Advise please

Hi everyone I'm 26 and was diagnosed with colorectal cancer, I've been very lucky with support from most people,

except from one person I considered a friend and want some advise,every time I discuss my treatment she rolls her eyes and hasn't once shown me any supportive last time she rolled her eyes and said I've got depression but you don't hear me going on about, I feel really hurt I've only recently opened up talking about it, and she still stands by what she said,

whsg are everyone's thoughts on this? Has anyone else had anything like this happen?

  • Hi Chloe Sorry to hear your diagnosis of colorectal cancer, and the poor attitude of your friend suffering from depression is no excuse. Everyone here with cancer will recognise your story. Sometimes people just dont know how to react when someone tells them about a cancer diagnosis. They don't want to speak to you about it and may avoid visiting or seeing you. It's their problem not yours. Others just dont care and you soon find out who your real friends are. I've got to the stage now where I really need my energy for me and I can't burn it up worrying about fairweather friends. The fact you've had a lot of support from other people is great, stick with them. Kim
  • Hi Chloel

    Totally agree with Kim you certain find who your real friends are.  Some cant cope and dont know how to deal with it but will still be there for you,  some are really supportive and some just dont want to know.

    I have family and friends(or were friends) who only know that I am alive by the fact that they havent been invited to my funeral other friends and what you would call casual aquantances have been so supportive in just sending a text, e-mail or a phone call for a chat. 

    Best advice treat others as they treat you and dont worry about this friend.

  • Hello Chloe  I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis but have, what I hope, is an uplifting tale to tell you.

    I couldn't agree more with the comments of Kim and River.  When I was first diagnosed with endometrial cancer, like everyone else my world just fell apart.  I live alone and my cousin was "so concerned" about me that she said she would come over to "look after" me. I had surgery, cheomo- and radio-therapy last year and I'm still waiting for her to arrive.  I had a text from her back in May saying that she hoped I was all right!  What I'm trying to say is try not to depend on people who aren't "there" for you.  It's an awful time you're going through as we all know on the forum but, although you don't think so now, you will get through it. Now the uplifting bit. I was on holiday recently (I have to get that in when I can, ha ha) and met a lovely lady who was 86 years old.  She was such an interesting person who had had many adventures in her life not least that she and her husband were taking a cruise to celebrate the fact that she was recovering from colorectal cancer, at that age! 

    So my advice would be to try to avoid this person as much as possible.  If you do bump into her, just keep it casual.  You have plenty of other people who are supportive - us on here for example - and, as Kim said, you need all your strength to fight this, not to worry about someone who isn't worth it.

    Sorry to have gone on a bit but I hope you work things out.

    BB 

  • HEY Chloe, you moan away luv...there will be no eye rolling here..xxxx

  • Thank you so much everyone for writing back it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has been shocked and surprised by people reactions to this, 

    I think the thing I've found most difficult in this is the relisation that people really don't understand I always assumed that by now everyone was very aware of how hard cancer was but people get bored after a while everyone is mega supportive to start of with and then the liberty wears of and that's only the start of your journey, I don't think I'm asking for a lot just simply asking to be treated as I would treat other people I really appreciate all the support on here thank you so much everyone