Hi,

My name is Laura and I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in December.  I am up to my 3rd chemo on Feb 28,  A Little nervous because I will probably lose the rest of my hair.  My second treatment I was tired for 3 days and was not able to sleep, probably because I was taking nausea medicine.  Now I am feeling just great.

Hi Laura,

Welcome to our group..xx

I too lost my hair the first time around as I was on carbo/taxol, it didn't bother me though. It does now as I had lovely red hair and it grew back grey and curly, my curls have gone now as I have my hair cut every 4 weeks so it is now straight. I miss my hair though..

It is the steriods that keep you awake after the chemo which is such a pain.

Are you having the 6 cycles and are they going to operate ?

Love Eileen xxxxx

Hi Eileen,

Yes I am having six cycles and they did operate with a fulll hysterectomy, and got 95% of it out.  The rest they are getting with the chemo.  I am on taxon and carboplnum. supposed to be very good.  I hope my next treatment will go well.  Thank you so much for writing me.  This is such a wonerful site.  I am glad I joined.  Talk to you soon.

Love,

Laura

Hi Laura,

I should have had 6 two years ago but I could only stand 5 as it made me so ill. The plan was 3 cycles, scan and full hysterectomy with a further 3 to follow. When they did the scan half way through they decided that they couldn't operate so I finished the chemo and asked again to see the surgeon. He said he was wary about the op as it was so close to the bowel but eventually agreed. They got it all and I had a further 2 chemo's ( should have been 3 but again I couldn't take anymore ) Unfortunately it came back in July I think it was this year ( I have chemo brain & can't remember anything ) ha ha ..It has grown back were it started  well where the ovaries was, in the pelvis and a few cells dotted about, I have it wrapped around the vein in the top of my right leg. Anyway I get my scan results tomor so hopefully they will do something about this cystic mass I have as it seems to be obstructing my bowel and for the past 7 weeks I have put up with it so I am going to tell them tomor enough is enough and I want it draining.

Sorry to have gone on a bit ha ha but it's good to let others know yourstory and you can compare notes....

Love as always Eileen xxxx

Good luck today, Eileen!

Love Hazel xxx

Aw Thanks Hazel,

I am always so nervous on the day of results as everything goes through your mind. I try to prepare myself for bad news.

Will let you know tonight anyway. Hope it's good news...

Eileen xxx

Thinking of you today Eileen hugggggggggggggggs

Dot xxxxxxx

Thanks Dot for your message.

Well everyone I had my results and they weren't very good. The chemo hasn't worked so they have stopped it. They are changing it to another one which starts on the 1st March . My Dr I saw today is Chinese so I found him quite hard to understand. I asked him for the name of the chemo I will be having but I didn't hear too well. All I know is that I will have it 1 day a week and stay overnight in hospital for it. Plus tablets to take as well, it's a 6 week cycle. I will lose my hair again but I don't mind that as you know..

I have also asked for a picc line to be put in as my vein's are knackered and I dread the needle ( something that never bothered me 2 years ago )

All in all I am ok and hopefully this chemo will work. I knew that last one wasn't doing anything.

Love to all Eileen xxxx

Ps I hope Jackie is ok xxxx

Darling, so sorry to read your news, makes me so cross that we have to wait to get things done.   But Eileen, if anyone can do it, you can, you've done it before! 

Much love, Hazel xxx

Hi Eileen,

I just want to tell you how sorry I am.  You are in my prayers and thoughts.  I will be in touch.  Love you.

Laura

Hi Eileen,

I just want to tell you how sorry I am.  You are in my prayers and thoughts.  I will be in touch.  Love you.

Laura

Hi, Laura,

Just wanted to wish you well for your next chemo tomorrow!
(I'm doing it now as I can never remember the time difference between UK & US - ignoramus that I am!)

Love Hazel xxx

Sorry Ladies it's me again back to vent because there is nowhere else I can do this. I have to be strong for Mary and for our family and friends, trying to keep things as normal as possible, because I will just crumble from too much fuss and kindness from friends.

We had a pretty good weekend but I guessed it would all come crashing down at some point! Mary was not feeling great this morning and had a planned visit from the Hospice nurse this afternoon, lovely lady, she has been a few times before but I'm not sure if it's good for Mary or not. I thought maybe it gives her a chance to get stuff off her chest that she may not want to speak to us about, but I'm not so sure now.

Well, Mary let her read her letter from the hospital to the doctor (which we get copied on), and although she was really nice, Mary thought her expression showed concern that her condition was far more serious than Mary originally thought, although she didn't say that. Too much technical jargon in the letter for us to understand, and not sure we want to know, just get on with treatment and hope for the best. The Oncology team seemed quite relaxed about it all at the hospital, of course cancer is always serious but you always have to believe and trust that you may have a chance of being cured.

So we had a lot of tears this evening, I cancelled my planned squash game so I could stay at home to support her. She say's the nurse is coming again next week and I feel like calling her and telling her not to bother, as she will probably just upset her again somehow.

