I have had a fair bit of contact with Cancer in my family in the last 26 years, i am now 56. I have seen two uncles and one Aunt and a cousin succumb, i have seen my mum, my  husband, a brother in law , and my eldest daughter survive. I nursed my daughter through intensive chemotherapy, my husband through radical surgery and other treatments and helped nurse my mum through radical surgery, chemo and radio therapy.  And now i am facing the prospect myself... To say my emotions are mixed is an understatement.  I have suffered anxiety for many years and dont cope well after a major event often falling into a severe depression, but now i find my self so calm and settled, no denial, totally realistic and matter of fact. I wonder has anyone else experienced this as this is not what i have witnessed in others.