Hi. It looks like this discussion thread has been going a long time and i hope i will be able to join the community here. I was diagnosed with breast cancer just after xmas and have had a mastectomy last week. I have a secondary tumor in my hip and possibly in my head so will have to face chemo and radiotherapy although I dont know the details as yet. I would love to make friends on here who i can both support and find support from on this journey. I have 2 grown up children and they have surprised me recently as to how supportive they can be. It certainly is a case of role reversal in my house. Chassis x x

Hi Chassis

Welcome to the place no-one wants to be.Hope you are coping with the mastectomy and glad to see you have support at home.I had mastectomy 4 years ago and have recurrance in the lymph glands in my neck and chest .I have been on chemo for 2 years to contain it and like you have 2 grown up children and 3 grandchildren ,so plenty of reasons to fight on.Hope you have a good medical team looking after you.What part of the world do you live in?We are a well scattered lot on here.

Stay strong.

Rose xxx

Leonie babe, you're the most upbeat person on this forum, you have young kids to look after, a husband and most importantly yourself. I only have me to think about when I open my eyes in the morning as my girls are grown up and I dont need to get them up for school etc, my John has been amazing through all this as you know, just like your Jon, but they are only human and sometimes it gets too much for them too, but I dont know if you feel this way but sometimes when john is struggling with it, i get emotional cause I think he wants out, like some other partners have done on here and I keep waiting for this amazing man to walk out on me, but he wont and i need to realise that, so if thats what youre worried about DONT! You are such an inspiration to me and the rest of the people on here, look youre already helping 2 new women, please just take time to breathe and relax, book yourself in for a massage and Jon too, im sure he could be doing with one, if I lived nearer Id pop in and mind the kids lol. Your a gorgeous lady, keep your chin up. Lots of love Col xx

PS hello to the new girls xx

hi ladies

thanks for your support n kind messages about me. i wish he would go out sometimes but he wont, he just tries to be nice n im already upset! gets annoying! ha. its not that im afraid he will leave cos i know he wont. its because hes give up smoking n so have i. ive never mentioned it before cos i was embarassed about still smoking n having cancer. but i couldnt of dealt with the stress of giving up while everything else was going on. ive been ok with it, want one sometimes but ive not been moody. jon however has been n had to be told off a few times in the last 6 weeks! we dont argue normally but have had 3 lately. hes been loads better since but when he gets mardy i want to smoke then..! hes not a moody person n think thats why it upsets me so much. sometimes its like he forgets how much i hurt n im just being lazy. i know sometimes hes fed up of doing everything.

sent him back to work in oct but theres so much i cant do cos of my arms etc n medication, that he had to give his managers job up cos he couldnt put in the hours. now hes part time on the tills n charly goes play school on the days he works. he had already had 10 months on the sick to look after me n charly. it just annoys me how upset i get cos hes mardy. it makes me think about how i do feel really n not 'im fine' thing. its not fair for him but i find it hard to deal with.

much love leonie xxxx

well done on giving up smoking, I gave up about 5 years ago but when I was diagnoed the first thing I wanted was a ciggie, I didnt take one, but how it wouldve calmed me down. You guys will be grand, just keep  your chin up babe. I feel good these days but still have this pain in my neck and ive got it in my head its something more sinister, but think thats natural, just waiting on oncologist appt, takes up to 8 weeks after radio finishes, sometimes i think scotland is way behind as no one else seems to wait this long or do they? x

hi netty

nice to meet you. have you spoken to the nurses? maybe you should just have a chat with them n see what they think. dont forget that they are there to support n if you need emotional support or any other, thats their job.

love leonie xx

Hey Leonie,

firstly, we get so upset with our other halves because we are so close to them, and in a way we share each others pain. we blow up a bit here too and i am learning to accept this is yet another side effect. Please remember that normal arguments would ensue without a thought - but now they are all connected to the feelings and side effects that occur as a result of diagnosis and treatment. we go through so many emotions. Im glad you came here to rant, it's what we are here for - and yes i noticed too that in the net breath you were helping others.