I am finding this really tough at the moment, I know you have all had your share of low points too, and I know there are plenty of people who are worse off, just wanted to get it off of my chest. I know my (grown up) kids are worried too, we are all trying to put on a brave face and keep things normal, sometimes you feel like you need a shoulder but you don't want to burden anyone with your troubles.

We have a big family holiday planned in June, flights booked to Florida, now I'm wondering if it's going to happen!

I really hope this Chemo on Thursday makes her feel better, otherwise I dread to think what will happen next!

Anyway, thanks if you have read this and I hope you are all feeling as well as you can do under the circumstances.

Best wishes,

John

Oh John,

My heart went out to you reading your message, you do seem to be carrying a lot of troubles on your shoulders and need to talk to someone so who better than us lot...Can I ask why a nurse from the hospice is calling on Mary, I myself would feel quite alarmed to be honest if someone came to see me. ( Or is she a friend as well )

I think you should take a few steps back and think that when Mary was first diagnosed how you coped and when the treatment started how things improved. You even managed a holiday abroad something I have always felt too weak / ill to do. So whatever is in the letter remember the Dr's don't always get it right and their are lots of people with cancer that are still here when they really should not be.

They are still giving all of us treatment and until the day comes when they say I am sorry but we can't do anymore then we will fight it. I have had 5 cycles of chemo my last on the 13th Jan only to find out that it hasn't worked. I have to start another 6 cycles of a very aggressive chemo and I am dreading it, but I am doing it because I don't want to die just yet.

So John take each day as it comes and wait and see what happens, and please try and take it easy as you won't be helping Mary if you become ill from stress.

Love as always Eileen xxxx

Hi Laura,

I second those wishes that Hazel sent to you..

Good luck and be strong.

love Eileen xxxxx

John, Eileen has said almost exactly what I was going to say - you cannot take it all on your shoulders or you will be heading for a breakdown and where would Mary be then?   By all means be strong for your closest family, but surely you are allowed to cry on a good friend's shoulder, why do you have to be strong for everybody? 

Of course you can always let it out here, but we can't hold you and give you a hug, unfortunately -  though I'm sure we all would if we could!

I think today must have something about it, as I haven't felt very well either, nor has my partner.

Tomorrow is another day, John, as the saying goes.

Love to you both,

Hazel xxx

Hazel,

Sorry to see your not very good today, what is wrong ? xxxx

After I sent John that message last night, I thought after was I to blunt in saying it. But he works and looks after Mary so in my opinion he is taking on far to much. As you say he needs a hug. He should go for a few glasses of wine with a friend male / female and offload. I was telling my partner last night in bed and he said yeah I know how he feels, he agreed with with me. My partner is new and we have only been together 9 months but he is the most amazing man I have ever met. He makes me laugh and treats me like a queen but I know it is hard for him to see me suffer so god only knows how John feels as him and Mary have been together for years.

Jackie we need your help so hurry up back online. She is the wise old ( even though she is the youngest )

Anyway Hazel keep warm today and hope your feeling better soon.

Love always Eileen xxx

Ps Dot are you ok ????

Hello, Eileen.

I'm not so bad today, thanks - it's just that now and then my poor old squashed bowel won't work properly ( I think you know the feeling?!) and I get so bloated that everything is pressing on everything else and the pain is quite bad non-stop until I can go to the loo again.  I sometimes wish I never had to eat again so that my insides could have a good rest!  Anyway, I"ll try to stick to a liquid diet today - Complan, soup etc - which is almost as restful for the old insides, but I do like my food so it's a blooming nuisance!

Re. your message to John, I do think he needed to be told to let go a bit - typical bloke, has to try to be strong, when no true friend would mind if he let it all out now and then and had a good cry.

Have you decided whether you will go for your new chemo on Thursday?  I really, really do hope you're feeling well enough, Eileen - keep us posted, anyway.

Until then, much love, Hazel xxx 

PS have just changed my avatar, not sure if it wasn't better before!

Hazel xxx

Hazel at last a face to the name...

Aw well you certainly don't look ill, in fact you look very good...

Yes I do the the feeling about the bowel. I have taken 1 imodium this morning as I am sick of going to the loo and just doing nothing really, anyway I took another one before as I need the bowel to stop going into spasm before Thursday. Have you tried sitting over a bucket / bowl of hot steaming water ? It helps to get the bowel moving but be careful not to burn yourself... I wish I had a bidet as I would fill it full of hot soapy water and wait and see ? It would be so comfy...My problem is the same as you, the  tumour pressing against the bowel but I had bowel trouble since I can remember ( always going and never constipated ) it has been the brunt of my life. I have been eating smaller meals as well, but like you I love my food. I am praying that this next chemo will do something to ease it because I have no quality of life, never been able to go anywhere.

It is Friday my chemo starts and Thursday for the picc line and bloods to be done. I got mixed up with the dates with it being February...

Anyway Hazel I have babbled on a bit so shall go. Please try the water thing but be careful..

Love always Eileen xxxx

Gordon Bennett, Eileen, the things we have to do!  I might try the hot water method next time, but I don't want a burnt bum so I can't sit down when I go to chemo next week!

So you are going for the new treatment then - thank goodness, and let's hope you can get through it OK.

Much love, Hazel xxx