Probably because I don't know how!  Give me a clue what to do. Caz

Dear Carol; I haven't meant to abandon you .  Am just about to get ready to go to the hospital for my first physio appointment for the dreaded leg.  When I come back I will take the time you read your recent posts and take in what you have been going through.    I am sorry for havng been a crosspatch and somewhat all over the place recently!  Annie

Hi ANNIE,  I've never thought you a cross patch.  We all have our personal problems and they make us cross.  Good luck with the poorl foot and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Carol xx

I've just dashed out in the pouring rain to pick everything up after everyone has gone.  I know I normally have busy days but the last five have gone in a blur of children,  adults, cooking, eating, drinking,  going to the park,  meeting  everyone for an Italian meal and sweltering in the heat. !!  The children have enjoyed themselves and hubby has not been too bad although my attempts to not sit him near the little ones failed, so Harry got it in the neck again for playing with his ice cream!     He doesn't have the patience to deal with chatty boys,  he's used to watching TV, reading the papers and little else.  Anyway we've survived and I know deep down its better just us two however I need to see my lovely grandchildren.   We all adore each other and I want to keep that closeness.  So my poor swollen feet are up on the sofa,  hubby is in his usual place and apart from the cancer, life is OK.  See you tomorrow 

For some reason,  unbeknown to us mere mortals, a police helicopter flew round and round our house from 11pm until nearly midnight plus it was so hot it just contributed to not getting to sleep.  The heat is making his toe sore and sleep is hard to come by!     I can't be bothered to do any work so I meet Mary in town and we're going to see Mama Mia with Joe, I ask if she minds me going with them and she says they're past necking in the back row.  I have spent the afternoon watching Game of Thrones and looking for my son in law's house keys which he's somehow  lost.  A quick tea as we're sick of eating!  Another thunderstorm has just cooled us down it would be nice too sleep better tonight .  

Hello again I was just coming in the direction of your posts (not about the police watching your home, your dark secret will be safe with me!) to ask if you could take a look at Charlie59 who has been diagnosed with lung cancer and seems a bit lost.  I told him that a lot of people have experience of either having lung cancer or caring for a loved one who has and I of course thought of you who could perhaps "talk" to him if you can manage it.

Thank you for your good wishes.  I have been given sets of exercises and I have to have a cycle of hydrotherapy which I know nothing about, starting on 1 August.  I am going to have to buy a new swimsuit (or bathing costumes as we used to call them in my younger days) as I not long ago got rid of my last one (before the moths got to it).  But can I get a "modest" bathing costume - can I sugar!  I looked on line but to get it quickly delivered I have to pay more than the cost of the swimsuit so I will have to take myself shopping tomorrow.  I think I really want to have one of those old bathing dresses that my grandmother might have worn - they seem to be in the shops again!

You seem to be busier than ever.  I had a (for me) busy day yesterday - going to the hospital in the morning, doing some of the housework which I had ignored (my excuse: the heat was too much for my leg) for a few days then meeting up with one then another friends, then cooking dinner.  Paul complained that I was falling asleep and not listening to him (tough: he never listens to me and frequently falls asleep in the evenings) but it seems to be different rules for men.

I hope Lisa is okay now and hasn't had any more recent asthma attacks.  By the way I think you are right to keep that closeness with family.  I know you don't want to involve your problems in their lives but they are obviously keen to stay close and, well, family are family. 

What am I going to do with this dog?  It is pouring with rain again - which he dislikes; the thunder has been frightening him and he is a bit all over the place (I know the feeling).  Best wishes to you as always.  Annie

Hi ANNIE,  of course I'll try to help Charlie, if I can.  My brother has always had Dulux dogs,  Winston was terrified of thunder and fireworks and shook uncontrollably every time, we had to shut windows, doors everything to settle him but he's in doggy heaven now.  Swimming costumes are a nightmare I didn't like them years ago ,never mind approaching seventy, get a kaftan and take that off just as you get in.  Mind when you see some women, they obviously don't care what they look like!  Norman was asleep at the table on Thursday night but still wouldn't go to bed, so I just left him, if there'd been a big bang I would have got up,  men they are terrible at doing as you say, even for their own safety.  So I'll try Charlie now and see what happens.  Xx

Another thunderstorm and it's cooler for us both.  A quiet day as we are both a little tired and it's so quiet after all the family have gone.  My son in law calls to ask if I've found his house keys.  I check the sofa where he had a little nod off,my handbag as he chucked everything in it when we went trampolining.   I ring the place to see if he left them there after jumping around with the children,  but no luck!  Three hours later he texts to say he hadn't even brought them with him from his house, he says he owes me a bottle of wine,  I look forward to receiving it! I'm binging on Game of Thrones and having an early night as we're on the razzle dazzle again tomorrow.   Take care all of you.

