Chloe

this happens to everyone

as river states you will find out who your good friends are

i had throat cancer played a lot of sport and was the fittest person in my large group of friends. When I was diagnosed and went public with it, a lot of my male friends ran away. I think they were scared as if it could happen to me, then in some way they were at bigger risk ... I don't know .... Blokes are blokes and most are not good at that sort of thing

what I also found out is that some friends that were on the outside of my circle suddenly became good caring friends .... Dropping my in cards of good wishes and always asking my wife how I was.

i also found though that a lot of my friends just did not know how to talk to me .... They new if they asked me "how are you?" That the response would be about cancer and I don't think they knew how to deal with that, so that spoke to me as if I was not I'll ... Talking about football or what had happened in the village ..... And to be honest I preferred it that way as all they way through my treatment I did not want cancer to define who I was.

i also wrote a blog through the whole of my process .... This is most probable why folks never asked me anything as they already knew .... I lost all ability to talk for about 6 weeks, so did a lot of nodding during that time though

on the plus side so good friends that help you through this are friends for life....

part of your current friends absense is their lack of knowledge of what your going through and how to help you, coupled with I guess a bit of ignorance that having cancer does not mean you have a death sentence ....... If you have no knowledge of cancer that tends to be the assumption.

try writing a blog on where you are in your treatment and what you are going through, it helped me get through mine and helped a lot of people all round the world with my same diagnosis.

gammaraygary.wordpress.com/.../

or just come and talk to us on here .... We are always here to listen

Vatch