Hi Colin, Debbie, Meerkat, Andrea, Annabel,

I'm finally out of hospital after ten days. My operation went well and my recovery has been quick. Apparently I'm "superhuman" accordingly my doctors as I have recovered a bit too quickly!!  Thy can't believe it!

The operation was 8 and a half hours and as planned, 50% of my tongue was removed and replaced using tissues/muscle and an artery from my left arm and a skin graft from my tummy. They also removed my lymph nodes on one side of my neck and removed two wisdom teeth! I was under anaesthetic at 10am on the Thursday morning then in an induced coma in intensive care until the saturday morning. I was then moved to the ward on the Sunday afternoon,

My tongue looks very neat. It's still very swollen on the one side, but the swelling has reduced a lot already. It's odd because part of my tongue is white as in the colour of my arm skin but the old part of the tongue is the usual pinky/red colour! The switches are dissolvable and should come out over the next couple of months. I was told to expect to not be able to talk as soon as I was awake but I was chatting away! My speech was fairly clear too so that pleased me, I didn't even need to use the whiteboard I had bought to communicate! My tummy wound has been fine until now - the dressing was removed yesterday before I left the hospital and it's become itchy and I'm aware of it all of the time whereas before I was not. My neck wound has been fine, very neat and tidy but I can not turn my head too much or too quickly and it has been tighter over the last 24 hours, so I'm going to ask the nurse to look at them today when I'm back at the hospital for an appointment to have the stitches removed from my arm. My arm is by far the worst wound, there is a large area on the inside of my wrist which will be scarred and then a long line up towards the inside if my elbow where the artery was. Luckily I'm not vain and I'm not worried about scars! This wound has been painful at times and it's still heavily dressed with a splint so I can't move it or use my left arm at the moment. I think the removal of the tooth wisdom teeth was probably the most painful part though! This caused a lot of swelling and bruising, I look as though I have been beaten up!

I've never had an operation before so I was very surprised at how incapacitated I was following the operation. I was not allowed out of bed or to sit up at all whilst in intensive care but the day after I got to the ward I was encouraged to move around but I couldn't do much at all. I needed help to sit up, stand, use the loo. My sight was a bit blurred and I couldn't even hold a book or text on my phone. I was very dizzy on my feet for a few days and I didn't expect that at all so that all threw me a little but by 6 or 7 days post op I became very independent. I had a problem with phlegm and saliva for a coupe of days in which I seemed t be producing lots if it but that has settled down now and 6 days following the operation I was allowed to try very small sips of water then on day 7 I was able to try soup. So that's my diet at the moment - soup, ice cream, custard, yoghurt and the nutrition drinks from the hospital. 4 days on and it's already getting tedious!

Overall, it's been ok. My stay in hospital was as comfortable as it could be and I salute all of the doctors and nurses who have looked after me, they've have done a fantastic job and I couldn't have asked for more. I've been sent home with tonnes of medications and instructions but I have felt totally at ease the whole time as I well well informed about everything.

It's so nice to be home and not be poked and prodded every couple of hours for blood pressure checks, temperature etc! I've missed my little girl terribly and everything all still seems a bit surreal, I still can't quite believe what I've gone through and that it happened to me. I now have to wait a week to find out if I will be needing radiotherapy but I'm optimistic that I won't. My surgeon is confident that all of the cancer was removed from my tongue during the operation but they can never be too sure about lymph nodes. It's been an experience but as always, you people were on my ind the whole time. I'm anticipated a long recovery time at home (approx 4 months) which I will certainly make the most of and do as I'm told and rest.

Speak soon,

Nicola

Nicola,

I have been wondering how you are doing when I found your post. It is wonderful that you have and are doing so well. I am delighted to hear you are "superhuman", and home already.

Well done for facing what you had to go through, and I am sure your positive attitude helped overall.

Look forward to chatting over the next few weeks of your recovery.

best wishes

Annabel.

Hi Irene,

I just posted an update then read your latest. Well done for getting through week 1. I've been thinking of you this week.  I'm sorry to hear you were up in the night feeling sorry for yourself, I've had many a night like that over the last few months so I sympathise. I don't remember much difference with my taste buds after the first week, it was more around weeks 3-4 that I noticed a difference with eating with taste buds lost at around week 2. I'm glad you got to enjoy your Christmas though. Jelly was something I was able to eat for a while, you could try that, or rice pudding or custard.

