Probably because I don't know how!  Give me a clue what to do. Caz

Minus one degree and its freezing,  I don't have a hangover so that's good.  Lisa rang they'd been sledging yesterday as the schools were closed.  They were going to see How to train your Dragon 3, she's such a good Mum despite working full time there is always time for Harry.  Before we went out last night I had got everything ready for hubby even putting cufflinks in ready for him.  I got out the shower and it started!  Bloody hell I can't remember how to tie my tie, you've given me the wrong shirt the cufflinks won't go through as there's no hole, you've washed and pressed my oldest trousers, this collar on my shirt is too stiff!  I kept running into his room in my underwear wringing wet hair, no make-up  I take his tie put it round my neck and tie it, that's not right he says I want a Windsor knot, I'm sorry I tell him when I went to school we girls didn't need a Windsor knot, he'd taken his cufflinks out so I put them back in, you're sitting down all night, no one will see your trousers, he gets so stressed about going out I end up drying my hair and getting dressed in the ten minutes left before the bus arrives!  Sue I'm a little lost on the deaf school I'm not sure who goes as I don't remember you mentioning it before.  Annie, welcome back safely, it sounded like a lot of fun, kids love the snow and Faye has sent me videos of her two sledging, they live in Harpenden so lots of snow too.  See you tomorrow. Xx

Hi Ladies,

Annie, Welcome back.  Sounds like the kids had a ball.  I am doing reasonably well, have days where I get upset very easily, but overall when I think of others I've known who have lose their husband, I am doing better than some.  We went tonight for Stevies birthday dinner, we'd all been there about an hour and friends of Neils and mine came in so I went over to them, of course said we were there for Stevies 5th birthday and Don said it was a shame Neil wasn't there in pereon but that he was here, just not in person, I was reduced to tears.  I think of him, talk to him and it doesn't usually have me in tears, but it does help a lot to keep busy.  I haven't done an thing with any of his clothes, can't bring myself to sort them yet, although I want his car gone, no sentimental ties to that beast, and it is, it's a very loud supercharged subaru, that is stuck in gear, he had intended having it fixed, but still not fixed.  One day soon.

Carol, Mary's 70th sounds like a fun night once you got there.  The chambord tequila prosecco sounds interesting.  Food sounds wonderful.  You're lucky you don't have a hangover.  I've seen videos of people trying to walk on ice, not sure I would even attempt it, I would surely end up on my backside.   I went to secretarial school also when I was 16,  I doubt anyone would walk home now in the snow, buses tend to run later for a start but Mum/Dad or someone would pick then up now.  Bree has taken her lot to see How to Train your Dragon, they all loved it, both the kids and Bree.  I thought I had mentioned both of Bree's boys (twins) have hearing issues, Sebastian is deaf, Colby while not totally deaf doesn't hear a lot, so they both attend a deaf school about 20 kms from home, a bus picks then up at 7.30 each morning and takes them to school, and brings them home each afternoon at 4.30.  Both wear hearing aids.  I'll post a pic of them with Neil, excuse the mess, it's never tidy when the kids come, its like a whirlwind has gone through.  You should be able to see their hearings aids.  
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Stevie's hearing is fine so she goes to a local school just around the corner from where they live.

Take care, and stay warm.  Lots of love Sue xx

I've had the afternoon from Hell!  Hospital appointment and I ended up parking in the staff car park, I got out the car looking for a pay machine and then saw all the signs saying permits only.  By the time I found the main car park I was in a queue with 20 other cars trying to get through the barrier,  I finally made my 3.15 appointment at 3.30pm.to find the clinic was an hour behind, this meant I ended up in the tea time home going traffic and got home at 6pm, poor hubby looked really worried and was pleased to see me home.  His car is ready so he will be back on the road tomorrow  Sue I hadn't realised about the twin's hearing problems, they look gorgeous little boys,  you must adore them.  I don't think I have ever been attached to a car but I do like my bright red Beetle it's fun to drive, mind I'm lucky I didn't prang it today trying to park in tiny spaces.  I think you are doing really well and I think a lot of it is to do with having other interests and friends separately from your marriage.  Norman and I have always been together and apart for our hobbies.  He's losing a little bit of weight now and is looking well.  We've obviously been lucky as his diagnosis was not good.  We're aiming for our Golden wedding which will be an achievement on his part.  Mind it takes him a few days to recover from a night out!  Feet up now and let my blood pressure go down.  Xx

