Hubby sleeps for another two hours and hopefully this is a remedial snooze.  That's the problem with reading facts about cancer, is he sleeping more because of the tumour or because he had another infection, how am I supposed to know the difference?   We are both sleeping better to the point where my face had been on the pillow so long I need polly filla to fill in the creases when I get up.  This morning his arthritis has kicked in in his hands and he struggles to get shaved and dressed, it would be nice to eventually have one morning without something being wrong, it's wearing for me , never mind him..  Coffee and cake for breakfast and the birds have kicked all the soil out of my new pot.  I tootle next door and pinch some of my neighbours slate, I'll stop the pesky little things somehow.  My patio is breaking up again after all the re-grouting last year so the builder arrives just as I'm cooking tea so hubby gets involved and suddenly we're having to pay again to repair it.  I'm furious as until he butted in it was being done for nothing!  I'm spitting feathers but let it go as I'm not arguing, it's not worth it, this cancer has a lot to answer for because once upon a time I would have stood my ground, but you learn the battles that are important.   Kevin says how well he looks and calls me Florence Nightingale,  good job he was here or I would have been acting like Mike Tyson, and boxing him round the ears.  See you tomorrow    

Our builder cancels on us but we don't really mind as it's  cold and raining and we can't  be bothered to think about it, so we have stir fry for tea nd settle down for the evening.  He is looking better and this cheers us both up.  Today he's washed up for me and gone to get his car washed so pretty much a normal day.   I go and visit Margaret and take scones,  not realising she is on a liquid diet for four weeks, every cloud has a silver lining she says as she needs to lose weight!  I tell her I'll pick her up for zumba and she can sit on the side lines, doing arm exercises and leg movements like the oldies do!  I speak too Faye and Ella has had a check up for her severe egg allergy but nothing is being done as she is till too allergic.   She is disappointed as it makes life difficult for her, she was at a birthday party on Saturday and couldn't have the cake so they found her some rocky road instead.  Ella is only five but she is used to this and no longer bursts into tears whilst all the others munch cake and she is left out.  Still there are worse things in life and we need to appreciate this.  Lisa is coming for next May Bank holiday so s nice weekend to look forward to. Xx

Hi again.  Hope you are okay in the cold.  You sound a bit stressed some of the time - which is not surprising - so hope you are okay.  I am having a comparatively easy day today; woke up very early with a migraine kicking the inside of my head. Too far gone to be able to stop it in its tracks with my triptan prescription; I take one in desperation and spend the next hours wanting to throw up and occasionally managing it.   Fortunately my mate Paul was around and came and took Muffin the dog under his wing when he felt it was time for his breakfast and he wanted general attention (Muffin that is, not Paul).    I just lay and groaned in bed.  I am not good at suffering; a real misery-guts.  So have just gone out to the shops and to give Muffin a walk when it briefly stopped raining; am going to do very little for the rest of the day.

Glad to learn that your hubby has got over his little bad period and is feeling better.  You must worry when he starts to droop.     Annie

Hi ANNIE,  yes I am stressed, Norman is not being responsible for anything on a day to day level and I am taking the brunt of it.  The builder hss just been and although he got involved on Saturday,  tonight he doesn't want to know, so I have made him go and talk to him about what we need to do, I'm sorry but he can't live in a cocoon, he lives here as well!  Sometimes my patience is stretched as it's  all me, me ,me and it's dragging  me down, even when I told him about Margaret he turned it back to when he was in hospital ten years ago!!  I have had horrIid migraine and it is foul, you can't think straight and the pain is incredible.   I hope you are feeling better and it's lovely to hear from you.xx

So the builder causes us more problems and as I'm  trying to cook I send hubby out who doesn't want to speak to him, he comes back in fuming and this carries on for the rest of the night.   Anything that upsets his little cocoon sends him into a spiral and I'm getting annoyed as he should be involved more in our daily lives.   The builder starts rabbiting on again about his wife who has depression,  I had all this last year with him and I don't  need hid problems, so when he tells me she is staying in bed for two days at a time, my usual happy equilibrium  snaps and I tell him I would be glad to have the chance to stay in bed for two days!!  Anyway he's  back tonight and once he gets his coffee he will be left to get on with it.  I have struggled with zumba this morning so I get home have a shower and I can hear hubby talking to some one,  it's  the lady gardener and he's agreed to her cutting the bushes at the front,  he's  actually a made a decision,  hurrah!  It's  a beautiful day and no north east winds so hubby has gone out, a chance to wash the kitchen floor, water the plants, feed the birds and have a sit down, it's  bliss, until they all land on me again! !  See you tomorrow 