Taking each day as it comes was definitely good advice form Simon, thinking ahead too much just uses up too much time and energy that you won't have at the moments. Ensure you tell the radiographers when you really start to suffer pain wise.  Good luck for this week, how are you getting on with the mask?

Will be continuing to think of you this week.

Nicola xx

Hi Nichola

I just wanted to say I've been reading your posts

And well done for getting though the treatment .

I do hope from now on its gets easier and you get

To enjoy time with your sweet little one.

Takecare Hun xx

Hi Nicola,

Belated 'Happy Christmas' to you!

So glad to read that you were able to enjoy Christmas! Did your little girl have a lovely time too?

Ah, the Buck's Fizz! I finally enjoyed a glass yesterday! Up until then, I'd had a few bad chemo days so we just postponed Christmas and yesterday, was Christmas Day in our house!!

My kids (21 and 23 so not really 'kids') are coming over today to have a meal and open their presents! Guess it's Boxing Day then?

Simon's food tips have been great! Also from a reminiscent point of view too! The good old 70's  We used to have ready meals back then you know ... Vesta curries and noodles (I think that's what the brand name was!) I was only young at the time!

Anyway, enough of my blether!

Keep up the speedy recovery after the radiotherapy! I remember being amazed at how quickly I felt better after its peak; each day far better than the one before!

Nicola, I wish you and everyone else on this thread a Happy New Year!  You're right, we all deserve a good year!!!

Take care, chick,  Jo xxxxxx

Hi everybody,

I hope that you all had a nice Christmas and I wish you all a happy and healthy new year.

Nicola, I really feel that you are on the downhill stretch now. The mucus issue should hopefully resolve itself over the next few days and you can hit the ground running in the new year. Well done for getting to this point and still having a positive attitude - that's what gets you through.

Things are generally good with me. My nightsweats appear to have eased significantly - I have not had one now for 6 days (I have my fingers crossed and I'm touching wood as I type). There is a small fly in the ointment in that I have a small but very painful ulcer on the side of my tongue. When I went for my check up on 19/12 it was painful but there was nothing to see - the oncologist said that he couldn't see anything to worry about. Of course within 48hrs the ulcer reared it's ugly head and is now visible. I discussed this via e-mail with the Macmillan nurse and she has arranged for me to see the oncologist at the end of this week in order that he can have a look at it. Hopefully it's nothing to worry about. One of the things with our situation is that it's easy to become paranoid about every ache, pain and lump. I'm adopting a 'better safe than sorry' attitude.

I still have periods of tiredness, I used to sleep for around 5 hours per night - now I'm up to 8 or 9. I'm still using the PEG for some easy calories each day - the tube comes out on 7/1 so that will force me to take food completely orally. I feel that I'm becoming too reliant on the PEG.

I didn't do trifle on Christmas day but I did do turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing and most of the trimmings (all soaked in lots of gravy). I then had a small amount Christmas pudding with a lot of cream.  I managed to eat about half of it - I find that you get to a point where you know that it would be foolish to struggle on any further. I even had a small scotch and coke.

Irene, well done for getting through week one. I can promise you that the time really does fly by and before you know it all this will be behind you. Meeting people in a similar situation going through the same experiences really helps - a bit like this group really.

Jo - I'm glad that you liked the food suggestions. I'm doing banana and lots of custard today. I had Angel Delight last night (butterscotch, of course). I remember the 70's diet with fondness along with a hint of shame - remember Cadbury's Smash (".....they peel them with their metal knives..........hahahahaha"). Seemed somehow sophisticated at the time). Nicola - you really had to be there!

Happy New Year everyone - 2014 will be much better than 2013!

Simon XX

Dear Nicola, Simon, Jo, Annabel and Friends

Happy New Year!

Despite my best intentions to be asleep long before midnight I found myself sitting up in bed supping an Activia prune yoghurt to welcome in 2014!  I had a slight 'chemo-head' again after Round 2 yesterday but in general it was better than Round 1 and I had a relatively good day yesterday with taste even making very fleeting reappearance.

Was feeling pretty green again this morning but the headache has eased as I've been flushing gallons

down my PEG as advised yesterday.  Last week I drank plenty on day 1 but less on day 2 and it didn't

even occur to me to put it straight into my tummy, so despite hating it at the start, I am already aware it is going to be good friend. I'd lost a couple of kilos since last week (oh how delighted I would have been to see that six months ago) which surprised me because although I've had little appetite I've been going through the motions of shovelling high calorie food down while I still can. They said the dietitician will speak to me soon and probably get me onto supplementary drinks.

