Hi. It looks like this discussion thread has been going a long time and i hope i will be able to join the community here. I was diagnosed with breast cancer just after xmas and have had a mastectomy last week. I have a secondary tumor in my hip and possibly in my head so will have to face chemo and radiotherapy although I dont know the details as yet. I would love to make friends on here who i can both support and find support from on this journey. I have 2 grown up children and they have surprised me recently as to how supportive they can be. It certainly is a case of role reversal in my house. Chassis x x

Hi Chassis

Welcome to the place no-one wants to be.Hope you are coping with the mastectomy and glad to see you have support at home.I had mastectomy 4 years ago and have recurrance in the lymph glands in my neck and chest .I have been on chemo for 2 years to contain it and like you have 2 grown up children and 3 grandchildren ,so plenty of reasons to fight on.Hope you have a good medical team looking after you.What part of the world do you live in?We are a well scattered lot on here.

Stay strong.

Rose xxx

so lovely to see everyone back with their tales, i missed the chat! Interesting about the magnet, i wonder if it means i can push the trolley hands free??!! The chemo arm aches so a change is as good as a rest.

i've been having sort of 'hot flushes' but they were always described to me as rising from within and lasting from one to ten minnutes. i seem to get very hot - head sweats which is yuck and find it hard  to settle at night with the heat. I have been keeping as active as possible - not cut down on tea thou or the cigs but i am definately going to give them up. I have set myself a target to quit, but not til after my birthday on 5th as i want to enjoy completely with champers and no cravings! this is my mile stone before radio starts.

My daughter and her kiddies moved out this week into their own place at last, and although I am looking forward to some quality US time i am missing them terribly. you never switch off from being a mum and it gave me a role again. Never mind, have taken up knitting and sewing again - just need a sewing machine! hand stitching takes so long. No complaints thou, I am pretty good for two weeks out of three and the other week we dont mention as i am rough rough rough, but compared to some of you mine has been easy.

wishing you all well

sara xxx

hi

congratulations on finishing treatment! glad you like this page. the shampoo i mentioned is for thickening your hair. a lady put up a post about it a while back n swears by it. its a few pages back called hair thickening if you want to read it. let us know how youre getting on.

leonie xx 

Hello Lonie

Thank you for the advice on that recommended shampoo I am going to try and get some for my daughter , she's massaging her scalp now with Olive Oil as another person recomended

Love Brenda Shropshire UK

hi not feeling great today. well thats not true cos i havent felt great for a long time but you learn to cope dont you. im less happy basically cos my husband got in a bit of a mood n am bothered about how much it affects me.

i know he is the one i spend nearly all my time with, n that he has been through so much but when he gets moody it has such an affect on me. n he doesnt even have to do anything bad. but i go from coping  to annoyed to thinking about how flipping bad i really do feel. i have pain every single day n struggle sometimes to rise above it, but i do most of the time. some days are worse than others. i get up n joke about a bit do things when i can. i try to be n actlike a mother to my 3 kids. i try to be a wife n act like one. i try to be an owner of a dog n act like one. but every single day i hurt n still try to act like im ok. friends family ask how i am n im ok. but when my husband gets in a mardy mood i slowly lose that ability to rise above it all.

when i was going through chemo, i had no energy for anything. to walk into the next room would kill me. for my little one to just cuddle me was painful. if he leant on my legs or anything id be in so much pain. boys would try n talk to me n i would get annoyed cos of noise n confusion. id try to talk but would muddle my words n they would take mick a bit, n i would get annoyed cos of how much energy it took. or the pain i was in. to clean my teeth was a twice daily torture n to eat...

since then things have improved in every way. but i still have a lot of pain n a year after surgery its hard to cope with. my treatment has finished but i have so much to still put up with. my cancer should be gone but things still hurt. im having to take medication to combat chemo problems which stop me from driving being 'with it' n being able to cope with it all. i cant take more of the med i need cos of how it makes me feel. i cant wait for pain management app!

when i have a drink i can get in a better mood. it can give me energy that i dont normally feel. it can allow me to think about my kids in all their torment of feelings etc. it can give me energy n the mind to think about what i should be doing or feeling. it can make me feel human n normal ish again. but if my husband does my head in, i cant bounce back. i should be on the mend now n however much i try, i dont feel like ive just beaten cancer.

im sorry, some might not be used to me talking like this n i dont want you worrying. sometimes life is just hard..!! bloody hard n its not my husbands fault if hes mardy. but at the same time, its not mine either! any advise on how to deal with it is much appreciated.

