Dear Jo,

Have only just read your post and want to give you a big hug friend.No need for apologies from you as you have been such a giver on here so our turn to listen.

Would also offer to rub your chest to make sure you've got it all off.LOL.

It's the classic the good news and the bad news syndrome.

We don't want some of each in this situation thank you, we just want good news.

So it's very understandable that you left hospital rather deflated.

That said it's time to pull yourself up again and takle the next stage.

Once you've had the scans and heard from the MDT I am sure you'll feel more positive as you will know the direction you will be taking.

and we will be here routing for you my friend, or even rooting.!!!!

Speak soon and anytime.

hugs

Annabel. xx

Hi Annabel,

Thank you for your lovely words and the offer to rub my chest to get it all off!

Having had today to 'get a grip' and realise that I need to keep things in perspective, I feel much calmer and just want to get on with the next phase of the journey!

I have a day off tomorrow and I'm going to give the specialist nurse a call and let her know I can get to hospital if any cancellations become available!

As I said to Lorraine and Hope, I function better with a plan in place! Maybe I'm a bit compulsive, but it would help to know whether we can book a holiday in October or whether I need to tell the head teacher to book some supply cover for me etc! Maybe 'organised' is a better description!

I hope your London visit went well and you had a lovely celebration of little Ava's first birthday! Will PM you soon.

Love and hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo,

I laughed when I read you say you have given yourself a good talking to. As long as you didn't answer yourself otherwise I will be worried I manage to hold a conversation with myself at times. Mrs B laughs at me but I tell her it's the way I can get the best answers

I can understand what you say about wanting to get things underway for it's agreed by most of us on here that waiting is one of the worst times.

Have a great weekend and I would also like to wish you all the best for next week. Hugs, Brian.

Hi Jo,

Love and hugs for tomorrow. Keeping things crossed for an op appointment for you soon.

hugs

Annabel. xx

Hi Jo

I just wanted to wish you good luck

For your pre-op appointment tomorrow

Please let us know how you get on x

Hugs to you xx

Good morning, Brian, Annabel and My Little Sunshine,

Thanks for your kind words and wishes for today. The Pre-op assessment always makes me smile because when the nurse and I go through the questionnaire, on paper I seem to be the picture of health!   (its the blood pressure that always raises eyebrows though!)

  My Little Sunshine, thank you for thinking of me, especially when you are going through such a tough time yourself. I follow your thread and read about your progress, but sorry I haven't  replied  (I'm also guilty of doing this with Jules' thread (Continuing the journey) and Brian's 'Amazing Quotes' thread!)

But just so you know, you are in my thoughts as are all my virtual buddies

Have a great weekend everyone. Hope you've all made some enjoyable plans!

Will chat soon, hugs to all, Jo xx

Morning Jo

Just thinking of you whilst I listen to more 'fishing programmes' in the background - not sure of the connection myself really but perhaps your appointment can be likened to a 'fishing for news/dates/plans' scenario.  The waiting period is so hard for so many - we just want to get on with doing whatever is needed and anxiety does not help the blood pressure readings (just going to an appointment is enough to raise mine!).  Really hope you can have good information feedback and an op date sooner rather than later.

Glad to here your other half has been keeping your hunger at bay when you get in from work and your dog no doubt getting attention too (pets are just great at knowing when to 'cuddle up').  Now you have half term and hope you manage some relaxing and enjoyable treats.  By the way please do not feel guilty about not responding on all our threads - this forum and its readers really understand how it works and thats what makes it good ( and we know where to find you too).  Have a lovely weekend (hope the weather allows for pleasant doggie walks) and will catch up as and when.  Virtual hugs Jules xx

Hey Jo

So sorry that you've had a *** week. I too have been moved to tears by the passing of Lynda Bellingham (her interview on loose women was so sad to watch wasnt it)

I do hope that you get to have some rest and relaxation over half term and you dont have to wait too long for surgery. At this end, i have been signed off for a phased return so will be back in school after half term.  Wish me luck!

Tske care   x

Hi Jules and Jayne,

The pre-op was fine, although the nurse did ask if I'd taken up smoking again - a bit disconcerting as I've never smoked!

I also had a slightly embarrassing moment when she asked me to get ready behind the curtains and gave me a succession of instructions. I was obviously not listening very and well and when she appeared round the curtains, looked a bit surprised to see me practically starkers, all but a gown!  I then said, "You told me I could leave my trousers on didn't you?" We had a chuckle and I confessed to being a bit distracted of late!