The nausea feels very like being pregnant again - the very thought of some things (especially coffee

and alcohol) make me want to heave.  I did buy in a bottle of Advocaat to toast the new year (my

granny's festive tipple) thinking it might be a pick-me-up, but writing about it at it now is quickly becoming a bad idea!   Double radiography on Friday (sounds like a school timetable!) and that will be

week two ticked off.

Nicola - getting on OK with the mask thanks, I don't find it too claustrophobic.  However I had a lot of bother with glut in my throat on my last double session.  The last few days it's been that which has made me retch in the mornings, not the chemo, and I was worried about choking on the radio-bed especially in the later stages.  Radiographers assured me that if/when that happens (not often they said) just to wave my hand and they will release me/do it in stages.  I was worried that this was becoming a problem so early on but as I think I've mentioned before, I've had a problem with catarrh in throat for years so perhaps that's why.  Really pleased to hear you're beginning to feel a bit better after the infection/green goo.  Must have felt like a huge achievement to get out to the shops - well done you - onward and upward!

Annabel - thanks for yours, sounds like you've been a very busy bee over the past few days.  elighted to hear your life is returning to normal.  I'll let you know how I find the book.

Jo - sorry to hear your last chemo days were bad but glad you enjoyed a well deserved Buck's Fizz and what a good idea just to postpone the whole shebang till the 29th.  My best friend who emigrated to Australia in 1981 celebrates Christmas in July every year with a crowd of ex-pats (they do it in the December heat as well).  They rent a lodge in the Blue Mountains (or somewhere else where it's a bit colder) to re-live Christmasses past with all the works - decorations, hats, presents, food, drink, games (and probably hangovers!).  I'm thinking that's a great idea for those of us who haven't had the best Christmas 2013!  Vesta curries and ready-meals made me laugh again. I remember when I was around 12 staying with an adult cousin and his young family and had recently been experimenting

in the 'exciting new Vesta range' so asked if I could buy and make a Chow Mein for them.  I was used to my Mum's gas cooker at home and they had electricity.  The crispy noodles should only be in for seconds but I left them on the ring after switching off - they were of course completely cremated!

Simon - good to hear that you are on the up and the night sweats have eased off.  I can completely understand the 'every ache pain and lump' paranoia and I'm sure that will be all our futures but 'better safe than sorry' it must be!  Glad you enjoyed Christmas Dinner and scotch and coke. That's my hubby's tipple and occasionally mine but I'm more of a wine gal.  Up here (near Perth) he gets lots of stick for adding coke to whisky as you can imagine!  Support nurses said I should have one or two drinks over Christmas if I fancied it before the throat starts to nip - but it's just not of interest.  I was very disappointed not to find any Butterscotch Angela Delight (or any other flavour for that matter) in Tesco's the other day.  It all seems to be ready-pots of custard, rice etc.  No sign of Instant Whip either  Sorry Nicola, more tales from a bygone era!  I am now on the Quaker Golden Syrup instants for breakfast though and boy did I enjoy my ice-cream yesterday!

Well, if I do break the seal on that Advocaat bottle I will be toasting us all, but I've a feeling it may just be the lemonade!  We all deserve a happy 2014 and I'm sure mine will be from March onwards!

Love Irene x

Hi Debs and all of my friends on Cancer Chat. I just wanted to wish you all a great and positive year ahead, also to everyone else who is on here or finds themselves in this predicament . Good luck everyone .

Ferry xx

Thanks, ferry! Happy new year to you and everyone else here too!

Irene, I too was worried I'd choke on the phlegm whilst "masked-up"! However, I used to have a good spit in my large mound of kitchen roll (lovely!) which was always by my side and it was fine. I think the mucus slows down when you lie down!

Debbie

Many thanks Deb, that's comforting to know.  I have been stocking up on kitchen roll though!

So far I'm having a good day , just been to the shops to spend a couple of Christmas vouchers so a nice lift!

Thanks Ferry, I'm a relative newbie and am really finding this forum is great for letting off steam, picking up tips and just brilliant support in general.

