I am 27 years old and i  have recently been diagnosed with a Malignant Myxioliposarcoma in my left thigh. I have just completed 5 weeks of daily radiotherapy and now in a 6 week break until my surgery on 12th August. My skin and surrounding area of treatment is on the last stages of healing - after many painful areas of burns, open wounds and blisters. Before treatment started i had a CT scan and a Pet Scan to check the organs and cells throughout the rest of my body - These have come back all clear, thank god.

The surgeons have advised the surgery is straight forward to which they will be removing the whole muscle in my thigh. They have advised it has been successful many a times. I have been off work since the day i got told since April/May 2015 as to begin with like most people i was suffering panic attacks and anxiety. I would’nt leave the house and just literally fell apart. I then became confident enough for a while to carry on and felt better speaking out to my friends and family - although i am only happy to know as much as i want to know, if that makes sense.

Everyone is advising how brave and strong i have been but i guess its just what we have to do. I am really struggling with life right now, being my age also a lot of friends are in the process of becoming engaged, having children, buying houses or just generally partying, holidays and having a good time. I still have the questions why me? what happens if this happens or that happens and just feel stuck in a rut. All my family and friends can do is support me and remain positive. I just want to make some friends who have either had/have what i have or people who are around my age group going through cancer to just know i am not on my own.

This year was the first year i literally had planned in advance and have had to cancel everything from a few trips abroad, 6 hen do's, 3 weddings and the list goes on. Im so down and it's now affecting my relationship with my boyfriend as i'm so angry and uptight, cry myself to sleep and just hate everyone and the world right now although i know its no ones fault. My boyfriend and my Mum have been rocks up until now but i just feel like a burden and its just too much for them to take on with full time work and their own lives.

Is there anyone to reassure me i am not going crazy and life will get better. The main problem is trying to move on after surgery. Im so worried it will come back, it will destroy my life. I feel as if i can never have children now, if it came back i couldn't possibly look after children as well as try and look after myself. I love going abroad but worried incase anything happens. My head is going around in circles. I am drained and tired.

I would appreciate any help. xx