love leonie xxxx

dear leonie

you have been thru so much ,everyone has a different set of circumstances , it is hard on everyone xxxxxxx

will email u xxx lots love and hugs xxxx xxxxxx

What are you like? you show us how down you are and then go straight to helping someone else .I dont know how you have stayed sane during your treatment,you have suffered more than anyone and had the children to look after as well.I know your husband has been a rock to you all but he is right in the firing line.I really hope the pain management will do the trick.When my husband is in a mood,which isnt often love him,i send him out and tell him to go to see one of his mates or something because if he stays in it will wind me up and a bit of space lets you calm down.This time of year doesnt help either,it is so cold and cloudy,we need some sunshine to boost us.

Have a good old ramble when you feel like lovely girl,thats what we are here for.

Love Rose xxx

Hi Rose and everyone on this particular thread,have decided to join in as it seems to be THE page to be on !!! lol Have left a message for Donna on her thread, my laptop is playing up and husband is makeing funny noises about emptying it or something?????anyhow I have aposer for you all. A friend who is haveing similiar treatment to me BC but a more invasive type has a macmillon nurse comeing to her house and she says she is wonderfull (' natch)   she says I too should ask them to come to me but I honestly don't think I need help at the moment.I would feel guilty takeing up their time when someone else who is worse could benefit,but she keeps suggesting insisting I should ! anyone got any suggestions before husband starts fiddling with my lifeline laptop .....love Netty  xxx

Leonie babe, you're the most upbeat person on this forum, you have young kids to look after, a husband and most importantly yourself. I only have me to think about when I open my eyes in the morning as my girls are grown up and I dont need to get them up for school etc, my John has been amazing through all this as you know, just like your Jon, but they are only human and sometimes it gets too much for them too, but I dont know if you feel this way but sometimes when john is struggling with it, i get emotional cause I think he wants out, like some other partners have done on here and I keep waiting for this amazing man to walk out on me, but he wont and i need to realise that, so if thats what youre worried about DONT! You are such an inspiration to me and the rest of the people on here, look youre already helping 2 new women, please just take time to breathe and relax, book yourself in for a massage and Jon too, im sure he could be doing with one, if I lived nearer Id pop in and mind the kids lol. Your a gorgeous lady, keep your chin up. Lots of love Col xx

PS hello to the new girls xx

hi ladies

thanks for your support n kind messages about me. i wish he would go out sometimes but he wont, he just tries to be nice n im already upset! gets annoying! ha. its not that im afraid he will leave cos i know he wont. its because hes give up smoking n so have i. ive never mentioned it before cos i was embarassed about still smoking n having cancer. but i couldnt of dealt with the stress of giving up while everything else was going on. ive been ok with it, want one sometimes but ive not been moody. jon however has been n had to be told off a few times in the last 6 weeks! we dont argue normally but have had 3 lately. hes been loads better since but when he gets mardy i want to smoke then..! hes not a moody person n think thats why it upsets me so much. sometimes its like he forgets how much i hurt n im just being lazy. i know sometimes hes fed up of doing everything.

sent him back to work in oct but theres so much i cant do cos of my arms etc n medication, that he had to give his managers job up cos he couldnt put in the hours. now hes part time on the tills n charly goes play school on the days he works. he had already had 10 months on the sick to look after me n charly. it just annoys me how upset i get cos hes mardy. it makes me think about how i do feel really n not 'im fine' thing. its not fair for him but i find it hard to deal with.

much love leonie xxxx

well done on giving up smoking, I gave up about 5 years ago but when I was diagnoed the first thing I wanted was a ciggie, I didnt take one, but how it wouldve calmed me down. You guys will be grand, just keep  your chin up babe. I feel good these days but still have this pain in my neck and ive got it in my head its something more sinister, but think thats natural, just waiting on oncologist appt, takes up to 8 weeks after radio finishes, sometimes i think scotland is way behind as no one else seems to wait this long or do they? x

well done on giving up smoking, I gave up about 5 years ago but when I was diagnoed the first thing I wanted was a ciggie, I didnt take one, but how it wouldve calmed me down. You guys will be grand, just keep  your chin up babe. I feel good these days but still have this pain in my neck and ive got it in my head its something more sinister, but think thats natural, just waiting on oncologist appt, takes up to 8 weeks after radio finishes, sometimes i think scotland is way behind as no one else seems to wait this long or do they? x