HELP!  I can't believe I've gone from two really upbeat 'normal' days to this.  Since yesterday my throat is on fire and I am scarcely eating at all.  Have also been sick 3-4 times since last night for the first time since treatment started - not chemo related, purely a combination of the overdose of dairy products in my tum and muck in my throat.  The very word 'creamy' makes me heave now.  When I saw my support nurse on Friday she told me I was doing all the right things re eating, just trial and error.  I explained the dairy intake was beginning to make me queasy in itself, tried some different soups, etc.  They said I'd see the dietician on my next chemo day as I've lost 2 kilos since last week.  Today I feel as weak as a kitten, anything that has gone down has come back up (inc anti sick pills and painkillers) and I feel that right now I just want to start tube feeding and not have the stress of trying to eat for the sake of it.  I know everyone has different experiences, but did this kick in very quickly and suddenly for others?   They upped my cocodamol dosage last week but it's only barely taking the edge off the pain so hope I can get something stronger soon.  I also have mouthwash as well as Difflan which is soothing but short-lived.  I just tried spaghetti hoops - only managed a couple of spoonfuls.  Also finally found and tried butterscotch Angel D and again can hardly taste it but everything just too damn rich and stomach-turning.  Feeling sorry for myself - any tips?

Irene x

HELP!  I can't believe I've gone from two really upbeat 'normal' days to this.  Since yesterday my throat is on fire and I am scarcely eating at all.  Have also been sick 3-4 times since last night for the first time since treatment started - not chemo related, purely a combination of the overdose of dairy products in my tum and muck in my throat.  The very word 'creamy' makes me heave now.  When I saw my support nurse on Friday she told me I was doing all the right things re eating, just trial and error.  I explained the dairy intake was beginning to make me queasy in itself, tried some different soups, etc.  They said I'd see the dietician on my next chemo day as I've lost 2 kilos since last week.  Today I feel as weak as a kitten, anything that has gone down has come back up (inc anti sick pills and painkillers) and I feel that right now I just want to start tube feeding and not have the stress of trying to eat for the sake of it.  I know everyone has different experiences, but did this kick in very quickly and suddenly for others?   They upped my cocodamol dosage last week but it's only barely taking the edge off the pain so hope I can get something stronger soon.  I also have mouthwash as well as Difflan which is soothing but short-lived.  I just tried spaghetti hoops - only managed a couple of spoonfuls.  Also finally found and tried butterscotch Angel D and again can hardly taste it but everything just too damn rich and stomach-turning.  Feeling sorry for myself - any tips?

Irene x

Hi Irene,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are experiencing some difficulties at the moment.

Thinking back to my treatment this was about the time that I began to suffer with extreme nausia, uncontrollable vommiting and sore mouth/throat. Not sure which chemo you're on but if it is cisplatin like mine then this is renown for sickness related issues. The hospital should supply a strong dose of anti sickness medication - both during the chemo and to take home - to deal with this. Not all anti sickness meds work for everyone. I was told that I should go to my nearest A&E should I experience uncontrollable vommiting - this I did twice and I was admitted on both occasions to allow me to be rehydrated and for anti sickness medication to be provided via a drip. I was also in possession of a card that I had been given which allowed me to be fast-tracked in A&E - much to the annoyance of the people waiting there. Uncontrolled vomiting during treatment is a serious business and should be treated as such. I do sympathise as the feeling of nausia slowly grinds you down. It is important to keep your nutritional intake up and so the nausia does need to be dealt with.

I think that I moved over to solely PEG tube feeding at about 2 or 3 weeks in. I was unable to swallow more than once or twice a day and even then only a small sip of water. I was completely unable to take food by mouth. Once I'd accepted that the PEG was my life-line and needed to be relied upon totally for a while, things became easier - it took pressure off me and I was able to keep my calorie intake up.

In relation to the pain, Difflam was good but at about the stage you are at I had moved on to morphine (Oramorph). This really helps with the pain management. People may tell you to gargle with aspirin etc, but I quickly realised that I need to move onto the 'big guns' to keep the pain in check.

It might be an idea to do two things, firstly to ask that your anti-sickness meds are reviewed, and secondly to ask for Oramorph. If you find yourself vommiting and unable to keep food or medication in then seriously think about going to A&E - I found the service there first class and they were able to control the sickness and nausia far more effectively than the staff at the cancer clinc were.

The above comments are obviously based solely upon my own experiences and I have no medical expertise whatsoever.

Good luck, Irene. It's a rocky road but it is worth the journey. Things do get better and soon this will all be a bad memory.

Feel free to ask anything you want.