Hi there.  Hospital parking  is always a nightmare.  You  think they must work out how many cars will visit them each day and then decide to cut the parking spaces available to about half the needed number.  I won't drive to the hospital any more unless I have an appointment first thing in the morning - and really the car park at my preferred hospital is huge compared to other nearby hospitals. Bless you Sue for not minding my asking questions;  I cannot see it matters how long you hang on to Neil's personal things; it's your home and your life. Re the boys is there some genetic problem that has resulted in them having hearing problems?  Am having a quiet evening - Paul is playing poker in the pub with his mates.  I took Muffin out into a small woodland area next to the railway - it was rather muddy and he is a white dog.  Enough said.    Carol, I love reading about yoru escapades - they remind me of something that might have been written a comic of my youth,  "The perils of Carol" or something like that.  Annie

Dear Annie, you are right I do seem to have a life that is always full of perils!  I know when I worked at the Court my days were the same and everyone said I should write a book because it was always so funny, if it's going to happen I'll happen to me.  Hospital visits are hard now, it's all so fast paced and so vast, I didn't want to go but if things get w then I will in trouble for not going!  All the snow has gone so its easier to get about.  Norman used to play poker every Friday he loved it, unfortunately now our local doesn't allow it.  My brother has two bearded collies they are a nightmare to keep clean and cost a fortune to keep washed and trimmed.  Signing off now as I have been writing to others on messaging.  Lovely to hear from you. Xx

Hi Ladies,  The hospital carpark woes will all be worth it if they sorted our your problem.  I don't think too many hospital carparks are any better,  I think here in Aus carpack spaces are getting smaller, I have a bigger sedan and with a lot even if I'm parked in the centre between the lines there is not always a lot of space.  Norman will be pleased to have his car back, so he won't be so housebound.  The boys are a handful but they are goegeous.  The day that photo was taken Neil was making paper aeroplanes with them.  They had a ball.  It was taken during the school holiday last year (maybe July).

I don't mind your questions at all Annie,  With the boys there has been testing done to try and find out if their hearing impairments are genetic, so far Bree hasn't got results, but it's possible as they were both prem (8 weeks) that their issues were caused from that or medications they were given.  As far as we know there are no other children with hearing loss in either of our families.  Neil's hearing was terrible but his was industrial deafness, not genetic.  I know what you mean about white dogs/cats outdoors when it's muddy.  Both my cats are nearly all white, My Higgins snuck out a couple of months ago and sat underneth the car, when he eventually came out he was filthy, I cleaned of what I could with baby wipes, didn't think he would appreciate a bath, and Cookie cleaned the rest over the next day or two.

I love "The Perils of Carol", it would make good reading.  Best go, as I have Eli here, Wrong time of the day for me to be posting, but as he is asleep thought I'd get on quickly before he wakes.

Take care, lots of love Sue xx

Not a good night as I had stomach ache from having a camera inserted where cameras don't need to go!!  But I'm a brave girl and go to zumba as I will see my friends.  Dorothy has had her assessment at home and they reckon there is nothing  wrong, which is what we've said all along, but her results from the brain scan are not back so fingers crossed that all is well.  We've got the car back so he's happy.  It's cold, damp and foggy here but the snow has gone and my violas are poking their colourful heads up and a little bit of spring is showing.  We reckon the birds are mating already as we have a lot of pairs flying around, a pair of great coal *** with bright yellow tummies and little black helmets, they are beautiful, a pair of Robins with big fat red breasts, I am watching Ride Upon the Storm about Church and Priests through the ages and it was said that the Robin got his red breast from Jesus's blood on the cross as he sang to him and tried to comfort him.  What a brilliant thought that is.  I've been reading today on the forum about bad experiences when being told you have cancer.  I have mentioned this previously and it's a shame that more training isn't in place, I can understand that it's their everyday job but it's our very first experience of being told you have cancer and it's never easy.  I actually have a free week, no plans and it seems weird not knowing what is ahead!  Still a good book, a warm house, a husband who is quite content at the moment, what more could I ask for?  Take care my lovely girls. Xx