Well I took really poorly last night, I think the heat, lack of sleep and so many people caught up with me plus all the food we've consumed.  I usually have a simple diet topped up with white wine or vodka but my stomach rebelled fiercely to it all last night.  We've still managed to go out for lunch with our friends and I didn't have any dessert, which is pretty annoying ! Hubby looked very smart, back home he's had to take his shoes off as they are killing his poor toe.  At least I don't have to cook tea so I have the rest of the day off.  Lisa starts her new job tomorrow so I've left a message saying I hope all goes well.  I'm going to have a nod off now, tomorrow is a busy day and I need my energy back on form.  Xx

Yesterday went by in a blur of washing, cleaning and gardening.   My clematis was growing like a triffids and as usual his lordship decided it needed cutting back.   So ladders out and a rake (he was still in bed!)  And I got most of it down as it was going to grow into the security box on the wall.  Hubby comes down saying I didn't need to do it straight away,  it was just a suggestion!   I explained about the box, he looks at me bemused , what box, I explain, guess what we don't have a box at the back of the house.   This conversation is held through the kitchen window so I'm shouting at him.  I storm in the house covered in bits of clematis clinging to my hair and nearly drag him out by the scruff of his neck to prove it exists!  This chemo has a lot to answer for,  his brain is working at a lower percentage nowadays.  So off he goes to see Luke and get out of my hair.  By five thirty I'm beginning to panic thinking he's fallen into the rough when he finally turns up.  All is well, it's just seven hours missing is like seven  days once upon a time for us.  James Cook today to put more bend in his leg so he doesn't fall over!!  See you tomorrow 

Sorry you have had a bad tum; maybe you didn't have enough alcohol!I   I was given three exercisis to do regularly by the physiotherapist but promoptly forgot one of them before I even reached home.  So I do the other two and invent other ones that feel as though they are stretching my leg muscles.  I will have to confess when I see the physio.  My sister came through with a swimsuit that she had bought in the Christmas sales but which was a bit tight for her.  It is okay for me; I would have bought a plain back one and this is blue with a few flowers but hey, so what.  My leg is really itchy and I cannot stop scratching it at night; really bad.  Thanks for talking to Charlie.  We have had thunderstorms and a lot of wind the last few days although the sun has come out again this afternoon. I rewashed some of the washing which I did yesterday; my cotton trousers don't need ironing if they dry in ther sun and wind; anything to avoid unnecessary work. I am taking Muffin out with a friend's little dog; her dog is a nervy rescue dog also who tends to snap at other dogs so we are trying to get them friendly with each other.  So far so good; Muffin is not at all aggressive and just backs off if another dog snaps. So I am hoping the other little dog will gain confidence.  Cheers.  Annie

Sorry you have had a bad tum; maybe you didn't have enough alcohol!I   I was given three exercisis to do regularly by the physiotherapist but promoptly forgot one of them before I even reached home.  So I do the other two and invent other ones that feel as though they are stretching my leg muscles.  I will have to confess when I see the physio.  My sister came through with a swimsuit that she had bought in the Christmas sales but which was a bit tight for her.  It is okay for me; I would have bought a plain back one and this is blue with a few flowers but hey, so what.  My leg is really itchy and I cannot stop scratching it at night; really bad.  Thanks for talking to Charlie.  We have had thunderstorms and a lot of wind the last few days although the sun has come out again this afternoon. I rewashed some of the washing which I did yesterday; my cotton trousers don't need ironing if they dry in ther sun and wind; anything to avoid unnecessary work. I am taking Muffin out with a friend's little dog; her dog is a nervy rescue dog also who tends to snap at other dogs so we are trying to get them friendly with each other.  So far so good; Muffin is not at all aggressive and just backs off if another dog snaps. So I am hoping the other little dog will gain confidence.  Cheers.  Annie