Chin up girl!

Simon XX

Hi everyone,

Happy new year to you all!

I've started the new year feeling positive again as I feel noticeably better and more like my old self. I'm feeling stronger and I'm able to cope with doing more things each day without getting tired out so easily although I'm constantly being reminded not to over do it! I have been staying with family for two weeks but I'm back at home now. I'm only taking cocodamol three times a day now but I have some anti biotics for oral thrush (second lot since treatment started) and I've also been prescribed some more anti biotics for my chest infection. Although this improved it got worse again and the green stuff is back! So apart from yet another problem with my PEG, I feel ok. Unfortunately I have an "over granulation" of skin at my PEG site which is where the skin tries to grow over the tube. It was very sore last week so I called the community nurse out to have a look at it and she finally showed me how to unclip the PEG and pull the plastic bit away from my skin so I can apply some steroid cream which she prescribed. It feels a lot bette now, but looks very ugly. I have a huge black scab stuck to my skin - urgh! I'm told this should fall off though in time. I'm still unable to eat via my mouth and still have no taste but it's still early days and I'm in full swing with using my PEG now and I just get on with it. It's become normal for me. I'm still spitting out the extra saliva/mucus. I keep remembering that Debbie said I should be able to stop spitting by new year, unfortunately I've not been tha lucky, but I do see an improvement.

Simon - glad to hear the night sweats have improved and that you could enjoy Christmas dinner. Are you going ahead with the PEG removal tomorrow? Is there an update from the oncologist about your ulcer? I was only treated on one side of my mouth but I now get ulcers on both sides of my mouth. I worried about this too but my head and neck nurse assured me that it's to do with the imbalance of chemicals in my mouth from the treatment and was completely normal. Hopefully this was the same for you.

Irene - sorry to hear how you are feeling. You must be beginning week three now and when I think back to my week three, my taste buds had gone but I didn't feel too bad otherwise. Ask if you can speak to somebody next time you go for treatment, don't wait for your next review. There is always some advice or medication that can be offered rather than you suffering, the main priority is to get through the treatment - radiotherapy especially - so you'll get all the help you need to ensure this happens. If you are struggling with food/liquids via mouth, put some through your tube instead. You can still try and eat orally as well but anything you can't manage that way, use the tube instead. Doing a gradual change from mouth to tube is probably better than a straight swap as I did, as I then found it hard mentally to get used to it. I hope you begin to feel better and keep telling yourself that this isn't forever. In a few weeks time you'll have completed treatment and can begin to recover. That's now I got through it. Always come on here for help and support too    I've been thinking about you.

Speak soon,

Nicola xx

Oh Irene

I am sorry to hear you are having such a rubbish time at the moment with side effects of your treatment.

I can't really give you much in the way of advice as haven't gone through what you are. I did wonder wether sucking hard boiled sweets would help at all. Or antiseptic throat sweets. Tell me if I am talking rubbish , I won't mind. I thought they might help with overcoming the dairy/muck in your throat bit. /and give you a few caloires.

The only other thing I can help with is sending a load of supportive hugs and best wishes,

Annabel. xx

Hiya Nicola,

Welcome back and Happy New Year to you. One things for sure - this year will be better than last year!

I'm glad to hear that you are making good progress and that you are slowly feeling stronger. You are making faster progress than I did but I put that down to my advanced years! Sorry to hear about your PEG though - the PEG tube has really been problematic for you right from the beginning. I hope that things improve now that you can adjust it.

I have deliberately refrained from using my PEG for 5 or 6 days now. This is in readiness for its removal tomorrow (which I'm going ahead with). I'm not quite managing to get in the 2500 calories orally but my weight is stable so I'm happy to go ahead. The tube has really been a life-line for me as I went several weeks without any food or drink by mouth. Having said that I'll be glad to see the back of it. It still amazes me to think that they weren't going to give you a PEG.

I'm sure that your mucus situation will resolve itself soon. How I hated carrying a blooming kitchen roll around with me!

The oncologist looked at my ulcer on Friday and said that he was confident that it wasn't anything to worry about. He was of the view that where my tongue is still slightly swollen it was rubbing on my back teeth that this had led to the ulcer. The ulcer has shrunk slightly over the last 48hrs and is now less painful than before. That is a huge relief because, as you know, these things can play on your mind. I'm sorry to hear about your ulcers - I found that Difflam was good at dealing with the pain (it stings a bit at first but then it goes to work and the pain subsides for a couple of hours).