Hi Ladies,

Carol, I hope you are feeling better after the camera.  The home assessment for Dorothy was good news at least, hope the scan results are also good.  Your weather still doesn't sound too good although at least the snow has gone.  Violas are gorgeous, I love them, they are such cheerful flowers, and I guess it won't be too long before you have spring, and I'll have the miserable weather.  Today isn't too bad as far as temperature goes, but it is very humid and we are expecting an storm to come through, have just been listening to warnings about it, hence I'm posting now as may not be able to later.
There are a lot of Doctors who need more training with giving patients bad newsYhey could be brilliant with the medical but not when dealing with the patient..  We were fortunate as all Neil's were very caring when giving us any bad news.
I've had a sort of busy week, Eli yesterday, today he was supposed to be in care, but as he has a virus, I had him, although after having him he was fine today, his usual happy self, yesterday was a different story though, he was miserable and his temp rose whenever his paracetamol wore off.  I had aqua balance (hydrotherapy) on Monday, another class tonight but I don't think I'll go with the weather as it is.  Then Saturday evening I'm going to Melbourne again as there is a dinner for one of Neil's old workmates that is retiring.

Hope you are all doing well.
Take care, lots of love  Sue xx

I have the first hope of spring in my garden too; the spring flowers are determinedly making their way to the surface.  Shame nobody has told the weather though.  Also it is lovely watching the birds.  I have a bird feeder in the back garden (I hasten to add that my garden is small, back and front, but enough to attract the wildlife)  I put food out for the foxes each night; they need it in the cold weather.  I got up about 3pm last night because Muffin was making a fuss to go out for a wee and I saw a fox looking around where I leave the food but it had already been eaten.  So I took pity on him and found something more for him to eat.  It ran off as I opened the door but I could see it watching me from a distance and came back as soon as I went back inside.  They are all so lovely to watch.  The small birds hang onto the feeder to eat and the bigger ones bash the feeder about so food falls on to the ground where they can eat it more easily.    When my mum was terminally ill with her cancer (long time ago now) one day when at the hospital my dad pointed out the doctor who had broken the bad news.  He said he had sympathy for the man because when he had been a young police constable he had  sometimes to knock on people's doors to tell them their loved ones had died (not everyone had phones - this was not long after WW2).  He said he could still recall the feeling of standing on someone's doorstep knowing you were about to tear their world apart; awful.  Glad Eli is okay now, Sue.  When I was helping my sister care for her grandchildren a few days ago Fin - the four year old - was bashing tunelessly on one of his musical toys.  Dance, Anne, dance (he said) so I started a graceless dance, boogeying on down to get somewhere near his level.  My wicked sister was filming it all and the next day I had the embarrassment of it being on Facebook; a most graceless performance.  Annie

Hi Ladies,

Have a break in the storm, more still expected.  But all calm for the moment.  I love storms, the lightning the trees blowing, the thunder.  I often stand at the front door watching, or I sit in darkness waiting for the room to light up.  I don't think I could ever have done a job that involved giving people that kind of news.  Just too heartbreaking.  I'm heartbroken for friends of my daughters,  She went to hospital yeterday, only had 2 weeks before her baby was due.  Tonight or tomorrow she;ll have a stillborn baby girl. They have 2 boys, 4 and 2 years old.  I can't imagine how difficult and heartbreaking this is for them. It was only a couple of weeks ago I ran into Rach and the boys at the supermarket, she said she was getting tired (understandable with 2 active boys) but looking forward to the coming birth.  Now this.  Deana was asking me what she can do to help them.  To be honest I have no idea apart from taking meals, but it really doesn't seem enough.

That's how it is now Annie, everybody has mobile phones with camera and video, anything happens and someone always gets theirs out to video it, and of course then it ends up on social media somewhere.  Luckily there isn't too much of me on social media that I know of, I think the worst of me is a picture of me wearing a toilet paper wedding dress (from Bree's bridal shower).

