care dear carol .

Love Billy xxxx

Dear Billy  I'm so sorry this has happened as she  is your life just as Normans was mine. So little time to visit her too, are they now assessing her?  It seems harsh when you know she is not normally like this. Here if you want to talk. Xx

Lisa and I are trying to write a letter of complaint  to the hospital in respect of Norman's neglect, but oh my god there is so much to complain about that we are struggling to pick out the worst parts of his decline whilst supposedly being cared for.  We are now into the fifth day of trying and it's stressing us both out but also making us realise how really bad it all was.  Will it make any difference, who knows but if we don't try then we Bury our head in the sand and leave another family to deal with the same trauma.  It's like not reporting an attack and then you read that the person who hurt you has gone on to hurt someone else much worse.  I have never looked the other way, it's not in my nature, even when it's caused me more problems I would always say, no, that's not right, something needs to be done.  Harry and I have had a good walk with Ziooy today then we came home and played the game Horrible Histories, we laughed and argued so much that Lisa said we were the worst people ever to play a board game with.  I feel more healthy and do not look like I have died and been dug up any more!  My face and tummy are filling out again as I'm being force fed like a Christmas turkey.  I must go home next week as things need sorting out, like the water meter that apparently would take no doing, lid off, meter attached, then it became a small hole to fit new tap for the meter, they now say the drive has to be dug up, but as ut will save me over £400 per year it has to be done.  Harry says I should stay and live in my bedroom here, I made him laugh and said I'd be like the Queen in her Chambers and he could just post food under the door, but Grandma you would be lovely and warm he says, bless him.  Take care, Carol x 

Hi Carol,

Reading your recent posts has brought a couple of things to mind. My daughter lost her dog last October and I know a dog isn't the same as a husband of many years but it had just been the two of them for the ten years of Smudge's life. She was devastated and then came down with Covid the following day. She then had to isolate for 10 days in her empty house while grieving and she really didn't pick up at all. Her doctor refused to sign her off to go back to work until January as she already suffers from ME and she was quite poorly. In the meantime I tried to persuade her to get another dog, even though no dog could replace her beloved Smudge, eventually she agreed to look for one.  We found her her a little miniature poodle puppy that she named Bobbin and after he came home she started to smile again and began to pick up. I really believe that if they are physically able to care for one, anyone living alone should get a dog. My Archie is a great comfort to me. He makes me take exercise, he rarely answers back and he wakes me up in the sweetest way every morning.  As you have been enjoying the puppy at your daughter's, maybe getting one of your own when you return to your own home will help you to feel a little less lonely.

The second thing I want to mention is regarding Norman's lack of care. My friend's husband was diagnosed with a cancer that is very treatable when caught early and he had caught it early. Unfortunately, somehow he fell into a black hole somewhere between his first diagnosis and getting any treatment. He wasn't contacted for two months and when he was called, he was addressed by the wrong name! He then spent the next six years having painful and life diminishing treatments that ultimately failed and he died. My friend wanted to complain about this and she actually went to a solicitor and the trust where he was a patient, were found to have been negligent and she was awarded compensation. She didn't want money, she just wanted to ensure no one else suffered the same neglect. I'm not saying you should do the same. I'm just suggesting that you get a professional to help you to word and possibly present your complaints. 
It really upsets me that the ending to your wonderful uplifting blog that has helped so many of us over the last few years, is so sad. 
Love

Christine xxx

Billy,

I am so sorry for your situation without your beloved Bren to look after.. Please take care of yourself, now.  It's hard trying to maintain a relationship in the circumstances,  Hopefully they will be able to stabilise Bren's mood and you can see she's ok where she is. The visiting time is too short, in my opinion, but there's not much you can do about that. Please make sure you eat properly. It's too easy to forget about eating and to neglect yourself once you are alone in the home. You are another one whose uplifting blogs have kept me going since my own cancer diagnosis and treatment and I'm really sad the way things are going. 

Lots of love to both you and Brenda, she's a lucky lady having you and I bet she knows it underneath all, despite not being able to express it  

Christine xx

Dear Christine, and carol .

Visited Brenda last night granddaughter took me ,got there early so not allowed in till proper time,as soon as Brenda saw me she cried, thought i was dead . wanted me to hold her all the time, she never stops talking still about anything and everything, she's so happy all the time nurse says,(nurse was in visiting room with us) .

i definitely agree a dog is good company,(even though our Bella sleeps alot and snores terrible) would be lost without her .

