Hi Lorraine

Slowly but surely finding my way to catch up with 'buddies' threads.  Your latest news would have me punching the wall with anger and frustration so feel free to carry on venting your feelings.  We know it does not make things go away but we are all here to support each other.  Really hope that your next round of scans/appointments can give you some way to  move forward with treatment to make you more comfortable.  By the way did you know that 'beauty is in the eye of the  beholder' so those that are supporting you think you need to hear these things.  Its like Max says (hey Max good to see your name cropping up too - sending hugs) they mean well.  Its a line I do not use on my hubby for fear he would get me 'put in a safe place' but its not easy knowing what to say (he is now over four stone lighter because of his illness) and all I can do is buy new clothes that fit.  It does not make it feel better but means I am doing something.

Anyhow Lorriane hope the weather (well I am British what else should I talk about) where  you are is better than here and am sending virtual hugs and listening ears anytime you need to offload. Regards Jules x 

Thanks Max, Jules, and Dave. You're right Max, if we didn't laugh and make jokes once in awhile,  we'd go absolutely mad! And, Jules, punching the wall might help too, although now that we live in an apt., we'd likely get evicted. LOL  Dave, I know what you mean about doctors; some of them have a "sick" sense of humor when they unwind. Really though, they are only human too and I know for many of them, seeing the ravages of illness of one kind or another on their patients day after day has to be depressing for them too. I'm sure there must be days when they question why they stay in the business, but like many professions that are related to a lot of human suffering in one way or another, its' what they do. Thank goodness they are there.

I'm counting the days until I get through this PET scan and follow-up with the doctor. At least then I'll know what I'm dealing with here. I'll be sure to let you guys know the outcome. I have a feeling it isn't going to be great.

Take care everyone. Hugs everybody.

Lorraine

Hi honey!  Thank you for the update  -  not sure what to say to the good and bad news except we are here for you and will be there by your side throughout.  Max x

Hi Buddies - Jules, Jo, Debbie, and Max. Your support is so helpful in this lousy journey and I so appreciate having you guys in there rooting for me. It just means so much to know that even across the many miles between us, you're all out there. As I've said so many times, this forum has been a God send for me as I go down this road with so many of you who are fighting your own battles, but yet have still so much to give others. I'll certainly keep you in the loop when I have more info as to exactly when the surgery will take place. She's hoping for Dec, 11th or 12th if the OR is available and she'll let me know a definite as soon as she can. She is such a wonderful doctor and so good at what she does. Her bedside manner is great and she is so caring. I am very lucky there for sure.

Jo, are you up for more surgery? When and what for? Let me know my dear. I know misery loves company, but this isn't what this is about. We can commiserate together though, if you tell me what's going on with you.

Take care everyone and thanks again for being there. Hugs to all of you.

Lorraine

Hi Lorraine

Would be a plus for you if they can get surgery out of the way a.s.a.p. as it cuts waiting/thinking time!  It is such a bonus when you are happy with your doctor.  Its something we are so grateful for in my hubby's palliative care.  Though there is little they can offer other than monitoring/pain control (so very important) the understanding/care we receive (no time limit on appointments so we can talk things through) is so re-assuring.  Today we have meeting with his GP and then a dietician visiting us at home (to save his need to journey to hospital) as his appetite is now very poor and they hope to be able to assist in this respect.  Its a difficult one as we have plenty to offer him (including prescribed drinks) but he finds nothing tastes good(not my cooking, honest) and his palliative care community nurse, who called in yesterday, says it very much the 'illness' and not the man.

Stay and touch and I know the forum offers us all somewhere supportive to vent/chat.  Take care.Jules x

Hi Jules, thanks so much for your response and ongoing support. I've read many of your posts and every time I do, my heart aches for you and your husband. I think the hardest part for watching someone in palliative care is knowing that your loved one can't get better, no matter what you do for them. That must be so hard for you and I've certainly experienced it myself with my Dad, my brother, a former partner, and many other relatives and good friends. That is the awful thing about cancer; so often it does end with the death of your loved one, or in the case of the person with it, we often look our own death in the face. I know that I likely will eventually die from this disease. Every time I have a surgery, and I have had many just in the past few years, the anesthesiologist (sp) always tells me what great shape i"m in, i.e. great BP, heart, lung capacity??? (considering this lung cancer). My question to them is "then what am I doing in surgery?" I'm there so much these last few years that they now know me by my first name. People tell me you have to "think positive". That's fine when when you're not the one fighting this disease, or like in your case, caring for someone who is. I've never known a positive attitude yet that was able to cure cancer, but I do appreciate that one's emotional attitude does have an effect on the body's immune system, so in a roundabout way, it would help in the fight. Now, I'm rambling.

I'll certainly keep on posting and looking for all the support I can get as I go through this major surgery yet again. Thanks for being there Jules, not only for me and a lot of other people on here, but also for your husband who, I'm sure, really appreciates all you do for him. Please also take care of yourself; you need a soft place to fall to sometimes.

Hugs

Lorraine 

Hi Lorraine

Your quick and kind response, despite your own situation, is what this forum is all about - mutual respect and understanding (not rambling at all) of what cancer does to all who come in contact with it all it entails. Your reply bought tears to my eyes and then a smile to my face when you mentioned first name terms! Our local pharmacy greets us in this way!  Yesterday the harsh reality of our situation (deep down you know where we are leading) was tempered by hubby's GP addressing him as Mr and my man responding by saying 'it's ok you can still call me by my first name even though the wife is here' - we all had a laugh at that. I am trying to think 'in the now' but switching off  last night was hard and only a couple of hours sleep achieved - bet you know all about too much thinking. I prefer to use 'be hopeful' than be positive but 'being honest' with my own thinking has made it easier for my real friends and family to be 'open' with me (I am the channel to my hubby as he cannot bring himself to discuss his situation unless he is called upon and who can blame him really). His GP called him 'her very private man'.

