Hi everybody,

I hope that you all had a nice Christmas and I wish you all a happy and healthy new year.

Nicola, I really feel that you are on the downhill stretch now. The mucus issue should hopefully resolve itself over the next few days and you can hit the ground running in the new year. Well done for getting to this point and still having a positive attitude - that's what gets you through.

Things are generally good with me. My nightsweats appear to have eased significantly - I have not had one now for 6 days (I have my fingers crossed and I'm touching wood as I type). There is a small fly in the ointment in that I have a small but very painful ulcer on the side of my tongue. When I went for my check up on 19/12 it was painful but there was nothing to see - the oncologist said that he couldn't see anything to worry about. Of course within 48hrs the ulcer reared it's ugly head and is now visible. I discussed this via e-mail with the Macmillan nurse and she has arranged for me to see the oncologist at the end of this week in order that he can have a look at it. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about. One of the things with our situation is that it's easy to become paranoid about every ache, pain and lump. I'm adopting a 'better safe than sorry' attitude.

I still have periods of tiredness, I used to sleep for around 5 hours per night - now I'm up to 8 or 9. I'm still using the PEG for some easy calories each day - the tube comes out on 7/1 so that will force me to take food completely orally. I feel that I'm becoming too reliant on the PEG.

I didn't do trifle on Christmas day but I did do turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing and most of the trimmings (all soaked in lots of gravy). I then had a small amount Christmas pudding with a lot of cream.  I managed to eat about half of it - I find that you get to a point where you know that it would be foolish to struggle on any further. I even had a small scotch and coke.

Irene, well done for getting through week one. I can promise you that the time really does fly by and before you know it all this will be behind you. Meeting people in a similar situation going through the same experiences really helps - a bit like this group really.

Jo - I'm glad that you liked the food suggestions. I'm doing banana and lots of custard today. I had Angel Delight last night (butterscotch, of course). I remember the 70's diet with fondness along with a hint of shame - remember Cadbury's Smash (".....they peel them with their metal knives..........hahahahaha"). Seemed somehow sophisticated at the time). Nicola - you really had to be there!

Happy New Year everyone - 2014 will be much better than 2013!

Simon XX

Dear Nicola, Simon, Jo, Annabel and Friends

Happy New Year!

Despite my best intentions to be asleep long before midnight I found myself sitting up in bed supping an Activia prune yoghurt to welcome in 2014!  I had a slight 'chemo-head' again after Round 2 yesterday but in general it was better than Round 1 and I had a relatively good day yesterday with taste even making very fleeting reappearance.

Was feeling pretty green again this morning but the headache has eased as I've been flushing gallons

down my PEG as advised yesterday.  Last week I drank plenty on day 1 but less on day 2 and it didn't

even occur to me to put it straight into my tummy, so despite hating it at the start, I am already aware it is going to be good friend. I'd lost a couple of kilos since last week (oh how delighted I would have been to see that six months ago) which surprised me because although I've had little appetite I've been going through the motions of shovelling high calorie food down while I still can. They said the dietitician will speak to me soon and probably get me onto supplementary drinks.

The nausea feels very like being pregnant again - the very thought of some things (especially coffee

and alcohol) make me want to heave.  I did buy in a bottle of Advocaat to toast the new year (my

granny's festive tipple) thinking it might be a pick-me-up, but writing about it at it now is quickly becoming a bad idea!   Double radiography on Friday (sounds like a school timetable!) and that will be

week two ticked off.

Nicola - getting on OK with the mask thanks, I don't find it too claustrophobic.  However I had a lot of bother with glut in my throat on my last double session.  The last few days it's been that which has made me retch in the mornings, not the chemo, and I was worried about choking on the radio-bed especially in the later stages.  Radiographers assured me that if/when that happens (not often they said) just to wave my hand and they will release me/do it in stages.  I was worried that this was becoming a problem so early on but as I think I've mentioned before, I've had a problem with catarrh in throat for years so perhaps that's why.  Really pleased to hear you're beginning to feel a bit better after the infection/green goo.  Must have felt like a huge achievement to get out to the shops - well done you - onward and upward!

Annabel - thanks for yours, sounds like you've been a very busy bee over the past few days.  elighted to hear your life is returning to normal.  I'll let you know how I find the book.

Jo - sorry to hear your last chemo days were bad but glad you enjoyed a well deserved Buck's Fizz and what a good idea just to postpone the whole shebang till the 29th.  My best friend who emigrated to Australia in 1981 celebrates Christmas in July every year with a crowd of ex-pats (they do it in the December heat as well).  They rent a lodge in the Blue Mountains (or somewhere else where it's a bit colder) to re-live Christmasses past with all the works - decorations, hats, presents, food, drink, games (and probably hangovers!).  I'm thinking that's a great idea for those of us who haven't had the best Christmas 2013!  Vesta curries and ready-meals made me laugh again. I remember when I was around 12 staying with an adult cousin and his young family and had recently been experimenting

in the 'exciting new Vesta range' so asked if I could buy and make a Chow Mein for them.  I was used to my Mum's gas cooker at home and they had electricity.  The crispy noodles should only be in for seconds but I left them on the ring after switching off - they were of course completely cremated!