Love to you both and all reading carols string , xxxx

Dear Christine and Billy, thank you for the lovely replies to my last post.  Billy my heart feels for you so much and I hope that they can sort Brens Medication and you have her home soon, with you and Bella the snoring dog.  Christine, I spoke to Lisa about what you had said and she said it was like a light bulb moment,  as our letter was becoming a family rant!  How could it not be, I could have written a book about how we were treated and to nail it down to a complaint is impossible, so that's now in my list of jobs for when I return.  It's really cold today after two weeks of sunshine so my daughter has decided we are going walking around the lake to see the ducks (can't wait!).  Zippy will be with us but on a lead, he hates birds and ducks as they taunt him by flying above his head, there are a couple of large pigeons who have made a nest outside the dining room patio doors in the climbing tree that goes up the wall, Zippy  knows they are there but can't reach them and sits forlornly on the patio watching for them, when they appear he leaps off the patio trying to catch them but they beat him to it each time, it's really funny to watch.  On the getting a puppy chat, it's a no as for 13 years I've had to stay with Norman due to his amputation and then cancer so I'm not going to limit myself to not being able to travel or go away as and when I want to, yes it's lovely company but very tying.  Apparently Ray (Dorothy's husband) has now caught covid from her in hospital as have her two daughters, he is not well like I wasn't and Dorothy is now all alone in hospital.  Flo went to see her yesterday and said she has no TV, no radio and is in a side room on her own, I'm no doomsday person but it's not looking good for a return to her home.  The last two years have caused so much harm and it seems hospitals are the main cause of transmission when you're in them, well that's my opinion.  Must get dressed as I need a strong coffee before my trek around the lake.  Love Carol x 

The walk around the lake was awful, freezing cold gusts of force gale winds, snow and swans trying to attack Zippy as they had young ones with them.  My Hardy daughter decided we would sit outside and "enjoy" waffles and cream and coffee, Harry and I looked skeptical but found a table, the wooden forks, serviettes and anything else not nailed down flew away, the dogs ears stood on end and for the first time in my grown up life I wore a bubble hat, my head is obviously bigger than Lisa's as it kept falling off.  After paying for expensive cold waffles I gave up and sat in the car, there's being hardy and being stupid and I'm not stupid!  I was so tired by last night that when Lisa's friend popped round I stayed on the sofa and just said Hi.  This morning we've been out for brunch with seven other friends but I'm finding big crowds hard to deal with and I'm pleased to be back in the quiet.  Tugs has gone to Flamders for three days and Lisa bought loads of herbs to plant a herb garden, it's my treat for having me but I truly think we all now need our own space.  Seeing as I've talked about the puppy so much I've added a photo of him with his new banana toy, take care all, Carol x 

Hi Carol,

I totally understand where you're coming from regarding getting a dog of your own. They are tying and I can understand your need to now have a life free of encumbrances. My daughter is at hand to take care of Archie if I need her to and vice versa for her and Bobbin. I haven't been on holiday abroad, since the person staying in my house, supposedly looking after our dogs, let  my lovely girl get run over and I had to fly back on the second day to authorise (and pay for) her treatment.

Good luck with your complaint. I hope you find a good advocate to put it forward for you.

Are you home now, back to the snow?

Christine xx

Hi everyone, I'm back home and it's very quiet but it's good to be back in my own surroundings, mind the heating wouldn't work, I left the house keys in the front door and went to bed, then this morning I found I'd left the car keys hanging off the hook, so I'm fortunate that I live in a safe neighbourhood!  Norman (my only one now) had mowed my lawn so the garden looks lovely, all the miniature daffodils are out and the tulips I planted in pots, my bucket of hyacinths had grown so much they had fallen over so they are all tied together with ribbon.  Faye and the family are arriving Monday so more company, the it will be just me until the summer holidays.  Lisa has just texted to say Tugs has come back from Flanders and tested positive for covid and is sick, sick, sick! They've just been for Norman's wheelchairs so a little more of him gone but he hated using them, he was a proud man and didn't like people looking down on him it made him feel like an invalid and that's something he would never accept despite his problems.  So I'm off to the tip to try and clear this garage out so my car can be put away, the mess it's in it will probably be winter before it's finalised.  Billy how are you and Bren doing, any news on her coming home?  Christine thank you so much for all your guidance, I miss Zippy so much, his waggy bum, his wet kisses and his cute I love you face, Lisa says he is sitting looking forlornly out the window for me.  I bumped into Ray yesterday, Dorothy is in a room on her own, nothing but blank walls and no one helping her again, there is a ten week wait for respite care and he thinks she will never come home, we both hugged and said how sad it all was, he is lonely and its costing him a fortune to visit and pay parking fees, life is so cruel at times.  Love to you all, Carol x 

Dear carol thought you have enough on without my sad stories but I'll give you small update,im still struggling,no energy , Brenda actually slept well last night, first time since she went in still talking and dancing about, nurses say they love her chearfull attitude . No sign of Brenda coming home soon , its just wait and see . Bella is going for operation Friday to see if lump is cancer.

Thinking of you My dear carol .

Love Billy xxxx