Hope you are all having a better day.

Take care.lot of love Sue xx

Hi Ladies,

Have a break in the storm, more still expected.  But all calm for the moment.  I love storms, the lightning the trees blowing, the thunder.  I often stand at the front door watching, or I sit in darkness waiting for the room to light up.  I don't think I could ever have done a job that involved giving people that kind of news.  Just too heartbreaking.  I'm heartbroken for friends of my daughters,  She went to hospital yeterday, only had 2 weeks before her baby was due.  Tonight or tomorrow she;ll have a stillborn baby girl. They have 2 boys, 4 and 2 years old.  I can't imagine how difficult and heartbreaking this is for them. It was only a couple of weeks ago I ran into Rach and the boys at the supermarket, she said she was getting tired (understandable with 2 active boys) but looking forward to the coming birth.  Now this.  Deana was asking me what she can do to help them.  To be honest I have no idea apart from taking meals, but it really doesn't seem enough.

That's how it is now Annie, everybody has mobile phones with camera and video, anything happens and someone always gets theirs out to video it, and of course then it ends up on social media somewhere.  Luckily there isn't too much of me on social media that I know of, I think the worst of me is a picture of me wearing a toilet paper wedding dress (from Bree's bridal shower).

Hope you are all having a better day.

Take care.lot of love Sue xx

I also love storms its nature at its most frightening and shows us how small we all are in the scheme of things.  Right Annie I want that face book post, at least we get to see what you look like, seeing you already know what We look like!  Did zumba with Mary, worked hard and enjoyed it then came home and ate the birthday cake she gave me, oh well swings and roundabouts.  We're off to the Metro Centre tomorrow for a little shopping, Mary has an apartment in Teneriff so she wants lighter clothes, I don't want anything but you never know, shopping is in my blood and I'm pleased to say that my girls have inherited that gene.  Hubby went off in his repaired car to check his buggy and is now tucking into M&S Yorkshire pud with beef and bread and butter pudding, obviously not on the same plate.  I hope Eli is better, children are so up and down it's never the same each day.  I hope Julie is OK and Gloria, they both seemed to be coping well last time, so let's hope all is going to plan.  Love to all of you. Xx 

A good shop with Mary, I know what suits her and choose expensive things as despite having money she buys T shirts I'd do my housework in!  So I turn into her Personal Shopper and everything looks lovely on her.  I buy a leopard print chiffon dress from Mango for the princely sum of seventeen pounds, it won't do up over my boobs but I'm going to wear it as a coat over trousers and a black camisole.  I get home and show hubby, urrgh I don't like that he says, pulling a face, good job I won't be with you then when I wear I tell him, he shuts up!!  So I dry my washing, carry it upstairs and the tie belt of my pyjama bottoms gets caught in the workings of the stair lift and catapulted me backwards Down the stairs, I hit my hip off the downstairs toilet door which flies open as a certain person hadn't shut it fully, meaning I end up upside down on the loo floor twisting my wrist, hubby had just nodded off in the conservatory but hears me groaning, are you OK he shouts, I'm alright I think so he goes back to sleep. Men! !  So Annie says I'm like the Perils of Carol and I've just realised the original was The Perils of Penelope Pittstop  the things you remember.  I'm not cooking tonight he's getting an M&S ready MEAL!  Love to you all. Xx

Hi Ladies,
Sounds like your day shopping with Mary was a very productive day.  What do our husbands know of women's clothes/fashion.  I had one outfit Neil hated and I always got compliments when I wore it.
Strange day today, I thought it was Saturday, so was getting ready for go to Melbourne.  Deana rings me and then says she has to go.  She usually only does that when she's working.  So I kept getting ready,  She rings me back 5 mins later and I say to her, "What are you doing in the shop on a Saturday afternoon?"  She response, "Mum, it's Friday!".  Did I ever feel silly, just as well she rang me or I would have gone to Melbourne for nothing.
I made a dellicious Madras curry last night, it smelt so good when it was cooking,  You need to be more careful, falling down the stairs.  I hope you aren't black and blue today.  How does everything feel today, not too sore I hope.  I used to watch The Perils of Penelope Pittstop as a kid,  I knew what Annie was referring to but I couldn't remember the name of it.  After you falling down the stairs, the Perils of Carol is even more apprioriate .
I think our summer is over, definitely getting cooler, almost down to single digits for the overnight tonight, days not too bad but only in the 20's for the forseeable future.  Your days will start to get warmer, and I;ll be the one complaining about how cold it is.