You're probably right Annie, alcohol seems to keep things at bay!!  Fully fit now which is good as I'm out eating and drinking tomorrow  and Christine and  John have just called to invite us to their joint birthday party on Sunday.  Glad you got a cossie sorted, doesn't matter what it looks like once in the water.  Charlie never replied so not sure if it helped him.  I've found quite a few people post asking for help but then never reply.   But they maybe take the advice anyway.  The rain has been a blessing I feel so much better and sleep doesn't elude me on a nightly basis.  Sounds like we are all having thunderstorms and heavy rain, but we need it.  Take care, Carol 

I've had a lovely day.   Zumba this morning,  back home I say I'm mowing the lawn but z I'm not allowed as I'm going out with Joe and Mary.  Hubby tells me to ring our lady gardener to do it for me.  He's going to Richmond but the ladies have a special day so the course isn't free.  The movie Mamma Mia was very entertaining,  Bella Italian was superb, we drank lots of good wine and plenty of chat.  I arrive home and my cousin calls, so a full hour later we realised how long we'd been catching up and arrange to meet up soon.  Hubby is watching the new NCSI. and has fed himself for the first time in months, so a step in the right direction for him.  At this rate we may make it out of County Durham.  See you tomorrow 

Well so much for my bragging last night about my lovely day, this  morning I wake with raging toothache and am now drugged up to the eyeballs on ibuprofen.   He's trying to get me to the dentist but I've an appointment on the 16th, so I hope to hang on until then as I KNOW this tooth is coming out and I'm terrified of the pain.  The last time he tried to do it he lifted me out of the chair because it wouldn't budge!   My car was booked in for service, Lookers your booking in centre is the worst I've known Eight minutes of questions,  data protection rubbish, do I want to give money to Children in need as they're sponsoring them, no I don't,  I just want to book my car in!  Do I want to pay monthly for a service plan. Do I want my air conditioning doing for a £79, I just want a service I say, sorry we have to follow the computer drill.  Long story short, it won't be going back there!  My gardener never replied so I've had to mow a lawn that had mushrooms growing on it as it was so long.  Hubby is chill axing while I do all this and because of my pain, it's annoying! !  I've managed a muffin and cream cheese as the tablets need something to soak them up, I've a feeling the vodka might come in handy tonight,  oh and according to the Daily Mail, drinking wine prevents dementia, now where did I put that vodka?  Hopefully see you tomorrow. 

Well the vodka and painkillers helped and I slept all night, however I left early for town, making sure hubby either took me straight away,, without the usual cup of tea, medication and a partly completed cross word being done first. He's still wittering on about his toe but I ignore him as I've heard this for months and my pain is worse than his and newer, so there!  At the dentist I'm told that my dentist is on holiday, sods law being what it is, but another one can see me at 1.30 pm,  I grab that appointment , meet Mary, nibble on a cheese scone, slurp a coffee through my front teeth like a rabbit, go back home, get ready and drive into town again.  So I have TMD. And an underlying infection.   This is all down to grinding my teeth for a year and a half, so thank you cancer,  you've not only caused my Hubby problems you've made  me ill as well!  I now have jaw exercises to do, a soft diet (does vodka count?)  and sit with a hot water bottle on my jaw, plus I may still need the tooth out.  So we hopefully will manage the joint birthday bash together with old friends who have stood by us through the worst times and are still there for us now.  Meanwhile he's still harping on about his toe, he's had the limelight for far too long to give it up now!!  Xx

That's right; nothing like a good moan to make you feel better.   It would be sad if you had to have the tooth out after all of this. I still haven't had any hydrotherapy as they cancelled at the last moment because of some problem with the chemicals in the pool.  My leg feels like a wooden log and I am very fed up with it.  I keep flicking through the posts looking for your logo - I cannot be bothered to just look it up in the Search - then I get distracted by something, maybe someone who still hasn't had a reply  - then I get carried away.  Thanks for doing Charlie, as you say lots of people don't reply but I suppose it doesnt matter.  I tend to get carried away sometimes looking things up to get the necessary information then I get a bit miffed when there is no reply.  Totally unreasonable on my part, nobody asks me to search for information.  Has vodka got some fruit in it (I don't know) - it might count as one of your five a day?  I think this hot weather is making me really grumpy.  All I have done of use today is wash the kitchen and bathroom floors and I feel as though I have done loads of work.  Muffin is barking for a walk so I had better take him out.  Annie

