Hi Finlay ......  I am so sorry to hear that your BC has secondary spread.   It is a real shock and a bit harder to deal with than initial diagnosis and takes away the feeling that you can put it all behind you.  There are many people here who are in the same situation as you and I - so please dont feel alone.  Come and chat anytime you need.

I hope you have a supportive family and that friends will rally round to help you.  Keep in touch x

Hi Finlay47,

I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer - to the lungs in january. I have had chemo and radiotheraphy and i'm now on tamoxifen. However, my recent scan showed that my disease has progressed. I have no symptoms - other than problems with one of my arm - which most likely is due to vein damage from chemo. Recently i'm experiencing severe back pains - i'm not sure if this is due to tamoxifen or whether it's a sign of cancer spreading. I also feel very alone in all this. I have refused further chemo - as my oncologist has said that they can't say if it will make any difference or not - but to try. But  I decided quality of life over chemo. I feel so afraid of the future as everything seems so uncertain. I am 32 years old and I wish I knew what to expect to happen to me now. 

I have not told my family about the disease progressing as i do not want to worry them. But i feel so lost. I understand how you feel. 

Hi Sophie , thank you for chatting with me ,this illness is so cruel ,we all go through it in our own way and have hard choices / decisions to make and it scares me so much ,night time is the hardest I am awake when all are sleeping and my thoughts kick in ,I am on examethasaine cancer tablet once a day and a monthly injection called zoladex  ,lot's  of diffrent laxatives and can only have paracetamol pain killer which I take 4× a day then coding when I really have to ,this is due to my bowel tolerance .My breast other than looking deformed ( Lol ) don't give me much problem it's my bowel and this is the one they are worried about  ,I have to know when I need to make the call they say I am not to block but I never know how it is going to go until about a hour after I eat so this causes anxiety for me .Sophie 2 I have not had any chemotherapy as yet so I can't  imagine how it made you feel ,I seen a consultant on Thursday looking at radium but I have refused for now and I have just had another scan as my bowel really slowed down ,I see my consultant the 26th and they have said through my treatment that if bowl slows down this is a indication that my body has got used to medictation and I will have some chemotherapy and change of medication .Sophie 2 you know what is best for you regarding sharing the changes in your condition ,I would not be as strong to do that and my family /friends I know would rather know ,but it's so hard .What do you do for your self to help you relax /keep your  sanity ? AS I SAID IT'S A VERY CRULE  ILLNESS TO US AND THE PEOPLE WE LOVE .HOPE I HAVE NOT GONE ON TOO MUCH BUT FIRST TIME ,HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE FORUM LONG ? THANKS FOR LISTENING AND KEEP IN TOUCH  IF YOU WANT  X 

Hi  max 56 , Thank you for your  chat yes I have a very supportive family and friends I feel blessed ,I don't  spend to much time going in to it all ,just get on like normal but when things change I get anxious and it overwhelms me and night is the worst .How do you cope ? 

Night time is worse for me too and I have been to the GP to get sleeping tablets which help a lot. Also try to read to take my mind off things. Sometimes I come to the forum.

We are all different - I have taken every treatment offered to me and try to remember that although I have incurable disease, at this moment in time there are treatments available to me  and I want to stay alive as long as I can for my family.  New treatments are becoming available so quickly and who knows what the next year or two will bring if I can stick around?  At the moment I am living with cancer, not dying from it.

I am not some kind of weirdo - just someone trying to cope in a terrible situation.  Like you I try to live life as normally as possible and live day to day not second guessing the future.  I have met some lovely friends here who have helped me through, along with my family and friends who treat me "normally" . I hope this helps a.little xxxxxx 

Yes it's how I feel I still have the offer of treatments and as and when I will have them as I need and want to be around for as long as possible, I have a loving husband and 7 year old son who is my world and I want to see him grow and have lot's of happy memories toge