She didn't have an op date, but there was a letter waiting on the mat when we got back from the hospital with the date of Friday 7th November.

So, two more weeks to wait!

Jules, not sure about why the fishing should have brought me to mind either, but it's amazing what links our neural pathways make! it's just lovely that you're thinking about me!

Jayne, I'll be thinking of you as you go back to work. Take it steady. Remember to set achievable targets each day!

This is a lovely half term though, with the run up to Christmas. Not sure what age the children are in your school, but as you can imagine, there will be much excitement in our infant school!

I'll pop into school for the first few days after this hol, but then intend to finish on the Wednesday to give myself a day to prepare for Friday.

Let me know how your first few days go!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend - I've just cobbled together a 70th birthday cake for my dad who is visiting tomorrow, and now it's feet up with the dog by the fire.

Hugs to you both, Jo xx

Hi Jo,

Was sorry to read that you've been struggling this week, but remember to be kind to yourself, you've been through an awful lot and struggling is allowed.  Glad to hear that the pre-op went well, albeit the embarrasing changing moment!  I hope that now you've got an actual date for your op you are feeling a bit more focused, nothing worse than waiting.  Thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug.  Hope x

Hi Jo

Good to read from your update that appointment went okay and that the misheard instructions gave you and the nurse something to chuckle over.  As my aunt would say 'what you like'.  Though Iam sure you will have the usual anxieties attached to further surgery knowing the date means that you can have coping plans in place which somehow usually helps me to focus on whats ahead.  Hope you have a lovely relaxing week off school and that your Dad enjoys his birthday and your cake (bet its not cobbled together at all and will be lovely).  Feet up and cake sounds lovely (and there I am trying to get back to healthy eating - need to lose the few pounds I have gained over the past weeks of comfort eating so Christmas can be enjoyed especially as we are at our sons and both he and his other half love cooking).  Be good to yourself and chat soon. Jules x

Hi Jo, glad to hear that you have the date for your surgery - Nov. 7th. Somehow there is comfort in knowing when things will take place so you can focus on planning what you need to do before that date. Until you have that date, your thoughts are all over the garden path when trying to plan for it. I reviewed your posts, but I'm still unsure of your upcoming surgery. Is this abdominal surgery that you will have on the 7th? You mentioned lung surgery, but it doesn't sound like this one is on your lung. Is there a plan for lung surgery later on? Have you had lung surgery in the past? I know, I know, I should do my research of your posts, but its' just much easier to have you clarify it on here. LOL

Jo, I think you and I are on a very similar path with this cancer journey. Like you, I have had colon cancer surgery, (although I don't have a colostomy - yet!) I had surgery for lung cancer 2 years ago, and of course, now, unlike you, I have bladder cancer, (unrelated to my colon and lung cancer, which were/are related). When I was diagnosed with colon cancer, I couldn't tolerate the chemo either, and in fact, they had to stop the treatment because it would have killed me before the cancer would have. I'm having a PET scan soon because there is concern that my lung cancer has come back. So far, my liver seems to be okay, although the PET scan could prove otherwise.

As I reviewed your posts (some of them, I confess) I just got this eerie feeling that there are very common threads to our cancer journey here. When were you first diagnosed, and I believe that would have been your colon cancer? Its' been almost 5 years for me, (colon cancer Dec. 2009) Is it that long for you, or longer than that? It seems like eternity that I have been dealing with this, but I guess I have a lot to be thankful for - I'm still alive.

I'll certainly be thinking of you on Nov. 7th and wish you the best for the outcome. I know you said at one point there that you are treatable, but not curable. That's where I am as well. I look forward to hearing after your surgery that all is well. Take care and get all rested up and stay away from the sneezes and sniffles.