Hi ANNIE,  so hot yesterday that I tackled the ironing grudgingly and perspired  through the whole lot!  I'd been putting it off for two weeks but knew it had to be done.  I'm not good in this muggy weather, it's not pleasant and the flies are really annoying!   What a shame about the treatment , my sister in law broke her ankle on Friday walking her son's puppy, she'd already had a run in with a barbed wire fence, ripping her arm to pieces.   Instead of proper shoes she had worn flip flops which is not sensible in a Church ysrd!  I've just got home from a six hour party in the garden and sleep is beckoning.   Speak soon. Xxx

We've just got home from six hours of drinking, eating and talking non stop, so much for resting my jaw!  It's been a glorious day and we all sat in the garden, everyone's been thoughtful and kind and taken care of us.  We're not the only one with problems but good friends help each other through hard times.  Lisa had three boy friends, twins and a brother who were always at our house or theirs but Stewart died on the operating table two years ago and the sadness in Mum's eyes is heart breaking to see.  It puts into perspective our situation as we've brought our children up, seen them married and welcomed grandchildren.   Stewart left two young children and a wife plus a family business that was booming, how do you cope with that loss?  So the heat the drink and the food have made us both tired and sleepy, my jaw doesn't hurt but his toe does, so no change there My sister in law broke her ankle on Friday walking her son's puppy so I'm off to see her as shes House bound again.  See you tomorrow 

So he's suffering today after our day out.  It's such a shame because we can't have a good day without a bad day to follow!   I knew  this morning when the first moan came because I opened the window , it's red hot but according to him it's blowing a gale.  We have an argument over toast as apparently I asked him to make me some (I didn't )  I'm moaned at because he can't find yesterday's puzzle page, so by eleven I tell him I'm not amused, this seems to have worked and he's now asleep!  I go and buy another cat scarer,  all because Ann saved a cat from a cat home and it's taken to prowling my green lawn ,  laying dead voles at my feet and pooing on my lawn, £22. Is spent and when I open it the blasted thing needs expensive 9 volt batteries,  I've a good mind to send her the bill!  I was all nicely dressed in a maxi dress and pretty shoes yesterday to go out when I had to get the Broom and pick up dead bodies with flies trying to devour them, yuk.  I'm out nearly every day this week, it's weird how you go from nothing to everything happening.   I've been trying to fit my brother in for weeks, must make an effort next week!  See you tomorrow 

Our day has been pretty normal and Sunday's excess drink has passed.  Zumba this morning but a new teacher is there doing ballet moves, so we all stand and grudgingly follow her wishing Kimberly would take over!  I get ready to go out and hubby takes us all. Two bottles of wine later none of us can work the bill out between five and keep ending up with too much money, leaving a ridiculous amount for a tip.  So we re calculated and still got it wrong and two of us worked for Barclays Bank!!   Mary is joining me for zumba tomorrow , she doesn't move fast at any time so I hope she keeps up.  I'm really tired now so I'm off to bed, tomorrow is another day.

This blinking toe will not heal and is causing trouble.  I leave him in bed as sleep has eluded him due to it being sore.  Mary picks me up and we do our class, first time for her but Joe is encouraging her to exercise, she's not greatly impressed but 8ver coffee says she will probably come again but I won't hold my breath!  A quick shower and I go to Richmond to see my brother who is under pressure as his main mechanic is on holiday, my brother doesn't believe in holidays, which I'm well aware of having worked along side him for seventeen years!  Off to see Sue, who is in a wheel chair and puppy sitting Luna as everyone else is at work.  I get sloppy kisses (from the Puppy not Sue)  have a cup of tea and drive back home, going round Scotch Corner roundabout twice due to the new layout.  So six sets of traffic lights later I'm heading in the right direction! !!  Hubby is safely ensconced at home as it hurts to put a shoe on, he's in good spirits though, sausage and egg for tea, a quiet night at home.   All is well apart from his blessed toe.  See you tomorrow.