All that being said virtual buddies are an extremely 'positive' side of my journey and the hugs are returned with the hope that you have dates soon to take you forward.  Regards Jules x

Hi Lorraine .... how are you doing? x

Hi there Max, I'm counting the days; part of me wants it to come and the other part of me doesn't want it. I did have a really hard time with the last lung surgery and I went into that one not knowing what to expect. This time I know how its' going to be .I have a confirmation date - Dec. 11 but I don't have a time. Christmas is a washout for sure. I'll try to get my cards out before hand, and I have a small table tree that is already decorated and covered up in the spare closet. I'll just take that out and set it up on a small table and put my candles in the window and I'm done. Everyone is getting gift certificates this year, although my grandkids will get a little something extra that I've already picked up for them. A good friend has invited us for dinner Christmas Day and as long as I'm feeling okay, we'll go to her place, otherwise, she said she'll bring dinner here to us. She's a lovely person and a really good friend. I don't know if there's a good time of year to have major surgery. Right now it is frigid cold here, so a person can't even get out for a little walk. I think after surgery, its' good if one can get out for a walk and some fresh air, but goodness, how do you do that in this cold. Oh well, there I go again, rambling. I just want this over with. I hate living with uncertainty. After I recover from this surgery, I'll be having another surgery in Jan. for this bladder cancer. It never ends!!  I'm having a CT scan tomorrow for that problem. This health issue is keeping me busier and worse than having a full-time job.

Thanks for being there for me and thinking about me. Its'' just so good to know you're out there. Now I'm going to go and have a pity party for myself.

Hugs to all of you.

Lorraine

Hi Jo, when are you having your procedure and what are they doing this time ? As I recall, like me, you're likely thinking you should have your own room in the hospital. At least it would be more convenient because we could just leave some belongings right there and wouldn't have to pack every time we went in.

Are you likely to go in before Christmas, or are they waiting until afterwards for yours?  Its' a heck of a time to be having surgery, but there isn't much we can do about it. Its' often said that misery loves company, but that isn't the case for me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Take care of yourself. Lots of hugs across the miles.

Lorraine

Hi Jo, when are you having your procedure and what are they doing this time ? As I recall, like me, you're likely thinking you should have your own room in the hospital. At least it would be more convenient because we could just leave some belongings right there and wouldn't have to pack every time we went in.

Are you likely to go in before Christmas, or are they waiting until afterwards for yours?  Its' a heck of a time to be having surgery, but there isn't much we can do about it. Its' often said that misery loves company, but that isn't the case for me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Take care of yourself. Lots of hugs across the miles.

Lorraine

Hi Jo, be sure to let us know how things go for you when you get your results tomorrow. I will be sure to get in touch with you guys as soon as I'm able after my surgery. It seems as though I gave you the impression that I'm well organized. Well, I must confess, I do need some improvement in that department, but I am working on it though. I think if you knew the whole story, you would likely agree with me on that one. With what's been going on with me these last years, I must say that my priorities have changed somewhat as this cancer diagnosis has been a real wake-up call for me, as I'm sure it is for most people battling cancer. Stay in touch and I will certainly keep posting until S day arrives on the 11th. Of course, you guys know the drill; I had a CT scan today, apt. on Friday to discuss meds, Pre-Op on Mon, etc, etc.Like I said earlier on; this journey is more demanding than a full-time job.

Big Hugs right back at you Jo. Good luck tomorrow and I'll be looking forward to hearing about your report.

Lorraine 

Hi Jo

Glad your results bring some relief for you and you can now hopefully enjoy the coming weeks without treatment and have a bit more recovery period before discussions move forward.  Have a peaceful weekend.Hugs  Jules x

Jo, don't ever feel that you can't, or shouldn't share good news when you get some. That's what this forum is all about and knowing that you have heard something good for a change, gives me the courage and some hope for a possible good outcome on my end. Whether or not that happens, can't and shouldn't dampen your relief and positive feelings. I'm always glad to hear when someone gets some good results, as I'm sure you are too. Savour the good times Jo, goodness knows you deserve them. I'm happy for you and wish I could be there with you to celebrate over a glass of sparkly, just a little one.

Hugs.

Lorraine  

Dear Lorraine .....

Echoing the lovely Jo  -  all the very best sweetheart, we will be thinking about you x

Sending hugs for tomorrow and hoping for the best possible outcome.  Jules x

Thanks Jo, Max, and Jules, I just logged on for a minute and here you are, wishing me well for tomorrow. I'm off to bed early and hoping to get some shut eye, but I'm the world's worst sleeper, especially when I'm facing surgery in the morning. Oh well, a few deep breaths to reduce the anxiety and a hot (well warm) bath, (I can't do hot because I have very sensitive skin). A shower in the morning and I'm off. Hopefully, I will be taken on time. I don't know how things work at your hospitals, but here, we go in the same day of surgery. We're given a "time" to be there, but quite often, we don't get to the OR anywhere near that "time". I waited for 12 hours one time - this is after fasting from midnight the night before, so a total of 22 hrs. without food or water and sitting in the waiting room over there. It was 7 p.m. at night and no one was around to ask anything, so I went and got dressed and was leaving, when a nurse came by and asked where I was going. I told her home, and she said "Oh just wait, we're going to take you soon." I said, how soon? Her response "in just a few more hours". I said "see you later". I filed a formal complaint. I've had several surgeries since then and never had to wait that long again. I guess complaining worked. That's my rant for today. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly tomorrow.

Thanks for your best wishes and hugs. They sure mean a lot and I will post as soon as I can, likely in about a week.

Take care, all of you and I send hugs to you as well.

Lorraine