Give yourself a bit of a break and a pat on the back too, because caring and feeling is what makes us human, and there are too many people in this world who don't have those human qualities. yes it hurts, but it must be more painful to not have love and compassion.  sending you a huge hug.

well, that's the chemo done, and now i have the radio to look forward to. I am so scared - I know i should give up smoking and i shall relaly try, and will keep you updated. |it is so hard when you have so much stress. I am worried as well about the shrinkage of the tissue and having lop sided boobs, and then remind myself of how so many of you have already coped with far more to worry about. I am concerned about tattoos as they are the on thing i would never ever ever have, and then not being able to go topless on holiday this year. i wanted so much just to have the wedding and then a 'normal' holiday. Oh this thing is such tosh.

The hair is still very slowly creeping through, the tooth is still missing and the feel better course is still fully booked and it looks like June before i can have a makeover. Such is life!

most of the time i am doing well and pretty positive, but it makes such a difference being able to moan here about things that given the circumstances would be seen as trivial to anyone else. Just being able to say i am p****ed off or feel ugly lightens the load.

love sara xx

My dear Lonie, I do know how you feel, even though Im feeling much better these days I remember only too well the pain and the sickness always trying to put a smile on my face, crack a joke and remain positive for everyone else, and then when it just got that little bit too much for me  and I couldnt manage that smile or that little joke my husband would ask me what was wrong!!! I would bark at him IVE GOT CANCER THATS WHATS WRONG and he would snap at me saying it wasnt his fault and why was I being moody with him....AAAARRRRGGGHHH I just wanted to say ..because I need to be moody with someone at some point or I will go crazy but because he was cross with me I would just curl up into a ball and sob like there was no tomorrow,,, most unlike me!

Until this moment I had never and I mean NEVER let a man reduce me to such a pitiful and emotional wreck, yet It wasnt really him doing it to me, it was my condition and it only hurt so much because I love him so much as indeed you love your husband, he is your rock and sometimes rocks become slippery and we fall and hurt ourselves but we get back up and when we look around the rock is still there and always will be.

You will get past this and one day you will not be able to remember how bad you felt even though you may try.

You will be strong again and laugh again and your good days will be many.

I send you my love and a great big strength hug.

Lee xxxxxxxx

A huge welcome to the new girls! Im sorry your here but you wont meet a greater bunch of women.

Hi leonie

I wanted to say thank you for starting this post.It is partly good because in hospital people always seem to be carrying things off more graciously than i can manage,finding that other people have dark days puts things in perspective.I am sure he does not really think you are lazy,it must make him sad seeing you in pain and men do seem to have a tendency to cover their feelings with a good huff /mardy.That is such a good word.I hope things are going better for you.

I

Hello to all

I have been catching up on the chat and have laughed about Miranda in Tony's shed and had visions of a blow up dolly until I realised he was referring to his bike! and laughed even more at Colly's f***y magnet and the images that it has conjured up in some of your minds, lol.  That story has been told down the local pub!

To Lonie I say here here to what all the others have said, I hope that you will soon be feeling stronger and pain free, it makes me realise how lucky I have been with the side effects.  My Hubby used to go down the pub and the guys there have really helped him through and I thank them all as it really helps to talk to someone and do something normal.

Good news to share - I became a Grannie yesterday for the first time, our son and wife produced a boy, we are so happy.  Amongst all this s**t we have a bundle of joy to bring us happiness. I held him yesterday and thought what a miracle life is and long may it continue.

Love to you all

Anne

x

hi anne

this page is great isnt it. you can laugh as well as cry! thanks for what you said, means a lot. wish he would go out but he doesnt like to do things without me. only golf n thats not cheap. anyway, congratulations! to you n all your family. just what was needed for you all n to remember how precious life is. its not always bad news. again im so pleased for you n your family.

lots of love leonie xxxxx

Thank you Lonie you are so thoughtful

x

Thank you Lonie you are so thoughtful

x