Hi dor06

i have sat in bed for the past couple hours reading all your posts it made me laugh and cry,you have been through the mill and still kept your spirit. You should Defo write a book. I've never been able to read anything for more than a couple of minutes but your story kept pulling me back (maybe because of the real life struggle). Hope you are doing well. ️ ️

Hi Christine, just a thought you've maybe already been there, about future treatment,. But try it to see if you have any side effects then carry on or stop,,. About you night sweats i have it 24/7 have to keep changing my clothes because there wet through, but i know it's helping to keep me alive if i get to hot i go and stand outside especially when it's raining or dark out ("still wearing clothes of course) but it's tempting. i know what ever you decide you'll have thought well about it Good luck what ever you decide... Billy

P.s i only put Billy because i don't know you very well yet.

Thank you so much for the lovely words, perhaps one day we can turn it into a book!!  Losing your spirit is worse than dying, we still have to live for our loved ones.  Carol xx

What an absolutely wonderful day you had, so many precious memories to treasure forever, you are so strong Gloria, I'm so proud of you.  Love Carol x 

So I have missed my dance class as it was so dark I slept in, never mind I can go tomorrow instead!  Hubby is struggling and was permanently cold yesterday and slept the afternoon away, I watched him as he slept and again wondered how long we have tog.  It didn't help that we have received a fifty page DLA form to fill in as it will be three years in April since diagnosis, three years, my God it does not seem like it despite what we have gone through.  Hubby went grey at the thought of having to fill it in, page after page of doctors appointments, reports, how we live, how long does he have, is it terminal and on and on, I took it off him and rang our McMillan nurse, I knew my two old ones had moved on but I really hadn't seen much of them.  Anyway a young lady called Sophie answered and was so kind and helpful, practising since September  so keen and on the ball.  Long story short she will help fill it in as she has his file, so off to the hospital to hand it in, hubby breathes a sigh of relief.  It's these stupid things that tip us over the edge, cancer, tick, coping, paying bills, keeping a roof over our heads, tick, coping, DLA form, screaming ab dabs!!   So all of you it's only mid morning but we have things to do, see you tomorrow.  Love Carol x 

Hi Billy,

i think I probably will end up starting the treatment with the option to stop if I can't stand the side effects. 

I said it before and I will say it again, Billy, you are my hero. You are a man among men for the care you are giving to your lovely wife, while fighting your own health battles! Sadly, there's are not a lot of men who would do that. Well I haven't come across them, anyway!

Thank you for taking the time to try and help me in my dithering.

Christine xx

I spotted the changed photo! Such a handsome couple!

Thank you for the compliment!!  I made it to my dance class and felt really proud that I managed the whole class without falling over and embarrassing myself.  I bumped into Jean and ex theatre nurse and she asked how I was, she said it sounded like a vasovegal faint and explained it to me, she was spot on, so it's a combination of heat, stress and a drop in blood pressure, all that fits and bloods were done because anaemia can cause it as well.  I'm obviously not that bad as 8 days later there are no results, so no news is good news.  Hubby is having such coughing fits its horrendous and without being mean, is doing my head no good at all!!  No phone call from the McMillan nurses so hopefully they are coping with our form.  I was going to Teesside Park to Christmas shop but it's wet, foggy and cold so I'm staying home.  I went out yesterday and it was so hot in Boots the chemist I thought I was going to pass out again, no staff so stood for ages then practically threw the money at her and left.  Perhaps if these shops kept the heating down when we've got coats, scarves and hats on we might not be having a climate emergency.  So it's knitting for me and spaghetti and meatballs for tea.  See you soon.  Love Carol x 

Hi Carol I'm afraid I don't know how old eather you or hubby is, but do you know, either DLA or PiP finish at pension age, and quite a few other things as well. I'm entitled to carer's allowance but i can have either that or my pension, can't have both. Just hoping you already knew. Hope you both get a lot better soon... Love Billy xxx