Well done for getting this far, Nicola.

Speak soon.

Simon xx 

Hi Irene, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping you're ok. I really understand these difficult times as it wasn't so long ago I was in your position but it feels so long ago already! Three weeks after treatment has ended and I'm feeling pretty good! This will be you before you know it!

Also, the book Annabel told you about is a brilliant read, I couldn't put it down. Annabel told me about it too a little while ago and I went straight onto Amazon and ordered myself a copy.

A big thumbs up for completing week three, rest up over the weekend xx

Hi Simon,

How was the removal of your PEG? Did it go ok? Was it all straight forward and pain free? Are you still finding it a little painful to eat/drink? I hope you're doing ok. Yes I agree that any ulcer, pain or lump in the mouth is going to be a huge worry for us going forwards, however, we must remember that the chances of it being anything serious are very slim after the bout of radiotherapy we have had, as the whole area has been sterilised. Still well worth getting checked out though, I've had my oncologist look at a couple of ulcers in my mouth too during treatment.

My PEG is lot better thanks, the nasty big black scab has now fallen off following the use of some steroid cream twice a day and I can now spin it again. I had a review yesterday with my head and neck nurse, dietician and speech therapist who all said that they are really pleased with my progress and say I'm doing really well. I had to get a second round of anti biotics from my GP for my chest infection, these are stronger and I have to take four doses a day. That along with another dose of another anti biotics for oral thrush, four feeds a day and three doses of pain killers and a laxative, I feel like I'm constantly filling my PEG with something! I'm well used to it now though and do it all without thinking about it. God only knows what I would have done without my PEG, as troublesome as it has been for me! The mucus issue is noticeably better but I'm still carrying a loo roll everywhere I go!

I say well done to us both for coming this far!

Speak soon,

Nicola xx

Hi Niccola,

So glad to hear you sounding so upbeat and chipper.

Happy New Year to you and wishing you all the best

Hugs

Annabel. xx

Hi Nicola,

I am so pleased that you are making such good progress. I'm sure that the mucus issue with resolve itself soon - that for me was one of the worst side-effects.

The PEG came out without any problems. I had sedation - you don't go to sleep but you get a bit drowsy and before you know it it's all over. I now have what looks like a small bullet hole in the middle of my stomach. It is nice not to have the tube flopping about everywhere.

You're right when you say that PEG feeding becomes part of the usual routine. I used to wander around the kitchen watching TV whilst feeding or medicating myself. I used to mutter the odd rude word when I removed the syringe without closing the valve and the contents would  squirt out everywhere (much to the entertainment of my wife) - I did that frequently in the beginning - happy days!

Things are generally still going well with me. I am now finding that I can eat food that is hotter than lukewarm in temperature and I can now take soft bread and slightly rougher food (fish in breadcrumbs covered with sauce for example). My tongue and mouth are slowly becoming less sore.

I visited the dentist for a regular checkup today and I discussed my lack of saliva with him. Apart from the obvious increased risk of decay, he mentioned that a number of his other patients who have had this issue have found that regular rinsing with salty water can help to stimulate the saliva glands back into life. I was aware of the cleansing action of salt water but I hadn't heard of this potential benefit. I will give it a go as there's nothing to lose and something potentially to gain. I'll let you know how this goes.

My appetite is well below what it used to be pre-treatment and I haven't put any weight on, but I'm sure things will improve now that my sore mouth is getting better. We're going to try a Chinese takeaway tomorrow night - that would have been unthinkable a couple of weeks ago. A curry is a long way off yet though.

One strange thing - As each day goes on I develop a strange double chin. The area under my chin seems to fill with fluid and when I get up the following morning it's reduced again. I've done some research and this appears to be something called lymphedema. It's caused by the frying of some of the tubes leading to the lymph nodes. I don't think it's serious and as I'm not considering a career as a male model I'm not too bothered. Apparently it may resolve itself in time. There is a video on YouTube showing how to massage it away if it's a problem - I can't post the link as this site won't let me but anyone reading this who is interested can search YouTube using 'Lymphedema self massage'.

I really am so pleased the progress you are making, Nicola - well done.