Simon - good to hear that you are on the up and the night sweats have eased off.  I can completely understand the 'every ache pain and lump' paranoia and I'm sure that will be all our futures but 'better safe than sorry' it must be!  Glad you enjoyed Christmas Dinner and scotch and coke. That's my hubby's tipple and occasionally mine but I'm more of a wine gal.  Up here (near Perth) he gets lots of stick for adding coke to whisky as you can imagine!  Support nurses said I should have one or two drinks over Christmas if I fancied it before the throat starts to nip - but it's just not of interest.  I was very disappointed not to find any Butterscotch Angela Delight (or any other flavour for that matter) in Tesco's the other day.  It all seems to be ready-pots of custard, rice etc.  No sign of Instant Whip either  Sorry Nicola, more tales from a bygone era!  I am now on the Quaker Golden Syrup instants for breakfast though and boy did I enjoy my ice-cream yesterday!

Well, if I do break the seal on that Advocaat bottle I will be toasting us all, but I've a feeling it may just be the lemonade!  We all deserve a happy 2014 and I'm sure mine will be from March onwards!

Love Irene x

Hi Debs and all of my friends on Cancer Chat. I just wanted to wish you all a great and positive year ahead, also to everyone else who is on here or finds themselves in this predicament . Good luck everyone .

Ferry xx

Thanks, ferry! Happy new year to you and everyone else here too!

Irene, I too was worried I'd choke on the phlegm whilst "masked-up"! However, I used to have a good spit in my large mound of kitchen roll (lovely!) which was always by my side and it was fine. I think the mucus slows down when you lie down!

Debbie

Many thanks Deb, that's comforting to know.  I have been stocking up on kitchen roll though!

So far I'm having a good day , just been to the shops to spend a couple of Christmas vouchers so a nice lift!

Thanks Ferry, I'm a relative newbie and am really finding this forum is great for letting off steam, picking up tips and just brilliant support in general.

HELP!  I can't believe I've gone from two really upbeat 'normal' days to this.  Since yesterday my throat is on fire and I am scarcely eating at all.  Have also been sick 3-4 times since last night for the first time since treatment started - not chemo related, purely a combination of the overdose of dairy products in my tum and muck in my throat.  The very word 'creamy' makes me heave now.  When I saw my support nurse on Friday she told me I was doing all the right things re eating, just trial and error.  I explained the dairy intake was beginning to make me queasy in itself, tried some different soups, etc.  They said I'd see the dietician on my next chemo day as I've lost 2 kilos since last week.  Today I feel as weak as a kitten, anything that has gone down has come back up (inc anti sick pills and painkillers) and I feel that right now I just want to start tube feeding and not have the stress of trying to eat for the sake of it.  I know everyone has different experiences, but did this kick in very quickly and suddenly for others?   They upped my cocodamol dosage last week but it's only barely taking the edge off the pain so hope I can get something stronger soon.  I also have mouthwash as well as Difflan which is soothing but short-lived.  I just tried spaghetti hoops - only managed a couple of spoonfuls.  Also finally found and tried butterscotch Angel D and again can hardly taste it but everything just too damn rich and stomach-turning.  Feeling sorry for myself - any tips?

Irene x

Hi Irene,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are experiencing some difficulties at the moment.

Thinking back to my treatment this was about the time that I began to suffer with extreme nausia, uncontrollable vommiting and sore mouth/throat. Not sure which chemo you're on but if it is cisplatin like mine then this is renown for sickness related issues. The hospital should supply a strong dose of anti sickness medication - both during the chemo and to take home - to deal with this. Not all anti sickness meds work for everyone. I was told that I should go to my nearest A&E should I experience uncontrollable vommiting - this I did twice and I was admitted on both occasions to allow me to be rehydrated and for anti sickness medication to be provided via a drip. I was also in possession of a card that I had been given which allowed me to be fast-tracked in A&E - much to the annoyance of the people waiting there. Uncontrolled vomiting during treatment is a serious business and should be treated as such. I do sympathise as the feeling of nausia slowly grinds you down. It is important to keep your nutritional intake up and so the nausia does need to be dealt with.

I think that I moved over to solely PEG tube feeding at about 2 or 3 weeks in. I was unable to swallow more than once or twice a day and even then only a small sip of water. I was completely unable to take food by mouth. Once I'd accepted that the PEG was my life-line and needed to be relied upon totally for a while, things became easier - it took pressure off me and I was able to keep my calorie intake up.

In relation to the pain, Difflam was good but at about the stage you are at I had moved on to morphine (Oramorph). This really helps with the pain management. People may tell you to gargle with aspirin etc, but I quickly realised that I need to move onto the 'big guns' to keep the pain in check.

It might be an idea to do two things, firstly to ask that your anti-sickness meds are reviewed, and secondly to ask for Oramorph. If you find yourself vommiting and unable to keep food or medication in then seriously think about going to A&E - I found the service there first class and they were able to control the sickness and nausia far more effectively than the staff at the cancer clinc were.

The above comments are obviously based solely upon my own experiences and I have no medical expertise whatsoever.

Good luck, Irene. It's a rocky road but it is worth the journey. Things do get better and soon this will all be a bad memory.

Feel free to ask anything you want.

Chin up girl!

Simon XX

Oh Irene

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rubbish time at the moment with side effects of your treatment.

I can't really give you much in the way of advice as haven't gone through what you are. I did wonder wether sucking hard boiled sweets would help at all. Or antiseptic throat sweets. Tell me if I am talking rubbish , I won't mind. I thought they might help with overcoming the dairy/muck in your throat bit. /and give you a few caloires.

The only other thing I can help with is sending a load of supportive hugs and best wishes,

Annabel. xx