I have always loved Mother's day especially when my Mum was alive.  It doesn't have to be over priced a bunch of daffodils is just as nice.  Anyway I seem to have some cards and gifts to open tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. So there!!!!!  Have a lovely day miss Grump xx

It seemed a lot more sincere when I was younger or is that just the rosy mists of time?!

I’ve got some lovely presents but I set a limit on what they could spend. It ought to be about what the present means  not what it cost. 

Suppose it’s just the creep of commercialisation.  Now I really do sound like my mother!

My lot were clueless as well sooo, got new wheel covers for my car, definitely needed! My lovely daughter is taking me out for breakfast tomorrow, slightly ulterior motive as we are meeting up with her boyfriend, his bother and his mum. The two boys don’t get to see much of their mum without her partner so this was cooked up so that they could. 

I gave my slightly detached son a couple of ideas when he asked so I’ll see what he comes up with, if anything. 

So I live in hope that I might get a cup of tea in bed but by 9.20 am I realise this is not going to happen, I think bringing tea up on the stair lift may have something to do with it!   I make tea and open my gifts whilst hubby stays in bed drinking his.  Silver three star earrings from older daughter but a printed card which I'm a little disappointed with as she has beautiful caligraphy handwriting and it's lovely to behold, but times are changing (not for the better )  so I ignore it and open younger daughter's cards,  Harry has written his himself and it's lovely and I have a beautiful hexagon mirror engraved with a personal message and white and milk chocolates saying I love Grandma.   I am so blessed with my family and feel apprecitation from all.  I go for the papers and a lovely gentleman reaches for them as he's getting his and passes them to me, I bump into one of my Legal clerks from the Court and we catch up on hubby and her Mum, who has just had cataract surgery and has been ringing her to say she can see the snow!  I get home, grab a coffee and set off for Scorton with pan a raisin for me and Sue.  Lovely catch up, back home and hubby is struggling with his leg but we go for a drive, we call at the Stanwick Arms for a drink but he can't walk and is in pain, so back in the car, he's upset but I say not to worry as we have been invited out for Joe and Mary's 48th wedding anniversary on Wednesday and I'm having my 1920 themed afternoon tea at Hardwick on Thursday.  We are chilling out and he is OK now, we hope his new leg will be here soon.  Happy Mother's day to all of you struggling with cancer or caring for someone,  we all need special days to keep our spirits up.  Love Carol x

We have a quiet day, I catch up on household duties and hubby is helping when he can.  After yesterday trying to walk he has caused his wound to open again and I can see he is concerned.   I have kept out of interfering in this ongoing matter because he won't take anyone's advice.  So he asks me what he can do and I lay it straight on the line and tell him I'll only help if I can do what I think is best.  He's agreed and I'm hoping this will help heal it as he still has holes in his skin from weeks ago.  Cancer is vile and the treatment not only kills the growth but everything else, I know we are told this at the beginning but you hope it won't , how naive we were and one year on we are still coping.  I sometimes wonder if you met those going through it you would have a better understanding , but is it better to be ignorant ànd cope with the unknown?  We will see how long this new dressing stays on before he comes up with some excuse to remove it, I won't hold my breath!  

We are up early due to an electrician coming to do some work.  I am finally having a lamp fitted that automatically comes on as you walk towards it, this should help when I come home tiddly from nights out!  I manage zumba, get back and a friend has come to see hubby, the electric guy is still here but says the lights are working.  So I grab a shower wrap a towel round me and lo and behold I've got no electric.  I try shouting out the shower  window but he can't hear me, so I shout down the stairs and as usual hubby is shouting the wrong answer back at me!  Eventually our friend comes to the rescue and the electric guy comes running up the stairs whilst I'm naked but for a towel!  I hide in another bedroom whilst he checks everything and ten minutes later we are with light again.  I have to pop into town and the blinking lifts aren't working again,  this is so annoying when you have to lug your shopping up three flights of stairs.  Back home and we need to get some beer for neighbours birthday but hubby can't remember which one, San Miguel,  no, Stella,  no.  I give up so we pop to the village shop, go through the same guessing game with them,  I remember he says, it's corona, right we'll have some of that,  oh sorry she says we haven't got any!  So we just buy something else, get home and he's exhausted so he's now asleep in the warm conservatory.   I hope he manages to stay awake for our meal out tomorrow

We have just arrived home after a lovely evening out celebrating our best friends wedding anniversary.   Although they know hubby's state of health they still parked as far away from the restaurant door as they could!  Hubby hobbled and struggled and I was so mad that Mary said nothing and Joe thought he could cope.   No one understands how hard it is having cancer, the treatments that destroy you and the anxiety the partner has.   Hubby would have been cross if I had said anything so I had to bite my tongue.  I think I have to accept that others will never comprehend the struggle , so I'm not going to let it spoil our night, it was nice to be out together .  See you tomorrow. 

Hi.  Glad you enjoyed your evening.  It so often happens that things that seem so very clear to us are not at all apparent even to close friends.  Perhaps by the time they realised how hard it was the situation had become too difficult to raise for anyone.  We humans can be a bit strange sometimes even with people we know well.

Keep on keeping on as the saying goes.  You post so straightforwardly but I sometimes wonder how you cope with your darkest thoughts.  Thanks so much for making us feel what is happening in your world.  Annie

Hi ANNIE,  you're right, people don't get it, how could they, there's no way of comprehending other people's pain.  I try not to have dark thoughts, it doesn't help you cope!xx