Not today!!

Hi everyone,

Today has been a really bad day, I'm not so sure I can do this now, I've been putting a brace face on since I was diagnosed. But inside I can feel myself crumbling.

Everything Is not okay, I'm terrified. 

I've finally had my date for chemo confirmed, consent forms all signed. Six cycles, three weeks a cycle. I'll be having a port put in in between my first and second cycle, as my veins are not good. 

The waiting for treatment to start is painfully slow. It's less than two weeks away but that feels like an eternity right now. I'm really struggling to sleep, I'm so tried all the time, I feel sick and I don't want to eat. Everything seems so pointless.

Please tell me this is normal, that everyone goes through this, things will get better.

Sorry for the negitive post, I don't want to worry my family anymore than they already are. I just needed somewhere to vent.

 

 

  • Hi,

    So sorry to hear that you feel like this, but try not to worry. This is how most of us react and I think that you will find most people on here can relate to how you are feeling.

    Waiting for diagnosis is the most trying time for the majority of us. It can continue to be difficult until you start treatment. Even when people are struggling with the aftermath of radiotherapy or chemo, they seem better in themselves because something is finally being done.

    The tiredness you complain about should improve shortly after you have completed your treatment. If you are not sleeping at night, let yourself doze throughout the day if you can.

    I appreciate your need to try and protect your family from further worry. There are plenty of organisations you can contact who will offer support.

    While you are waiting to start chemo try to keep yourself as busy as you can. This can help to make the time pass a little quicker as two weeks can feel like a lifetime at this stage.

    Take care of yourself.

    Jolamine xx