Hi Dorby, 

Coming to terms with the impact cancer has on your life can be tough but it's really good that you have some time to think about what you want to do next. Cancer affects your life physically, practically and emotionally so take as much time as you need and do not feel pressured in to making any decisions you are not comfortable with.

In regards to treatment I have found some information on our website that might be of use to you. To find out more please click here.

Staying strong and trying to have a positive outlook will help you cope with your situation better but it can be a struggle as many of our members know and hopefully they will be along soon to offer their support and advice and share their experiences with you.

Wishing you all the best,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Dorby,

Have any of the doctors dealing with you actually used the word terminal? I ask because people often jump to conclusions when they hear words like incurable or inoperable.

There's no such thing as alternative medicine, your friends and others probably aren't qualified to give you medical advice. There's a lot of well-meaning bulls1t out there and loads of charlatans out to make a quick buck out of desperate people, flagging them alternative medicine. At best, it won't do any harm except give false hope and leaving you feeling ripped off.

Your real choice is chemo or nothing - both options have their merits. Please don't waste your money on alternative medicine - pamper yourself or go on holiday instead! Life's too short to waste it looking for a miracle cure. If there was one, we'd all be on it by now - unless you fall for the conspiracy theories. 

I'm project oriented myself. I researched the statistics and realised that I had a 5% chance of surviving for a year, so I planned for the worst but hoped for the best. Will written, funeral plans sketched out, life insurance policies put in an envelope marked appropriately along with my usernames and passwords - all the usual "getting your life in order" stuff. Whilst on chemo, I spent quite some time arranging a solo trip to India to what I think is the best beach location on the planet, searched for the best value flights and accommodation and medical insurance and flew out about a week after I came off chemo after having a CT scan. My theory was that, whatever the scan results were, I would at least have a holiday to remember and escape the bl**dy lousy winter weather and live chemo-free for a few weeks. Day-dreaming about being on the beach with a cold bottle of Kingfisher beer watching the World go by listening to the wind blowing through the palm trees got me through the most boring days receiving and recovering from chemo. 

Nor everyone's thing I know, but it helped me to have something to look forward to, other than coming off chemo. 

Best wishes and sorry for the rambling message!

Dave

Thanks for your message Dave.  Yes, two Doctors have used the word "terminal"    The liver is covered with tumors, although after my first 6 weeks of chemo, two had shrunk, and there was no new cancer growth.  The cancer mass in the colon has not changed.  

At my first family meeting, we were told 8-12 months with no chemo; 1.5 years with chemo -as an average. 

The weirdest thing - as others may share; I have no "cancer pain".  All the reactions are from the chemo - except possibly for fatigue which comes both from cancer and chemo.  

I am taking time to be with my family having rented an ocean-front home; and another time with my siblings on the other side of the country at a beautiful lake front cottage.  Rippling water and waves bring me so much peace. 

Yes, I have done all the administrative work of getting my life in order and now I just live my life day to day.  Like another person on this website wrote; he lives with 8 days of chemo reactions, leaving a few days to be positive.  I continue to have residual reactions to oxalyplatin even after having it removed after the 3rd horrible reaction.  

I will remain on chemo until the end of July, followed by a 6 week chemo, and family holiday!  

Hi Dorby,

Sorry to hear that - no wonder you don't know which of hem to believe when they are giving such different estimates. 

I guess not feeling any pain due to the cancer is how we managed to reach stage 4 without knowing it was there. Oxalyplatin does have some horrible side effects. I have a bit of neuropathy even now and while on it if I tried to swallow anything cold, or even breathed cold air, I felt like I was choking. 

It sounds like you're pretty well organised. Enjoy your holiday with your family :-)

All the best
Dave