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Im am a big worrier, talking would be great :)

Kayleigh15
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was diagnosed with a grade 2 brain tumor early in 2015. During 2015, I had 2 different brain operations, the first in February and the in June. Recently, after having constant MRI scans since my last operation, I have been told the tumor has gotten worse. Now it is grade 3. Recently I have had a third operation, and told that radiotherapy is strongly advised. I am shocked, but mainly terrified of the outcomes during and after radiotherapy. I feel my self-esteem and confidence will fall dramatically. the situation is forever on my mind. I feel that if I could talk with someone, in a similar or in the same position, I would be forever greatful.

  • Offline in reply to Kayleigh15

    Indeed i feel like i have had my life stolen away, i try to balance that by the thoughts of all the good things i have done in my life but i still feel cheated, i do think of things that will make me feel better and that's a nice holiday in the sun, i have chosen Mexico as my destination and will travel there as soon as possible, (would you like to tag along) i do feel pretty anxious and am getting that sorted at the doctors along with all the other things my lump is causing,the saying "you only live once" has never been so true and people like us have to live life as though every  day was our last, So what do you worry so much about and is there anything i could help to reduce this?

  • Offline in reply to carl78

    I feel like Iv had my life stolen too, I feel lost and trapped. I'm thinking about getting back on the antidepressant cos I feel my mood has got worse within the past week, I feel frustrated, angry, annoyed with all people, but mainly feel sad.  I'm actually scared ATM tho as I'm scared that antidepressants could effect my tumor and make it worse. What you think?

    I always think you only live once but I don't seem to be attempting to do it, stupidly cos I can't drive cos if I could I'd be off and I'd be more confident. Nowadays Iv lost a lot of confidence with others cos I feel paranoid.

    i worry lots and I feel that these days and after the 3rd operation and confirmation meeting I feel the highest worry. It's the stupid things really but it's the things I think of and I think a lot, paranoia is massively involved I feel.

    do you feel as paranoid about things as an effect?

  • Offline in reply to Kayleigh15

    I'm on antidepressants at the moment, they have me taking metrazepine and i do worry about them affecting my tumour so your not on your own there, i have started usingpublic transport again and it's so hard after driving for so long, i think it puts added strain and stress on us when we already have enough to deal with, I think you should make the effort to get out and go and do things though as you don't want to get stuck in the habbit of giving into not doing things.

    How have you been over this last few weeks, have you started you rediotherapy or know when your going to start it?

  • Offline in reply to carl78
    I'm wanting to go back on the anti-depressants I was on but they've told me that if I do then my seizures may start again. Is hours go on then cos i just can't stop crying ATM. I agree when you say that in get out more, I think about it all the time, I just don't end up doing it. I always think it's because I wouldn't know what I'd do or say to people that I see, scares me cos I think I'd feel soo much more self conscious and paranoid if I saw the ones Iv told again, this is also with work, and with family members. Btw, I'm scared of buses in Barnsley where I live, but with someone else I know that would be lots better. Do you feel the same? As the whole situation of the health situation lost you your confidence etc? I like your attitude on social things, you seem very positive on it. The last few week has been unreal. Iv had a MRI, following I was told I needed surgery 1 week later, left hospital, was called back in and told the tumor has change majority of grade 3, as a result was given lots of appointments with support and other doctors, then as a result I started radiotherapy last Thursday which I was terrified of and still am cos they possibility of losing my hair. I hear soo many different stories and different possible outcomes....I'm terrified. Have they talked about possible radiotherapy or other support you could receive? How have you been feeling this weekend? Have you become more positive about things?

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