And I'm sure you are one of the best Mums in the world. Don't worry about baby, you are only leaving her with people that love her too. Your journey has been really tough so far. I hope things are going to get better for you very very soon ...

Sending a cyber cuddle to you and your gorgeous girl, Marian x 

Hi

I understand how your feeling and know it can be difficult juggling the tiredness/sickness and making time for your children. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October and have being having chemotherapy since November. My youngest was 6 months old and my older son 2 & 1/2. I regularly feel that I'm not spending enough time doing fun things or being a good mum but have to remember that we need to look after ourselves to be a good mum and I just try to make up for it on weeks when I'm feeling better. Also at this age they are unlikely to remember and I'm sure your baby is having fun with your family. And if she's happy and content you should t worry as I'm sure your doing a great job. 

All the best

Hi, it sounds like you are having an incredibly tough time. I can relate in many ways though I've been diagnosed with breast cancer. My son turned 3 around the time I was diagnosed (stage 3, grade 3). It was so hard at an emotional level and my biggest fear was not being able to see him grow up. It was also tough at a physical level and I felt very guilty for not being able to do everything I thought a mum should do. But what's the alternative? Not have treatment? What I found hard was being a young mum going through this when most people I met where a lot older or even retired. I had a fulltime job, my boy, no family to support and a partner who has multiple sclerosis. But we got through it and so will you, but only by accepting the help from everyone who wants to be there for you, and accepting that for a while you won't be able to do everything yourself. I don't agree with what some people might say ...that your child won't remember. Before age 4 or 5 they are unlikely to have conscious or verbal memories of what they have witnessed or the inevitable absence they will experience whether due to chemo or stays in hospital. But it is there as something that they will retain at a non-verbal or subconscious level and might impact on them also when they're older. I am a clinical psychologist. And I'm not saying this to upset you. I don't mean that it has to be a bad thing but writing it off as something that doesn't matter could be unhelpful. The most important thing is to tell your children about what happened as they get older and not pretend it didn't happen. Should they find it hard to be apart from you e.g. When they go to nursery or school ...that might be the reason and you can talk to them. I wore had scarfs and headbands during my chemo ...about a year later, one day, I put on a headband and he almost had a meltdown, cried and cried telling me he didn't like it. At that point my boy could not recall me having been in hospital or having been ill. We spoke about it and it was ok. So it could be really small things that trigger something and seem out of proportion given perhaps what happened at the time...that's where it will count to listen and wonder with your child whether there could be a link. I hope nothing I wrote here upset or offended you. You'll get through this, but you will worry and feel guilty ...that's part of being a mum who loves her child. Just don't let it take over and spend all your time with those feelings ...you'll end up missing all the wonderful moments you will have even when everything feels awful. I wish you all the best! 

Sandy

Hi

Your experience is so close to my own!

I was 30 and had just had my baby boy by c section. 2 months later after being so poorly I was rushed into hospital. They found a whole in my bowel so had part of my bowel removed and shortly after I was diagnosed with dukes grade c bowel cancer.( stage 3)

I had 6 months (which actually took 7 months because I just wasn't recovering quick enough) chemo, a stoma and a new born. It was such a hard time. 

Really take all the help and rest you can. I know I lent on my family and couldn't have coped without them!!

Treatment seems like it will never end and I'm sure like me you don't want to miss out on seeing you little one grow.

Please remember this won't last forever!! I had my stoma reversed late last year and have now been cancer free (officially) for a year!! I am 32 now and have been making up for lost time with my little man who is now a big giddy 2 year old. 

Cherish you good days and rest on your bad.

Wishing you so much luck and happy days to come!!! X

Hi, I'm 36 and was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in January, since then I've had the right side of my colon removed and just completed my first cycle of chemo, I have four girls! aged 5,6,9 and 12 I too have really struggled emotionally I've been trying to just take one day at a time spending lots of time with my girls when I feel well enough then planning fun days with family when I'm feeling unwell. I think it's important to remember that this is only a short part of your life that you need to spend on getting well again and your baby won't remeber any of it :0) im sure she's having lots of fun and cuddles when she's not with you x stay strong xx Julie

Thanks a lot I had anxiety the doctor due to the steroids so hopefully adjusting my chemo will help. 

Thank you all for your kind words this week had been good bee out loads with my girl doing lots of fun things before round 2 tomorrow. Hope everyone else's journey is going smooth and good luck in everyone's fight xx