Love to all, take care.  Sue xx

Hi girls, I slept until 9.30am today and hubby nearly had a fit as he was having bloods done at 10.45!  I did ache but I stuck voltarol on my bruise after a hot shower and then went to Tesco.  Faye faced timed us with Ella in the bath she tells me her best friend Erin has had her hair cut into a Bob, just like yours Grandma she says.  She then tells us that she's Never getting her hair cut and is growing down to her bum and to prove her point sticks her naked bum in the air!  We've gone out in the very windy weather and I've bought a new bedside cabinet for the kids room. Then I ordered a new wooden shed as our garage is a mess.  This is the problem when one of you has cancer because trying to do other jobs  on top of normal jobs just doesn't happen.  I've just had a phone call from Pauline, she's back from her two month travels, daughter lives in America and then she met friends in Venice, what a life she has but without her beloved David as he died of brain cancer.  Anyway it's her birthday so she's having a prosecco and nibbles  ladies day Monday afternoon, I'll have to beg a lift off he who isn't going.  Getting days muddled up is funny because once you have it in your head that it's that day then it's that day all day!  I've shopped today instead of Saturday so here's the betting that tomorrow I will think it's Sunday.  Love to you all. Xx

Hello all

Well we are all fine!  This round of chemo has been much easier than the last, next to no diarrhoea , just very tired.  The hernia is playing up however, which is frustrating, but today has been a good day and tomorrow Matilda is coming to visit.  Can't wait to see her - it' s been a few weeks.  

Dave is still in good spirits and if it wasn't for the hernia he'd be fine.  Next round is Wednesday, then he's halfway through.  We have managed to get up to Kendal for short periods but can't do any serious walking which frustrates him.

I hope you are all ok. I do think about you all.  

Be in touch soon.

Julie xx

How great to hear from Julie and enjoy your short stay in Kendal.  Cancer is frustrating as it stops so many normalities of every day life.  It's good that Dave is in good spirits as it certainly bouys you along.  I've been really busy today, I've changed all the bedside cabinets around and thrown out all sorts, the girls had a drawer each which haven't been touched for years so everything has gone in the bin.  There was even baby soap and. Powder from when Alfie was a baby and he's now eleven!  Hubby as usual tries to get me to sort through it but I stand my ground and it goes in the bin regardless.  Off to the tip. Back home we decided to tidy up the garage and he's hoovered up for me as well.  So a good day's work done and he feels happy that he's contributing to it. When my neighbour came in to carry the cabinet upstairs I said make us a cup of tea and he said that was all he was good for nowadays!  I must admit I do ache from the stair episode but I should be fine by Monday and I'm sure the prosecco will be good for me.  Sue I hope you had a smashing time in Melbourne and actually turned up on the right day!!  Xx

Hi Ladies,

It's wonderful news that Dave is nearly halfway through his chemo and feeling good.  Enjoy your visit from Matilda, and your trips to Kendal, it's a shame you haven't been able to manage any walks.  Hoprfully it won't be too long before you are able to enjoy your walks again.

You have been busy Carol.  I'd be more surprised if you weren't sore from your fall yesterday, the prosecco will help ease any lingering effects.  Enjoy a glass for me while your at it.  I thoroughly enjoyed my evening out.  Paul has retired and when he gets all his affairs in order and houses sold he along with his wife and mother are moving back to England.  He came out here after his divorce from his first wife.  He has 2 daughters still in England, so moving back there,  Cheaper all round, he used to pay for his daughters to visit every year.  They are all looking forward to going although will miss friends they have here.  Most of them have said they'll have accomodation if they visit.  Today was the right day.  Still can't figure out how I lost a day, just thankful Deana rang me.  It was good I was able to thank a few for the day they came down here and took Neil in the truck, wasn't sure a couple of them knew just how much that day meant to Neil  He had a ball, and loved driving the truck that last time, and it was just the guys.