Simon xx

Dear Simon and Friends

Bless you Simon, I saw your message just as I was getting ready to leave for hospital but didn't have time to reply and they kept me in for 3 nights which was just what was needed to sort things out.  I retched and vomited all night.  Just seemed to be an endless white then yellow river if you get my drift.  I even wrote a rather dark and disgusting poem about it later!   Rang hospital who said no need to go straight in as my temperature was fine but to report to the Ward first thing going in for radio downstairs anyway and they would admit me to try and sort things out.  I really should have called earlier in the day but it's a lesson learnt.  They did say that it was likely the double treatments to compensate for Public Hols may have caused a sudden excess of mucus.  Anyway I also had a touch of thrush, so medicine for that.  Was put on a morphine/anti-sickness driver for 2 x 24 hour infusions plus rehydration drips.  They reviewed my usual meds (I am on Domperidone - why does it sound like champagne? four times a day) plus a 3 day thing the name of which I've forgotten, plus steroids plus the anti-sickness drip that goes through just before the Cisplatin.  They have always stressed that they can try lots of anti-emetics if required.  So on the Ward I also had 2-3 injections for sickness and they've given me some of that home with me too.  I was also on Oramorph and that was  brilliant, however I could tell that my dedicated support nurse was surprised they had put me on it so soon.  I have some of that at home now too but have not yet taken it as the throat has calmed down considerably and would like to hold off using it for a bit longer as I know I'll need it in later stages.  So back home yesterday like a new woman, albeit almost completely PEG feeding now.  Just hadnt expected it all to happen so suddenly!  I'm struggling a bit to get the right quantities down me but I think that needs my bowels to swing into action first - sorry TMI but I guess we've all been there!  Thanks for the info re A&E though, it's a 40 minute drive from home to Ninewells in Dundee, but there is an A&E at our local hospital in Perth so will bear that in mind.  I hope all is well with you, I'm not very good at picking up all the threads and I don't want to sound all 'me me me'!  Oh yes I think I remember there is no concern about your mouth ulcer, thank goodness.  I have a few of those at the mo which they say are not linked to the radiotherapy as you can see a definite line now where they are treating me.  It's more to do with teeth rubbing against tender/swollen tongue as you also described.

Nicola - so glad to hear you are on the road to recovery albeit slowly.  Pity about further PEG problems though, it really has been a thorn in your side added to all the other problems you could well have done without.  So nice to know you have been thinking about me and yes, that is me at the end of week three now.  I have learnt the lesson to ask for help when needed and have called my support nurse again today.

Annabel - lovely to hear from you.  Re sweets I've been trying everything under the sun I think.  For a long time Ricola herbal sweets were working for me but now almost anything with fruit in nips like mad  However today I did discover that I am enjoying sparkling water better than plain so that's a bonus.  I just wish I could find something that tastes nice though.  Strangely enough I always manage to eat well on chemo days in hospital.  I think they said this was likely to be the effect of one of the pre chemo flushes?  I was amazed to eat a whole bowl of soup and then custard on Tuesday!  That reminds me of another story, when I went down from chemo ward for radio I was hooked up to driver drugs on one side and chemo drip on the other.  When I came out of radio (helped by therapists to dress) I was sitting in the waiting area for the porter to wheel me back to ward when I realised my right hand was hurting like hell and when I looked down it was a big balloon.  The radiotherapists said don't worry a nurse is coming for you shortly (to escort me back to the ward).  I said I was fairly sure this needed urgent attention, but luckily my nurse arrived seconds later (an auxiliary I think) and went oh my god GET THAT SWITCHED OFF NOW furiously stabbing at buttons on monitor, and marched me back up with my arm in the air.  No great harm done but fortunately it was only the pre-chemo flush going through.  I asked my chemo nurse what would have happened if it had been the chemo going into tissue not vein and was told ' erm something more drastic altogether' eek narrow escape!  Oh yes and I got the book and read it within a day.  I have now given it to my chemo-buddy Donna who has been through a very similar experience with having tongue reconstruction.,  Thanks so much for recommending it.

Lots of love and thanks to you all.

Irene x

Thanks so much Nicola, that's really encouraging.  I'm so pleased that the worst is behind you now.  Yes I found the book a tremendous read, very uplifting and have passed it on to my chemo buddy Donna, who like you had to have part of her tongue reconstructed.  My goodness what Lia Mills went through with that dreadful leg problem on top of all the other horrors it makes my little hiccup pale into insignificance.  However having said that I was very much in the gloom in the wee small hours last Sunday night and feel totally different today.  I will be having a quiet weekend though!  Lots of love, Irene x