I make my zumba class and really enjoy it, the music  just takes me out of the cancer life we lead.  I get home and hubby is making  his own breakfast,  Iam   trying not to do too much  so he is a little more responsible for himself.  If we get this leg sorted on Friday I am hoping to get away in June after his check up with the Oncologist.   I've  booked us into the Shaun the sheep pub for Sunday lunch and am really looking forward to seeing my Harry.  He is so like his Mum as a little girl amd he and I have the same mischievous nature so we just laugh and have fun.  Lisa has decided to stay put in her job but negotiated two days from home due to the terrible train system in the South.  I have just come back from M & S where I tried to use the self service till.  What a farce!   Not sure if it was all the wine  I was buying but it packed in after two bottles.   Staff arrive, start again, she disappears and the same thing happens again, I have to lug all the stuff to another till where the woman in front has her friend running around the store picking her shopping up whilst we twiddle our thumbs.  So back home, tea and custard tarts and feet up.  See you tomorrow 

Hubby fell over on the golf course and couldn't get up until someone came along to help him, he then whacked his newly shortened golf clubs on a tree and snapped it in half, my comment of it would be ideal for Ella, did not go down well!  Fortunately only his pride was damaged and we had a laugh about it.  Today though I have lunch with Mary, go and see the movie about the Guernsey literary society and come home happy.  This lasts for five minutes as hubby turns up covered in blood, shaking like a leaf and very upset.  He had gone to get his prescription,  left the surgery and fallen down the slope into the road and landed in front of his car.  Fortunately someone helped him up, put him in his car and sent him home.  So I've  patched his elbow, his hand,  his poorly toe and the bruises from his bracelet digging into his arm.  So much for making him more responsible for himself!!    He's  now sat with fish and chips, lots of sugary tea and painkillers, I don't  think my life will ever be easy, the cancer has damaged him beyond repair.  Oh the movie was good.  See you tomorrow 

So he has a bad night as everything is hurting him and when I take him tea early doors he just wants to stay In bed but James Cook beckons.  We get there for nine am but had forgotten that the car park had been made into pay and display.  The jobsworth was in his element issuing tickets left right and centre and hubby was up for having a row with him!  We said he couldn't walk far but we're told that wasn't his fault , get a ticket at the main car park, go to reception with the blue badge so you only pay three pounds, go back to car, get a wheelchair and off you go!!  Anyway Kay pops out and tells us to go around the back but we still pay, so off I go to the pay machine, money in, number plate to key in, what, I don't know his number so I have to walk back to the car , memorise  his number by heart and get a ticket which then has to go in the car.  What is wrong with these parking companies, they have no thought about anything but money.  So back home at noon, some lunch,  lawn mowed, garden watered and Huby puts his feet up.  He aches all over and it's  such a shame as Harry and Lisa are here tomorrow,  at least it looks like nice weather.  Enjoy your May Bank hols all of you.xx

Well its  only been just over a day since they arrived and hubby has been a pain being, grumpy, sarcastic and basically upsetting us all.  We go out for lunch which we were looking forward to but he picked on me all the way there, then Harry got it in the neck,  being told to sit up, take your feet away,  stop eating like that and mine and Lisa's stress levels were going through the roof, we'd invited Sue so it was difficult to say anything.  We left and then he tried over compensating for his behaviour but it was too late, the day was spoiled.  I hate it when he's  like this it's impossible to cope with.   He's now slept for three hours in the conservatory whilst we three played in the garden.  Although they're our family I think he's happier just us two, but that's no life for me.  Is he getting worse as he seems to be closing off from us all and pushing us away.  I loath this cancer, it's invasive in more ways than one.