I'm off to bed. have a great day.
Take care and love to all.  Sue xx

So after my busy day and rubbish TV I decided to have an early night and read my book The Olive Tree (brilliant).  I don't normally take a drink up but I had bought some elderflower cordial so I took a glass of that with me.  Washed and PJs on I climb into bed and sigh with relief at my comfy position, plump my pillows up, settle back and my pillow falls off the bed, knocks my full glass of cordial over!  It's now pouring down my bedside table, flooding my radio alarm, my earrings are drowning in a sea of sticky suff in my little moon shaped dish, all my books are dripping with it and my watch floating in it.  I have to get out of bed mop everything up, empty dishes pull the cupboard away from the wall, it's dripped in my drawer so my knickers are soaking wet and by the time I mop it up I've got wet knees so have to change my bottoms, so much for an early night!  Anyway it's 3.5 degrees here but sunny we're off for a ride out even though hubby has a really stiff neck again, if it's like mine was the other week I know how he feels.  I am going to buy some hyacinth bulbs and put them in a pot for the conservatory, the smell is always amazing   Hubby is watching The Hairy Bikers food show, he lovea it but it hasn't encouraged him to try cooking.  Sue I'm so pleased you enjoyed your evening out, I've just bought a bottle of prosecco for Pauline, I prefer wine but it's not my birthday!  It's a shame Paul is moving back losing good friends is hard, Mary is going to Teneriff for two weeks  and I miss her terribly in that time.  So pleased Julie has posted if it's as nice where she is as here she will have a pleasant time.  Off for a bite if lunch before we leave.  Love to all of you. Xx

I've just got home after going to Pauline's birthday party at 3pm!  Once again a little bit worse for the wear but feeling OK, can these friends of mine drink, they're still going strong but five hours is enough for me, but we have had a laugh!  Hubby is not too good today, bad back and thinks he has a urine infection so not in a good mood.  He rang the GP but at 10am so obviously wasn't getting an appointment.  He then started arguing with me because I said he would have to see the Doctor, I'm Not arguing with him as it gets out of hand as his suppressed anger comes out.  I'm Comfy on the sofa now in my PJs and hoping I make my zumba class tomorrow!  Xx

I ring the surgery at 8am number 50 in the queue.  I pass the phone to hubby and make tea, his back is really bad so I think he now has a kidney infection.  I manage my class and back home its been confirmed that he has a kidney infection, he admits he knew there was a problem a few weeks ago, I just shake my head and say nothing.  So it's that bad we've cancelled James Cook until the 26th.  I now have an afternoon to myself, which is unexpected and decide to do nothing.  I have a massive bruise on my leg from my fall down the stairs and my back aches too!  We did laugh yesterday at the party after all the prosecco  the lady parts health issues all started being discussed, it's amazing how many women are wearing slings due to problems after giving birth.  Mary (not my Mary) said she'd put so much weight on that she now looked like she had two bums, due to her vertical C section scar.  She's trying to lose weight for a wedding in May, what do you do she asks me to stay slim, so I tell her.  Ooh can I come with you, where is it, what time is it on, 10am I tell her, oh *** that she says I'll still be in bed!  I have a feeling that a pair of spanx will be ordered to combat the double bottom.  Sue had had a new knee so was walking with a stick, crikey I think she needs to lose some weight, then I hear her tell someone else that she had lost two stone to have the operation, glad I never said anything.  Brenda has a detached retina but won't wear her spectacles and spends all afternoon squinting, I love  your glasses she says, I've got some but hate wearing them, I'm sure she'd look a lot better if she did!  Ina had a chest infection so trying to escape her I knock my glass over and it goes down Mary's back, she tells me her top is brand new and she was going to return it to the shop today, I don't think that's going to happen now.  So I suppose my health is a lot better than a lot of them and I'm one of the oldest!  Going to make a cup of tea for the invalid and hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon, we've got a busy week next week.  Love to you all. Xx