Stay Strong

I have a busy day and come home to my lovely neighbour mowing my back lawn.  I chastise him and say  I would have got round to it, he knew I was struggling and came in whilst I was out.  These kindnesses make my day.  I think hubby is not looking well and voice my concerns.   Nope he says he's fine but a little niggle tells me otherwise.   I get up this morning and he admits he's not good..  appointment at Doctors and he has another infection.  I am being picked up by a friend to go to Wynyard Hall and gardens, the day is glorious and she has the soft top down,we arrive and I look like Bridget Jones after her ride in an open top car!  We have home made cake and coffee and meander the beautiful gardens looking at the pumpkins, sweetcorn and variety of flowers.  I suddenly spot a flower that hubby and I keep seeing  on our drives and it's driving him insane not knowing its name.  A lady hears us talking, takes a photo, Googles it and walks back to tell me, it's  called the common tansy. People are so thoughtful and kind!  Back home hubby laughs at the state of my hair, saying I look like I have been pulled through a hedge backwards,  charming!!  I tell him the plants name, lovely he says and promptly falls asleep on his sheepskin in the sunny conservatory.   Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, I want my normal hubby back.

  • Hi Carol, I have folloerd your story right from the beginning and it gave me so nuch hope from the start of my husband's leukemia diagnosis, in fact I don't think I could have managed at all but your posts gave  me so much hope thankyou x My hubbies Leukemia is now under control with 1 tabet a day snd I am  forever grateful.  I really hope I havn't imposed on you and wish you, Norman and your famiy a wonderful Chridtmas xx

  • Hello Marbles12, it's so lovely to hear from you.  I never realised when I started my posts that they would help others, it was just my way of keeping a record and unburdening my head from all the dross.  I look back and Alfie was only 9, Harry, five and Ella three years old, but they have been a joy to us and Norman so wanted to see them grown up.  I'm so pleased that your husband is doing well, that's such good news.  I've made good friends over the past four years and would be happy to hear from you any time you feel like it.  Happy Christmas to you as well.  Carol x 

  • I truly think God has a different plan to mine and if he wants to test me it is certainly working.  Not a bad Saturday apart from Norman having a really bad stomach and back. I was looking forward to seeing Lisa as they were travelling up here today.  Well 9.30pm last night that all went haywire as Tug,'s Mum who is my age but lives in a home took seriously ill and she lives in Bristol, so even further away from me.  I've never met her as she has mental health issues and has never left Bristol, ever.  Tugs had been out drinking with his Rugby Pals so couldn't drive, Lisa can't travel on her own with Zippy and Harry due to loss of mobility and tonight between 8 and 9pm a Tesco food delivery will be coming to the cottage for our Christmas holidays, Faye, Gordy, Alfie, Ella and Lisa, Harry and Tugs would all be there from today and Tuesday respectively.  So I now have to travel up to the cottage to take in the food and put it away.  Norman has now said I'm not driving on my own and wants to come but its cold and it will make him worse.  He doesn't understand that a coveted Tesco food slot can be anytime between 8 and 9 and then has to be put away.  I still have no word on how his Mum is, I know it's awful but if she dies there will be nine very disappointed people, including her son who she has never done anything for, given him grief, accused him of stealing from her, rings him day and night when it suits to the point the number was changed and is not the least but interested in Harry, her grandson.  How much more can we all take?  Carol x

  • Good luck with everything 

    Shopping this time of year, and driving in this fog.... rather you than me

     

    Pete passed away in October so I'll be dropping away for now from the Cancer groups, but I wish everyone all the best - or as best as they can be at this time

    Snoops

    xx

  • Hi Snoops, I'm so sorry to hear about Pete and its so thoughtful of you to send your good wishes to us all.  I will miss you popping on but it's the best choice to not have other people's pain when you are grieving yourself.  All my love to you. Carol xx

  • I've just got back from the cottage whuch is now looking very homely but Tugs is still in Bristol and his Mum is now in a coma.  He is staying on his own in a hotel and visiting when allowed.  It may seem harsh but she doesn't know he is there and he really needs to be here with his family and to let the hospital take care of her, she could last for days and sitting watching doesn't help.  My experience is that the minute you are not there the person goes, they seem to not want you to see them pass away.  1 left Norman alone again to help but he is very understanding and says to just help Lisa.  Sue came up as well and we stayed with Harry whilst Lisa went to buy more goods for the house.  The lovely Sean next door is helping and he is basically like my spare Norman and has done so much.  It's amazing how people step up with kindness and help when you need it and ask for help, most people are kind and considerate.  Mind I went to Tesco for the first time in months today, I set foot through the door, advanced about six feet and this woman started shouting at me saying I'd walked in front of her!  I didn't realise I said as she was behind me, I'd obviously invaded the social distancing space that no longer exists, but she wouldn't stop so I was so mad I said, and Merry bloody Christmas to you to you nasty woman.  What is wrong with people they are so nasty when there is no need for it.  Hubby was fuming when I told him, you're too lovely he says and pretty to look at, so they attack you, what a lovely thing to say.  Norman is not looking at all well and is eating very little, he just wants to be home in the warm.  But he is looking forward to seeing all our family on Christmas day.  Can you remember me mentioning June and Keith, she has dementia and has been in a home, she died last night, life can be so cruel.  Love Carol x 

  • We left home at 8.30am in 1 degree freezing cold for our bcc nose appointment. Norman struggled so hard and said, I'm not a well man.  Not good news as the cancer is so advanced on his nose they can't do plastic surgery and it maybe chemotherapy injection or radiotherapy, we both just sat there, bomb proofed against all the bad news.  At home Norman was grey with pain so I rang our surgery.  Daniel rang me back, I told him we've basically been abandoned and we need help, he told me he is actually part of the palliative care team and would now be looking after Norman.  He came and saw us and Norman is now on tramadol for his pain and they will call regularly to see how we are, so now I have support but why did I have to ask for it, why when they all know how ill he is do they not reach out to us, it's a good job I'm pro active or we would be in a worse state.  I've just been to buy a condolence card for Keith and then our Vicar rang me and said I'm here if you need me and you're in our thoughts.  Tug 's mum is still in a coma and he has to stay because he needs to register her death and to travel up here is not an option, unfortunately he has all Harry's Christmas presents in his car and it's looking like he will not be here with us at all.  Faye has arrived and we will see her tomorrow.  Truly how much more can one family take?  Carol xx

  • Merry Christmas everybody.  Xx

  • Merry Christmas to you and Norman. :happy:

    I hope that whatever you have planned you're able to enjoy the festive period. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Merry Christmas carol and Norman hope everything goes to plan over the festive season .

    Best wishes, to all .

    Billy xxxx