Hugs. XXXX

Lorraine 

Hi Jo, glad to hear that you have the date for your surgery - Nov. 7th. Somehow there is comfort in knowing when things will take place so you can focus on planning what you need to do before that date. Until you have that date, your thoughts are all over the garden path when trying to plan for it. I reviewed your posts, but I'm still unsure of your upcoming surgery. Is this abdominal surgery that you will have on the 7th? You mentioned lung surgery, but it doesn't sound like this one is on your lung. Is there a plan for lung surgery later on? Have you had lung surgery in the past? I know, I know, I should do my research of your posts, but its' just much easier to have you clarify it on here. LOL

Jo, I think you and I are on a very similar path with this cancer journey. Like you, I have had colon cancer surgery, (although I don't have a colostomy - yet!) I had surgery for lung cancer 2 years ago, and of course, now, unlike you, I have bladder cancer, (unrelated to my colon and lung cancer, which were/are related). When I was diagnosed with colon cancer, I couldn't tolerate the chemo either, and in fact, they had to stop the treatment because it would have killed me before the cancer would have. I'm having a PET scan soon because there is concern that my lung cancer has come back. So far, my liver seems to be okay, although the PET scan could prove otherwise.

As I reviewed your posts (some of them, I confess) I just got this eerie feeling that there are very common threads to our cancer journey here. When were you first diagnosed, and I believe that would have been your colon cancer? Its' been almost 5 years for me, (colon cancer Dec. 2009) Is it that long for you, or longer than that? It seems like eternity that I have been dealing with this, but I guess I have a lot to be thankful for - I'm still alive.

I'll certainly be thinking of you on Nov. 7th and wish you the best for the outcome. I know you said at one point there that you are treatable, but not curable. That's where I am as well. I look forward to hearing after your surgery that all is well. Take care and get all rested up and stay away from the sneezes and sniffles.

Hugs. XXXX

Lorraine 

Thank you Hope, Jules and Lorraine for your latest responses.

You're all right with thinking that now I've got my date, my mind is more focused and less all over the place! It's almost as if I need that boundary of time to focus on what I need to get done before my next trip into Hotel NHS!

Hope, thanks for the virtual hug! Presumably, you're on half term hols this week? Hope you've got some treats planned. I think a few lie-ins or rest and relaxation days are called for too, in readiness for the next half term and the run up to Christmas! I'm disappointed to be missing out on it again this year! But as I'm not on chemo, I can pop into school and enjoy watching the children from the sidelines! (Though I will feel guilty looking at my frazzled colleagues!) x

Jules, my dad loved his cake. It really was a bit 'cobbled' as I cheated and used a shop made Madeira cake which I then embellished with chocolate sticks and wafer thin mints (not sure we're allowed to advertise on here!) and it was meant to look like a shed! (My dad has this thing about sheds!)

It looked a bit more like a log cabin, but he was delighted with it! Easily pleased! His actual 70th is on the 8th, but as I will probably be reclining on a ward somewhere, we brought his Birthday forward and had a brunch, a dog walk and a shed cake! x

Lorraine, grab a cup of tea, this is a long ramble! 

Our journeys do sound similar don't they? I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in April 2013, and had chemo radiotherapy for 5 weeks, then in September 2013 had my bowel resection. I had 'belt and braces' chemo but like you, it really didn't suit me at all so had to stop. Then in Feb of this year, scans showed 3 liver tumours so I was put on a Watch and wait for 3 months. The next scans in May now showed a lung hotspot too!

I had a liver resection in June and the next step would have been to have a lung resection, but the follow up scans after the liver op, showed new hotspots in my abdomen and pelvis! These new pesky little blighters will be removed in the op on the 7th and depending on what the surgeon discovers when he operates(or the pathology of the tumours) this will determine whether a lung resection is the appropriate next step.

In the meantime, I also keep meeting up with my colorectal surgeon and he's given me the 'good to go' with the stoma reversal op, (had all the investigations to see if my bowel surgical site has healed) but this is a low priority procedure in the scheme of things, so 'Stumpy' the stoma gets to live for a few more months!

When I look back, it's only been (only been!) 19 months from diagnosis to here, but it seems so much longer (as others will probably testify) and life has seemingly revolved around cancer forever! For you, Lorraine, it's been so much longer - But as you say, we're here, being well looked after by our medical teams and like you I have much to be thankful for!

Sorry for the long ramble, Lorraine! But hope it saves you trawling about on here!

I hope your PET scan goes ok and that they don't keep you waiting too long before the results are available. (Our PET scan service, (private company) delivers results in two working days to the requesting surgeon, but it's often an additional wait to get a clinic appointment to hear them!)

Keep in touch x

Sending Love and hugs to you all, Jo xx

Dear Jo and Lorraine

I've seen many of your posts and I have commented from time to time. However, I've just read your "stories" and I wanted to say that your cheerfulness and positivity is inspiring. I'm sure you both have your bad days (which is understandable) but your positive comments really do help others.

Good luck with the op, Jo!

Debbie

Hi there Jo and thanks for the summary of your journey with this terrible disease. I really appreciate you taking the time to recall all those events for me, so I didn't have to trace back to figure it out for myself. There really are similarities in our journeys, but still different in some ways. I have been into this longer than you have, but what's a few years between friends. Talking about years between friends; I am also qute a bit older than you, not that I know your age, but you are still working, so I'm guessing in your forties or fifties. I've been "officially retired"  for ten years, but I had a private practice for a few years after I retired and would still have it if I was well.

I'll be thinking about you on the 7th when you go for your surgery and wish you the best outcome. Until then, don't over do it. Get rested up so you're able to recuperate faster and easier after the surgery.

Take care.

Lorraine  

Hi Debbie, thank you for your kind words. You are right that I have bad days, (I can't speak for Jo on this) and the encouragement I get from others on here, (Jo included) are a big help to me during those times. I guess that's what this forum is all about - helping you, helps me and vice versa. Just knowing that I'm not on this journey alone, not that I'd ever wish this on anyone, takes away some of the "isolation" of it because it is a lonely journey. Certainly our loved ones try to help, but often they just don't understand. Besides, they have their own struggles with trying to deal with it. It will be a red letter day when a cure for cancer is found.

Take care.

Lorraine 

Hi Jo

Hope the half term means lots of lie ins/relaxation for you.  The shed cake was a great invention rather than a 'cobbled attempt' -  thats not cheating but innovation (whereas I rely on the bakers in our family or shop buy!!!).  I am sure you will be getting plenty of tlc leading up to your op but like all your forum buddies wish you well and will be thinking of you on the 7th.  Not sure what day she goes away but Hope is going away during half term and will hopefully find plenty of sun and 'wind down' time prior to coping with the children in the build up to Christmas next term.  Our eldest has his 6th birthday at the end of November so he is already excited!!!  Virtual hugs and here to listen any time.Jules xx

Hi Debbie,

Ah, thanks for your kind words. I'm definitely with Lorraine in that I too do have low days, but they tend to be when I'm overtired. This forum ( and the wonderful folks on it) has certainly been a saviour many times, knowing its a place where others understand how you're feeling.

You always send out positive vibes in your posts, Debbie (Ive seen many a supportive comment from you on various threads!) and reading your story, you've been through the grinder too!

The news about Access on the Branchial Cyst thread has saddened me. I've been a follower rather than a contributor on that thread. I did hijack Nicola's thread though, way back when she first posted, even though our cancers are anatomically, poles apart. I'm sure this is where we first 'met' Debbie.

Thanks for the good luck wishes too. It's strange, but even though this surgery is far simpler than the rest, I'm more anxious about it! I think it's the fear of what they'll find! Ever the optimist eh?

Take care, Jo xx

Hi again, Lorraine,

You should be a detective You guessed right with my age . . . I'm fast approaching my half century! It's just into the new year, so I intend to have a small celebration of some sort - though riding on the back of Christmas, most people are on diets or detox regimes in January! I'll start mine in February! Haha!

Well, I'm off to grab a cuppa - my lovely man has made some meringues (yes I know sugary things are bad!) but one will be a treat!

Take care, lovely lady,

Jo xxx

Hi Jules,

Managed a lie in today - well until 8 when the dog 'found me' in the spare room and jumped on me! (Partner decided to swap sides, pull covers off, snore etc, so at 3am I threw in the towel and snook into the spare bed!

We've not planned much this week, and as you've rightly guessed, I'll be taking it easy, pottering and catching up with the mundane things like booking the car in for a service and arranging a sick note! Ah, life in the fast lane!

Well, as I said to Lorraine, I'm about to indulge in a homemade meringue (with cream and strawberries)

A friend was due to call at 4 but at half 3, rang to say she was just in from work, had to take the car for a service (spooky coincidence!) and had last minute packing to do for her delayed honeymoon, tomorrow! She'll be a bit miffed when I post a picture on FB of what she's missed out on!

Take care, Jo xx

Decided it would be best to send best wishes for the weekend having received 'forum offline' notification when I logged on today.  Hope  you doing okay and have enjoyed a bit of pampering during the half term break.  Wishing you all the very  best for the 7th too and sending hugs.   Take care.Jules x